My wife just went into labor

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. I had my daughter on July 1. I was so excited when the bill passed and then I read the fine print. I went back to work this week after using advanced sick leave. It’s a bummer but I’ve accepted it. If I had waited/known I would have had a different baby and the baby I got is pretty awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First congrats on the kid, secondly as a dad as well, no dad should be around that long at the beginning trust me on this. You don't want to be around. do your part to help by giving her space and time.

WTF???? My husband took the full 12 weeks and it was amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeesh. Maybe I will get totally flamed for this, and I’m sorry that this is how my mind works, but what verification is needed in order to take the lead? I’m not really aware of any. It’s not like you have to provide a birth certificate or some thing. Your wife will probably be discharged from the hospital on one October. I mean, can you just tell your supervisor that that’s when the kid was born?

Yes, of course you have to provide a birth certificate you idiot.

I'd actually be surprised if that's true, since the paperwork involved is front-loaded before the birth of the child. Now, I'm *absolutely* not suggesting that the OP lie. That's a terrible idea. The workplace certainly could demand documentation, and if they catch you in a lie, it's absolutely a fireable offense.

OP- you're definitely in a really unfortunate situation. I think there were bound to be people in this situation no matter what, but it's got to be tough that you ended up with the short straw.

You should definitely look into getting donated sick leave *to care for your wife* after delivery. The OPM guidance instructs agencies to be rather liberal in their interpretation of the family-friend sick leave policies to grant parents several weeks during which they can use sick leave, not just annual leave. You could also try to get some donated leave. A lot of people at my agency are likely to have a ton of use-or-lose at the end of the year, so there might be a lot of people out there willing to donate leave.

Are you stupid? Your employer needs the baby's birth date in order to be added to insurance, for one thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeesh. Maybe I will get totally flamed for this, and I’m sorry that this is how my mind works, but what verification is needed in order to take the lead? I’m not really aware of any. It’s not like you have to provide a birth certificate or some thing. Your wife will probably be discharged from the hospital on one October. I mean, can you just tell your supervisor that that’s when the kid was born?

Yes, of course you have to provide a birth certificate you idiot.

I'd actually be surprised if that's true, since the paperwork involved is front-loaded before the birth of the child. Now, I'm *absolutely* not suggesting that the OP lie. That's a terrible idea. The workplace certainly could demand documentation, and if they catch you in a lie, it's absolutely a fireable offense.

OP- you're definitely in a really unfortunate situation. I think there were bound to be people in this situation no matter what, but it's got to be tough that you ended up with the short straw.

You should definitely look into getting donated sick leave *to care for your wife* after delivery. The OPM guidance instructs agencies to be rather liberal in their interpretation of the family-friend sick leave policies to grant parents several weeks during which they can use sick leave, not just annual leave. You could also try to get some donated leave. A lot of people at my agency are likely to have a ton of use-or-lose at the end of the year, so there might be a lot of people out there willing to donate leave.

Are you stupid? Your employer needs the baby's birth date in order to be added to insurance, for one thing.

Insurance forms and leave requests go to completely different people. We don’t require any specific documentation for FMLA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeesh. Maybe I will get totally flamed for this, and I’m sorry that this is how my mind works, but what verification is needed in order to take the lead? I’m not really aware of any. It’s not like you have to provide a birth certificate or some thing. Your wife will probably be discharged from the hospital on one October. I mean, can you just tell your supervisor that that’s when the kid was born?

Yes, of course you have to provide a birth certificate you idiot.

I'd actually be surprised if that's true, since the paperwork involved is front-loaded before the birth of the child. Now, I'm *absolutely* not suggesting that the OP lie. That's a terrible idea. The workplace certainly could demand documentation, and if they catch you in a lie, it's absolutely a fireable offense.

OP- you're definitely in a really unfortunate situation. I think there were bound to be people in this situation no matter what, but it's got to be tough that you ended up with the short straw.

You should definitely look into getting donated sick leave *to care for your wife* after delivery. The OPM guidance instructs agencies to be rather liberal in their interpretation of the family-friend sick leave policies to grant parents several weeks during which they can use sick leave, not just annual leave. You could also try to get some donated leave. A lot of people at my agency are likely to have a ton of use-or-lose at the end of the year, so there might be a lot of people out there willing to donate leave.

Are you stupid? Your employer needs the baby's birth date in order to be added to insurance, for one thing.

Insurance forms and leave requests go to completely different people. We don’t require any specific documentation for FMLA.

I had to supply proof of birth for my maternity leave to be approved. I sent the hospital birth record. They were not accepting anything verbal.

[Anonymous]

My Mom went into labor with me as Dad getting ready for work. Good timing as Dad dropped Mom off on way to work.

Back in my Day the women was put under and Dads not allowed in room. No point Dad staying at hospital and lose a days lay. After birth baby was take to another room to be cleaned up and given a bottle.

After mom woke up she cleaned up, had lunch and saw baby. Back for a bit more rest then she put her make up on, did her hair had dinner and then visiting hours. Dad showed up with a few relatives and passed out cigars.



My mom had last one four years later when they now decided moms should stay awake and Dads in room it was a miserable exhausting horrible experience. She swore I would never of had four under these circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Mom went into labor with me as Dad getting ready for work. Good timing as Dad dropped Mom off on way to work.

Back in my Day the women was put under and Dads not allowed in room. No point Dad staying at hospital and lose a days lay. After birth baby was take to another room to be cleaned up and given a bottle.

After mom woke up she cleaned up, had lunch and saw baby. Back for a bit more rest then she put her make up on, did her hair had dinner and then visiting hours. Dad showed up with a few relatives and passed out cigars.



My mom had last one four years later when they now decided moms should stay awake and Dads in room it was a miserable exhausting horrible experience. She swore I would never of had four under these circumstances.

Congratulations on living to see a better world. Sorry your dad was such a POS he made your mom miserable and exhausted.

[Anonymous]

We just got notice at my agency that birth certificates will be required

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mom went into labor with me as Dad getting ready for work. Good timing as Dad dropped Mom off on way to work.

Back in my Day the women was put under and Dads not allowed in room. No point Dad staying at hospital and lose a days lay. After birth baby was take to another room to be cleaned up and given a bottle.

After mom woke up she cleaned up, had lunch and saw baby. Back for a bit more rest then she put her make up on, did her hair had dinner and then visiting hours. Dad showed up with a few relatives and passed out cigars.



My mom had last one four years later when they now decided moms should stay awake and Dads in room it was a miserable exhausting horrible experience. She swore I would never of had four under these circumstances.

Congratulations on living to see a better world. Sorry your dad was such a POS he made your mom miserable and exhausted.

My Mom was miserable with fourth birth. My Mom actually got dressed up for hospital, Dad in suit. Had a few days rest. Actually my Mom was induced for me on her due date. She woke up relaxed baby.

Fourth one dragged to hospital when water broke in full labor, Dad barely out of pajamas after a 12 hour day at work then screaming with my moms legs in air they pulled out a bloody baby. Then Dad rushed home as three kids unattended dealing with that drama and back to hospital. And new rules kick you out right away. We are going backwards in child birth

[Anonymous]

So I work for an independent agency and we implemented the program differently. They started the paid family leave benefit on May 15 and then allowed anyone who had a kid within the last 12 months to take leave before the kid’s 1st birthday.

If there is a new administration, there’s a good chance you will retroactively get the 12 paid weeks to use before your kid’s first birthday. They will deduct any unpaid FMLA leave you take now from the 12 week balance (eg, you use 4 weeks unpaid FMLA in 2020 and they change the policy after Biden is elected, you’ll only get 8 weeks paid parental leave when a new Administration changes the guidance). My independent agency gave to us in this manner earlier this year.

Use your sick leave to the fullest extent possible to enjoy time with your new baby. But I think this is something to keep in mind, if you plan on taking unpaid FMLA leave before the first birthday. If Biden wins, I would be shocked if OPM didn’t change the regs on this almost immediately. Also, a new Administration can vacate regs issued in the final 6 months of the former Administration. The Federal Register notice for paid family leave was finalized only in August 2020 so it would be amended quickly.

[Anonymous]

Give me a break... I love how dudes are complaining about no paid leave. Women should have had this years ago from the federal government.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give me a break... I love how dudes are complaining about no paid leave. Women should have had this years ago from the federal government.

No, women and men should have had this year's ago. Your sexist view belongs in the dust bin of history.

[Anonymous]

This thread really shows the worst of society. A third of the responses were "I had it worse, therefore I have no sympathy," and another third were "men have no placing raising babies." The sentiments underlying these attitudes are why American society is so F'd these days.