New roommate emails to request they be given the desk and bed by the window. Wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi,
I was going to ask you to let me choose the space first, mainly because I suffer from mild claustrophobia and anxiety.

It does not mean that the window space suits me best, it just means that I will have to evaluate that once I get to the room and inspect the space. The difference for me is that I will be healthier while away from home.

I am sure you will understand. Thank you so much for reaching out. I am looking forward to being roomies .

- Larla

Great way to scare off a new roommate. I am selfish and have mental health issues. Each should get one spot by the window. How hard it it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn’t be a bad time for your DC to note a preference for a quiet in the room after 10 pm, or an incense-free room, or other such tidbit.

It’s about establishing boundaries. We have a neighbor who would encroach big time if we let her. Over the past several years she has asked for such things as being able to have her party guests park on our driveway and lawn; to have her guest stay in our carriage house (for free) for two months and to have an adopted pit bull live in our yard. Early on, I donated a sizable amount to her PAC and the following year she asked for 6x that amount and seemed put out when we wouldn’t agree. Suffice it to say that, since we have to live with her next to us, we balance out what we agree to with what we get from her. We agree to very little and always balance it with requesting something reasonable in conjunction with the “give.” Wish it didn’t have to be this way, but with “takers” you have to set firm boundaries so that things don’t get out of control.

What great advice for life, thank you PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be worried that this girl is pretty self focused. It is just not a great way to begin a room mate relationship. Yes I see that she had that bed last semester but that roommate left. It is a new start.

I would not reply for a while. My reply might include something about waiting to hear on my single.

In the end it will probably be fine.

Really, so if the current resident hadn't had to remove all of his or her stuff, you think the new roommate could have come in and said, "It's a new start, let's flip for your bed!"? Of course not, that's ridiculous. I don't see why this situation should play out any differently.

Yeah I mean there is really zero reason for this to be an argument.

If the original 2 kids were there, would it not be somewhat acceptable for the old roommate to ask for some time in the better spot? If I am new girl walking in to an empty room, no one has a claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi,
I was going to ask you to let me choose the space first, mainly because I suffer from mild claustrophobia and anxiety.

It does not mean that the window space suits me best, it just means that I will have to evaluate that once I get to the room and inspect the space. The difference for me is that I will be healthier while away from home.

I am sure you will understand. Thank you so much for reaching out. I am looking forward to being roomies .

- Larla

Great way to scare off a new roommate. I am selfish and have mental health issues. Each should get one spot by the window. How hard it it?

...and your point is? The new roommate can come early and get her coveted spot. Who dials in and grabs the best space in a room?

[Anonymous]

I don’t see anything wrong with the email. It’s already her spot.

[Anonymous]

The roommate handled this wrong. She should’ve just asked when the person was arriving and made sure she arrived the day before and got set up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can they not arrange the beds or desks so that both are reasonably close to the window?

This. My guess is the girl had a single and moved all the furniture close to the window and shoved everything else away from there. Divide up space by the window. I had a college roommate like this. Crazy. Threatened me. When I got out of that rooming situation, she pushed the beds together to make herself a king-sized bed. She ended up with a single for the rest of the year.

Alternatively, your child could tell them, "Fine, but I now own the door."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? 100% team roommate. S/he was there first.

So? It is a new semester. Sounds like you are like the roommate..entitled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say why don’t we rearrange the room so it works for both of us or one gets the bed and one gets the desk. Your choice which.

Weird to have someone else desk closest to your bed.

Normally the rooms are small. Why should roommate get both the bed and desk by the window?

[Anonymous]

I am dumbfounded at many of these responses. I think the roommate’s email was fine - both the request (as others pointed out, the roommate’s stuff would be in this spot but for the covid driven mid year move out requirement) and the tone (not rude at all! why is everyone micromanaging the pleasanrries this girl should have used in her email?).

To be honest OP, your daughter’s immediate offense at the request, her judgment of the roommate’s friendlessness due to her instagram pics, and her plan to pretend not to have received the email are the reactions/responses that seem offensive and rude. And I am no pushover, but I also don’t pick fights and choose my battles.

Also, to the teacher who noted that email etiquette is lacking in teens, I agree - my own kids’ emails seem very cold to me. Whwn I point this out, they say my texts are too wordy. Thinking this is a generational difference!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New roommate emails to say “Hi, I see we will be roommates for Spring Semester. I was on campus last semester and had the bed and desk by the window. For break I had to pack everything as we did not know if we would return to campus. I am not sure of your move in date, mine is ____. If you arrive before me can you please leave the bed and desk by the window for me to move into?”
Child (recipient of email) is not pleased with the general lack of pleasantries in email and the request itself. Child is hoping they get off the waitlist for a single room before their move in date.
Wwyd?

Dear Roomate,

Eff that. I’ve decided we can split 50% every resource in the room, especially since I’m paying full tuition. Don’t like it? Deal anyway. Welcome to the real world. I’ve put tape down the middle of both the desk and the window so you know how far you can go with window treatment or desktop supplies. The mini fridge is mine. You can stack another on top but if you do you must sign a damage waiver accepting responsibility if shit goes down and the electricity creates some kind of fire endangering others. And I study late. My best work is done between 11pm and 7am so adjust your class schedule accordingly.

Welcome to the streets of Hopkins, baby!

One,
Faux Rizzeal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they not arrange the beds or desks so that both are reasonably close to the window?

This. My guess is the girl had a single and moved all the furniture close to the window and shoved everything else away from there. Divide up space by the window. I had a college roommate like this. Crazy. Threatened me. When I got out of that rooming situation, she pushed the beds together to make herself a king-sized bed. She ended up with a single for the rest of the year.

Alternatively, your child could tell them, "Fine, but I now own the door."

That doesn’t actually work. It leaves a big gap.
—Former RA.

[Anonymous]

Why does the roommate need OPs child as a roommate? Did she lose her 1st one? How?

If she had added something friendly about how important the window spot was to her, the email would have been totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they not arrange the beds or desks so that both are reasonably close to the window?

This. My guess is the girl had a single and moved all the furniture close to the window and shoved everything else away from there. Divide up space by the window. I had a college roommate like this. Crazy. Threatened me. When I got out of that rooming situation, she pushed the beds together to make herself a king-sized bed. She ended up with a single for the rest of the year.

Alternatively, your child could tell them, "Fine, but I now own the door."

That doesn’t actually work. It leaves a big gap.
—Former RA.

Which part leaves a gap? Owning the door? And where did you obtain your RA title Ms./Mr. Roomie Expert? Different campuses have different credentialing standards. Tell us the worst you’ve seen and depending on the grit and lessons learned we will follow your RA guidance forever.

/s kinda <:o*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New roommate emails to say “Hi, I see we will be roommates for Spring Semester. I was on campus last semester and had the bed and desk by the window. For break I had to pack everything as we did not know if we would return to campus. I am not sure of your move in date, mine is ____. If you arrive before me can you please leave the bed and desk by the window for me to move into?”
Child (recipient of email) is not pleased with the general lack of pleasantries in email and the request itself. Child is hoping they get off the waitlist for a single room before their move in date.
Wwyd?

Dear Roomate,

Eff that. I’ve decided we can split 50% every resource in the room, especially since I’m paying full tuition. Don’t like it? Deal anyway. Welcome to the real world. I’ve put tape down the middle of both the desk and the window so you know how far you can go with window treatment or desktop supplies. The mini fridge is mine. You can stack another on top but if you do you must sign a damage waiver accepting responsibility if shit goes down and the electricity creates some kind of fire endangering others. And I study late. My best work is done between 11pm and 7am so adjust your class schedule accordingly.

Welcome to the streets of Hopkins, baby!

One,
Faux Rizzeal

Ah PP, you’re too much lol!