Completely polarized politically - can we last?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people internalize this stuff so much? I am a leftist with conservative friends. Just don’t go there. There are a million other things to discuss.

I'm a leftist with conservative friends, but people who support Trump are not "conservative."

I make the same distinction. Conservatives, yes. Magas, I can't respect.

Agreed. I have conservative Christian in laws. They are NOT Trump supporters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG OP I feel for you. The biggest concern I would have is that your kids are exposed to this on TV and radio constantly. This is going to do some damage to their worldview and not sure how you can effectively counter this. Can you put some boundaries on any discussion with your kids and how to control what they are exposed to?

I also wonder if your husband is depressed and maybe a reason for his beliefs?

OP here - He usually holes himself up and listens alone, so that is not a concern. We kind of have a truce on this. He knows I can't stand right-wing radio and I don't make him listen to NPR.

I am not entirely sure what happened for him to really go down the rabbit hole, but have a theory. Not going to really go into this in detail, but it's work-related and a constant source of anger/resentment/unhappiness. We've talked about counseling, but I think that would really be the end. There's a lot of pent up stuff we probably should have addressed long ago. I'm trying to ride it out and see if we can reconnect in the future.

If Trump wins again I am swearing off following politics entirely for my mental health. I am not some super-liberal, but the last four years have been a head snap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am in the same boat.
Kids are 10 and 13. It’s is so hard.
PPs stated “talk about something else.” Like what? Our kids for the millionth time? It is so hard to find a topic the talk about without it being incredibly superficial (weather, entertainment, etc)

OP again - I'm sorry. It totally sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have been together for 22 years, married most of it.

I'm one of the posters from a previous thread that said if we met today I wouldn't go on a second date. He and his whole family (all very educated) are all in for Trump. In 2016 I chalked it up to not liking Hillary Clinton, which wasn't exactly unique. But we are in a whole other territory now - Flynn was railroaded, indictments for Comey, etc. are coming, refusing to denounce the killing of Heather Heyer, Antifa (don't get me started), and now, defending Kyle Rittenhouse and lauding him for his trigger control.

I wish I was joking or exaggerating. I am not. I don't even know the person I am married to anymore.

I just feel so, so lost.

Grounds for divorce—I’m serious.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have been together for 22 years, married most of it.

I'm one of the posters from a previous thread that said if we met today I wouldn't go on a second date. He and his whole family (all very educated) are all in for Trump. In 2016 I chalked it up to not liking Hillary Clinton, which wasn't exactly unique. But we are in a whole other territory now - Flynn was railroaded, indictments for Comey, etc. are coming, refusing to denounce the killing of Heather Heyer, Antifa (don't get me started), and now, defending Kyle Rittenhouse and lauding him for his trigger control.

I wish I was joking or exaggerating. I am not. I don't even know the person I am married to anymore.

I just feel so, so lost.

Do you have kids, OP? How old are they? Would your husband's world view or that of his family impact them in any way? If so, I think you should consider divorce. These are not the people you want to have direct influence over your kids. File for sole custody. I am not even joking.

If you don't have kids and you still love him, then maybe talk through it and consider couples therapy to help you both find a way to move beyond this.

I know my advice may sound counterproductive, but really consider leaving if you have young children.

Wow Trump Derangement Syndrome is a real thing. OP do not divorce over this.

OP absolutely do not let your kids learn Trump propaganda. You tell them the truth and facts and science.

Absolutely divorce that garbage!

Supporting Trump after today not acceptable in any circumstance. Kyle Rittenhouse is just his ridiculous base and this is only going to get worse. Who supports someone who says Kyle Rittenhouse's actions were acceptable in any realm????

EX REPUBLICAN Vote him out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG OP I feel for you. The biggest concern I would have is that your kids are exposed to this on TV and radio constantly. This is going to do some damage to their worldview and not sure how you can effectively counter this. Can you put some boundaries on any discussion with your kids and how to control what they are exposed to?

I also wonder if your husband is depressed and maybe a reason for his beliefs?

OP here - He usually holes himself up and listens alone, so that is not a concern. We kind of have a truce on this. He knows I can't stand right-wing radio and I don't make him listen to NPR.

I am not entirely sure what happened for him to really go down the rabbit hole, but have a theory. Not going to really go into this in detail, but it's work-related and a constant source of anger/resentment/unhappiness. We've talked about counseling, but I think that would really be the end. There's a lot of pent up stuff we probably should have addressed long ago. I'm trying to ride it out and see if we can reconnect in the future.

If Trump wins again I am swearing off following politics entirely for my mental health. I am not some super-liberal, but the last four years have been a head snap.

OP is you are staying with your husband then please at the very least teach your children.
Trump is an unacceptable person to be modeling behavior from.

Lying daily, non science and violence is no way to raise children. For all the church goers might want to remember that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG OP I feel for you. The biggest concern I would have is that your kids are exposed to this on TV and radio constantly. This is going to do some damage to their worldview and not sure how you can effectively counter this. Can you put some boundaries on any discussion with your kids and how to control what they are exposed to?

I also wonder if your husband is depressed and maybe a reason for his beliefs?

OP here - He usually holes himself up and listens alone, so that is not a concern. We kind of have a truce on this. He knows I can't stand right-wing radio and I don't make him listen to NPR.

I am not entirely sure what happened for him to really go down the rabbit hole, but have a theory. Not going to really go into this in detail, but it's work-related and a constant source of anger/resentment/unhappiness. We've talked about counseling, but I think that would really be the end. There's a lot of pent up stuff we probably should have addressed long ago. I'm trying to ride it out and see if we can reconnect in the future.

If Trump wins again I am swearing off following politics entirely for my mental health. I am not some super-liberal, but the last four years have been a head snap.

Gosh, I feel like maybe I know you. I certainly know a couple like this, especially the bolded, and yes, the husband voted for Trump. The stress at work made him even more right wing. It seems like many male Trumpsters have "angry white man" syndrome, be the anger from work or something else.

I agree with PP.. politics is one thing (spouse and I have some different views on politics), but Trump transcends politics. We both despise Trump. I would love to go back to the days of my spouse and I discussing and debating about policies, but for now, we just share "omg did you hear what Trump did/said today... " stories.

Do you have kids? If not, or if they are much older, like close to leaving for college, if I were in your shoes, I might think about separating. I would have lost all respect for my spouse by now, and there is no way to salvage that. A marriage without any respect for the other person is doom to fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people internalize this stuff so much? I am a leftist with conservative friends. Just don’t go there. There are a million other things to discuss.

Perhaps She doesn't want to be attached for life to a racist bigot? Just throwing that out there.


Perhaps HE doesn't want to be attached for life to a racist bigot! If he’s Trump supporter, he’s a racist but if she’s democrat, she’s not racist ? Hypocrisy to fullest.

[Anonymous]

I could not personally live w/another person who actually would support racism, anti-abortionists as well as just pure meanness.

Because anyone who supports Trump, supports his ideology as well.

And that would be a huge personality flaw to say the least.

Anyone who would stand behind someone who is saying that the CA wildfires are due to not raking enough is just as ignorant as the fellow they worship.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am in the exact same boat. I am not sure if we can stay married. I tell him, why do you bother going to church every week if you don't follow any of Jesus' teachings? Just so tired of being married to a hateful, paranoid right winger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Folks. I highly doubt this is a sincere post. The whole goal is to introduce a bit of whataboutism, it's relative. Stoke fear of "splitting up families". Don't be fooled this is a politically driven post cleverly designed propaganda. People are better at spotting and calling it out in political forums, so they sneak it in casually in other forums, here, family relationships, and even the childcare sections. Don't be fooled.


On the very small chance this is from a person;

i really don't just see how this is true, and how there were zero signs until this year, you even admit, you overlooked it last time. It's always been there. As I have said before I have elsewhere I have Republicans in my family as friends they never voted for trump. Trump-supporting isn't just some political differenc.e You don't have to be a Republican to support him, people just like to say those things to disguise the truth about what they are.
I highly doubt your husband has been able to hide who he really is from your for 22 years. Get out of here with that!

The only difference now is YOU are starting to feel social shame for supporting those things. Or you magically developed a conscience. Had you developed a conscience you would know what to do, since that isn't the case just do what you've been doing for 22 years and keep your head in the sand.

Of course it can be real. My DH and I were much closer politically before Obama. I think President Obama was the best modern President for sure; my DH is frankly jealous that this guy his age was and is so successful. DH has always been more guns and security oriented but prior to 2008 our differences were not a chasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Folks. I highly doubt this is a sincere post. The whole goal is to introduce a bit of whataboutism, it's relative. Stoke fear of "splitting up families". Don't be fooled this is a politically driven post cleverly designed propaganda. People are better at spotting and calling it out in political forums, so they sneak it in casually in other forums, here, family relationships, and even the childcare sections. Don't be fooled.


On the very small chance this is from a person;

i really don't just see how this is true, and how there were zero signs until this year, you even admit, you overlooked it last time. It's always been there. As I have said before I have elsewhere I have Republicans in my family as friends they never voted for trump. Trump-supporting isn't just some political differenc.e You don't have to be a Republican to support him, people just like to say those things to disguise the truth about what they are.
I highly doubt your husband has been able to hide who he really is from your for 22 years. Get out of here with that!

The only difference now is YOU are starting to feel social shame for supporting those things. Or you magically developed a conscience. Had you developed a conscience you would know what to do, since that isn't the case just do what you've been doing for 22 years and keep your head in the sand.

Of course it can be real. My DH and I were much closer politically before Obama. I think President Obama was the best modern President for sure; my DH is frankly jealous that this guy his age was and is so successful. DH has always been more guns and security oriented but prior to 2008 our differences were not a chasm.

Yup, this. I thought if DH and survived the Bush-Gore election and that being decided by the Supreme Court, we could survive anything.

Ha! That was a walk in the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Folks. I highly doubt this is a sincere post. The whole goal is to introduce a bit of whataboutism, it's relative. Stoke fear of "splitting up families". Don't be fooled this is a politically driven post cleverly designed propaganda. People are better at spotting and calling it out in political forums, so they sneak it in casually in other forums, here, family relationships, and even the childcare sections. Don't be fooled.


On the very small chance this is from a person;

i really don't just see how this is true, and how there were zero signs until this year, you even admit, you overlooked it last time. It's always been there. As I have said before I have elsewhere I have Republicans in my family as friends they never voted for trump. Trump-supporting isn't just some political differenc.e You don't have to be a Republican to support him, people just like to say those things to disguise the truth about what they are.
I highly doubt your husband has been able to hide who he really is from your for 22 years. Get out of here with that!

The only difference now is YOU are starting to feel social shame for supporting those things. Or you magically developed a conscience. Had you developed a conscience you would know what to do, since that isn't the case just do what you've been doing for 22 years and keep your head in the sand.

Of course it can be real. My DH and I were much closer politically before Obama. I think President Obama was the best modern President for sure; my DH is frankly jealous that this guy his age was and is so successful. DH has always been more guns and security oriented but prior to 2008 our differences were not a chasm.

Sure he was just jealous Lady you are lying to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP. I would really struggle living with that too.

+1

Marrying a Trumper is like being married to the BKT killer.

You equate a trump supporter to a serial killer?

See, it’s the liberal way or the highway! Typical.

+1
Crazy much? And why Trump may win again. Vote for your guy and let others do the same without going off the deep end.

I can't stand Trump since I can't see pass his character. But his supporters can, instead they focus on economy, small town recovery, immigration reform, pro-life, etc - ideals that matter to them. Doesn't make them hateful, just different view point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP. I would really struggle living with that too.

+1

Marrying a Trumper is like being married to the BKT killer.

You equate a trump supporter to a serial killer?

See, it’s the liberal way or the highway! Typical.

+1
Crazy much? And why Trump may win again. Vote for your guy and let others do the same without going off the deep end.

I can't stand Trump since I can't see pass his character. But his supporters can, instead they focus on economy, small town recovery, immigration reform, pro-life, etc - ideals that matter to them. Doesn't make them hateful, just different view point.

New poster to this thread, but +1 to the above. I’m not a Trump supporter either, didn’t vote for him, but the attitudes by the modern left and in this thread are appalling. The intolerance is absolutely astounding.

If you’re considering divorce after 22 years due to differing political views, your DH is not the problem, and is better off without you.