Completely polarized politically - can we last?

[Anonymous]

I seem to find I fundamental difference in values between me and Trump republicans. Well, I find several, but the most important I find is that we have a very different opinion on whether or not we should care about other people, or only care about ourselves.

Knowing that my spouse cared so little for the lives and well being of others, especially those different from himself, would be an absolute deal breaker for me. I feel so strongly about it, I don't think I would be able to find a way past it, around it, over it, through it...anything.

Understand others may feel less strongly about this than I do. But just a way to say, OP, you are not alone in these feelings. I feel for you, and I hope you can keep your sanity through whatever you decide to do. If you chose to leave, I wouldn't fault you for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP. I would really struggle living with that too.

+1

Marrying a Trumper is like being married to the BKT killer.

You equate a trump supporter to a serial killer?

See, it’s the liberal way or the highway! Typical.

+1
Crazy much? And why Trump may win again. Vote for your guy and let others do the same without going off the deep end.

I can't stand Trump since I can't see pass his character. But his supporters can, instead they focus on economy, small town recovery, immigration reform, pro-life, etc - ideals that matter to them. Doesn't make them hateful, just different view point.

New poster to this thread, but +1 to the above. I’m not a Trump supporter either, didn’t vote for him, but the attitudes by the modern left and in this thread are appalling. The intolerance is absolutely astounding.

If you’re considering divorce after 22 years due to differing political views, your DH is not the problem, and is better off without you.

Can you explain how supporting white supremacists is a political view?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP who said agree with me or else mentality. Why are liberals like this? All of my neighbors are voting for Biden and you know what? We are friends with all of them. We dont talk politics and I respect their right to a different opinion. But if you vote for Trump you are literally labeled as a racist bigot. And I remember the same vitriol being tossed around when Bush was running so dont say this is unique to Trump--liberals will paint you as a racist no matter who the candidate is if you support them. Some people internalize and care way too much about this stuff.

You might not be racist but you support a racist.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. I just can’t get past something like that.

It’s like me being with a Nazi who loves dear Fuhrer. We can’t talk about the weather. We both think each other is destroying our country.

A new friend proudly showed me a picture of her DH with Trump. To me it’s like “look, I took a picture with Hitler! How exciting!”

I live in the South and being surrounded by trumpists is becoming unbearable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP who said agree with me or else mentality. Why are liberals like this? All of my neighbors are voting for Biden and you know what? We are friends with all of them. We dont talk politics and I respect their right to a different opinion. But if you vote for Trump you are literally labeled as a racist bigot. And I remember the same vitriol being tossed around when Bush was running so dont say this is unique to Trump--liberals will paint you as a racist no matter who the candidate is if you support them. Some people internalize and care way too much about this stuff.

You might not be racist but you support a racist.

This is what I don't get. How can you support someone who has made it abundantly clear they are a racist if you yourself are not a racist? How can you be okay with your spouse doing the same?

[Anonymous]

^ He has many black and minority supporters that see pass what he says to what he does - research some of the policies he's enacted, pushed for minorities. (Some food for thought - I hope he doesn't win, but don't fully believe he is a racist.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry. I just can’t get past something like that.

It’s like me being with a Nazi who loves dear Fuhrer. We can’t talk about the weather. We both think each other is destroying our country.

A new friend proudly showed me a picture of her DH with Trump. To me it’s like “look, I took a picture with Hitler! How exciting!”

I live in the South and being surrounded by trumpists is becoming unbearable.

Hitler? Really? That’s insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I work in government so we see how the sausage is made every day. There is nothing wrong with being conservative vs liberal and having different ideas on how the government should operate. We think the left does silly things. However, at this point, we cannot tolerate anyone who supports Trumpism. We don’t understand how real conservatives and Republicans (which we used to be) can support 95% of his actions, and disbelieve the things they see with their own eyes and hear with their own ears (We get a lot of “he never said XYZ” and just call it fake news when someone shows them a clip). It means you never learned civics or understood anything about what the idea of America is. We actually blame the Senate more than Trump himself because the US system was set up to deal with someone who perceived themselves to be a king. Most of the R senators know better, yet they refuse to exercise their given authority as a co-equal branch of government. They should be better serving the population by showing them a proper legislative way to serve and protect the American people, instead of going along with the graft and corruption and illegality of the current WH occupant.

So yes, if I were married to a blathering Q-anon Trumpist, be gone and I’d weep because my children carried half stupid genes.

DP. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't mean to be incredibly condescending, but I'm one of the posters on here that identifies with OP - I'm in the same situation.

And guess what, my husband and I are also both in government. We see how the sausage is made. We both have professional degrees and had private sector careers using those degrees before joining government. My husband went to a prep school you have definitely heard of and a pretty selective university you may have gone to yourself. He is very knowledgeable of American history. He does not buy into QAnon. So to paint anyone that supports Trump as a blathering QAnon idiot is naive and also dangerous. We might be your friends or neighbors or your boss. A lot of people are going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP. I would really struggle living with that too.

+1

Marrying a Trumper is like being married to the BKT killer.

You equate a trump supporter to a serial killer?

See, it’s the liberal way or the highway! Typical.

+1
Crazy much? And why Trump may win again. Vote for your guy and let others do the same without going off the deep end.

I can't stand Trump since I can't see pass his character. But his supporters can, instead they focus on economy, small town recovery, immigration reform, pro-life, etc - ideals that matter to them. Doesn't make them hateful, just different view point.

New poster to this thread, but +1 to the above. I’m not a Trump supporter either, didn’t vote for him, but the attitudes by the modern left and in this thread are appalling. The intolerance is absolutely astounding.

If you’re considering divorce after 22 years due to differing political views, your DH is not the problem, and is better off without you.

Can you explain how supporting white supremacists is a political view?

+1. How is intolerance for intolerance bad? Are people really trying to argue that hatred, racism, and misogyny are things anyone should tolerate? That's a disgusting attitude. We are on the brink of fascism. Make no mistake, if Trump "wins" "again" America is no longer a democracy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry. I just can’t get past something like that.

It’s like me being with a Nazi who loves dear Fuhrer. We can’t talk about the weather. We both think each other is destroying our country.

A new friend proudly showed me a picture of her DH with Trump. To me it’s like “look, I took a picture with Hitler! How exciting!”

I live in the South and being surrounded by trumpists is becoming unbearable.

Hitler? Really? That’s insane.

Read some history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ He has many black and minority supporters that see pass what he says to what he does - research some of the policies he's enacted, pushed for minorities. (Some food for thought - I hope he doesn't win, but don't fully believe he is a racist.)

Lol, what he does is WORSE.

[Anonymous]

C'mon, conservatives in this thread. You must know this isn't a simple political disagreement, right? Supporting a president so racist, selfish, and morally bankrupt that he celebrates violence, intentionally stirs up hatred (racial and otherwise), causes more people to suffer and die from COVID because he thinks it's what's best for him politically, and is attempting to undermine democratic elections and the peaceful transfer of power is a moral issue-- there's no way to be a good person and support that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:C'mon, conservatives in this thread. You must know this isn't a simple political disagreement, right? Supporting a president so racist, selfish, and morally bankrupt that he celebrates violence, intentionally stirs up hatred (racial and otherwise), causes more people to suffer and die from COVID because he thinks it's what's best for him politically, and is attempting to undermine democratic elections and the peaceful transfer of power is a moral issue-- there's no way to be a good person and support that.

I can't decide if it's trollbots or if it's just cognitive dissonance. I think people who would actually consider voting for Trump are anxiety-ridden people who don't care about being ignorant because it's so much more comfortable. They may actually not think they are racist misogynists and they would rather lie to themselves than face the terrifying reality that this may very well be the last election they ever have the privilege to vote in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP who said agree with me or else mentality. Why are liberals like this? All of my neighbors are voting for Biden and you know what? We are friends with all of them. We dont talk politics and I respect their right to a different opinion. But if you vote for Trump you are literally labeled as a racist bigot. And I remember the same vitriol being tossed around when Bush was running so dont say this is unique to Trump--liberals will paint you as a racist no matter who the candidate is if you support them. Some people internalize and care way too much about this stuff.

Because you are a racist bigot it you still support Trump. This is not up for debate.

I did't like GW Bush, but I certainly didn't lose such massive respect for people who supported him. We didn't agree. There was room for debate.

There is NO room for debate with Trump. He is destroying America. If you can't see it, you are not paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ He has many black and minority supporters that see pass what he says to what he does - research some of the policies he's enacted, pushed for minorities. (Some food for thought - I hope he doesn't win, but don't fully believe he is a racist.)

Early on Adolph had jewish supporters. does that mean he was not an anti-semite?