If your son sexually assaulted a girl WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father, I think you always have support your family. I'd definitely lawyer up and support him. I'd have him go to therapy as well. If he actually did it, he needs therapy. If he didn't do it and it's a false accusation, he will need therapy pretty soon. I'm always in my kid's corner. Would I feel bad for the girl and her family? Yes, absolutely. And of course, if I had a daughter who claimed someone raped her I would try to pursue that person to the fullest extent of the law. I'd probably try to take revenge myself, unfortunately.

This makes no sense. I'm trying to raise good humans. That means teaching them to take responsibility for their actions. I might hire my DS a lawyer, since everyone deserves legal representation, but I would also make sure he didn't think I supported his actions or thought they were anything short of criminal. I generally don't expect my kids to pay me back for most things, but the legal defense would be something I'd expect him to pay me back for.

Let him use a public defender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if your daughter got drunk and hooked up with a college guy, then the next day her friends were all gossiping so she decides to say she was raped because she was drunk and so she said she couldn’t consent. Then the boy gets kicked out of college. Happens every day. The girl needs to take responsibility for this. Too many ruined boys from retroactive guilt or embarrassment.

FU, no it doesn't! You're making stuff up that has no bearing in reality. The reality is that the overwhelming majority of campus rapes go unreported.

-- Person who was raped in college and didn't report it

It does NOT happen every day. Women are repeatedly overlooked even when they do report. Don't believe me? Read this: https://www.theatlantic.com/press-releases/archive/2019/07/an-epidemic-of-disbelief-august-issue/594145/ I know you won't, which says all I need to know about you.

Women under report. When they do report, they are disbelieved. They are judged for their clothes, what they did, their past history . . .

I got news for you, I was assaulted by a friend's brother at a sleepover (didn't report), by a combat veteran uncle (didn't report it). I have been on dates with young men now in positions of principals and government positions who held me down, told me I wanted it, that I would have to "give it up next time", only to have to fight them off. This was the valedictorian of my HS, another the start football player, among others. These encounters started nice enough with "nice boys", and then escalated when they couldn't check the entitlement of someone not wanting to have sex with them.

So the only thing that happens "all the time" are women getting assaulted, underreporting, and being not believed.

And my situation is not a lone situation. In talking to friends, it is more common that you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if your daughter got drunk and hooked up with a college guy, then the next day her friends were all gossiping so she decides to say she was raped because she was drunk and so she said she couldn’t consent. Then the boy gets kicked out of college. Happens every day. The girl needs to take responsibility for this. Too many ruined boys from retroactive guilt or embarrassment.

No it doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

And if he raped a 6 year old would this still be your view? If not, why does the age change your opinion?

[Anonymous]

Honestly? 1.) Puke. 2.) Not make excuses for him. 3.) Slug him in the junk.

To be clear, I'm not a hitter and never have been. But sexual assault is on a very short list of things that would prompt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father, I think you always have support your family. I'd definitely lawyer up and support him. I'd have him go to therapy as well. If he actually did it, he needs therapy. If he didn't do it and it's a false accusation, he will need therapy pretty soon. I'm always in my kid's corner. Would I feel bad for the girl and her family? Yes, absolutely. And of course, if I had a daughter who claimed someone raped her I would try to pursue that person to the fullest extent of the law. I'd probably try to take revenge myself, unfortunately.

This makes no sense. I'm trying to raise good humans. That means teaching them to take responsibility for their actions. I might hire my DS a lawyer, since everyone deserves legal representation, but I would also make sure he didn't think I supported his actions or thought they were anything short of criminal. I generally don't expect my kids to pay me back for most things, but the legal defense would be something I'd expect him to pay me back for.

Let him use a public defender.

What if he’s innocent? I love that you guys advocate a parent judging guilt at a lower standard than the courts themselves!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

And if he raped a 6 year old would this still be your view? If not, why does the age change your opinion?

How do you know he did it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

I'd likely do the same; however, boys don't just "find themselves" in these situations.

Exactly, I was going to add I’m very close with my son as a father. Closer than most I would think, but who knows, we talk about everything, so if he were accused of something I would be more apt to go into full protective mode.

Even if it was clear he was guilty? I would turn son over to authorities and tell him his choices have consequences. Now it is time to face the consequences!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

And if he raped a 6 year old would this still be your view? If not, why does the age change your opinion?

How do you know he did it?

How do you know he did not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

And if he raped a 6 year old would this still be your view? If not, why does the age change your opinion?

How do you know he did it?

This did not answer my question. If he (allegedly) raped a 6 year old would you still get the best defense and "try to ruin the girl"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if your daughter got drunk and hooked up with a college guy, then the next day her friends were all gossiping so she decides to say she was raped because she was drunk and so she said she couldn’t consent. Then the boy gets kicked out of college. Happens every day. The girl needs to take responsibility for this. Too many ruined boys from retroactive guilt or embarrassment.

FU, no it doesn't! You're making stuff up that has no bearing in reality. The reality is that the overwhelming majority of campus rapes go unreported.

-- Person who was raped in college and didn't report it

+1
I've been raped twice and didn't report either. You have no idea what victims go through.

If you don’t report it, you lose the right to bitch about nothing being done to perpetrator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

You are beyond DISGUSTING.
Yes, you need to be in your son's corner. Try and find the TRUTH. If he didn't do it and you know for a FACT then okay, of course get him legal resources and help, absolutely. But what if you don't know that for a fact? NEWSFLASH: men who sexually assault women don't admit to it. To say you would try to RUIN (OMFG!!) the girl who may have already been violated and be SCARRED for the rest of her life? You are the scum of the earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

And if he raped a 6 year old would this still be your view? If not, why does the age change your opinion?

It would make me think he was also rsped as a child so yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

And if he raped a 6 year old would this still be your view? If not, why does the age change your opinion?

I would think he was rss as per as a child in this scenario so I would get him help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if your daughter got drunk and hooked up with a college guy, then the next day her friends were all gossiping so she decides to say she was raped because she was drunk and so she said she couldn’t consent. Then the boy gets kicked out of college. Happens every day. The girl needs to take responsibility for this. Too many ruined boys from retroactive guilt or embarrassment.

No it doesn't.

Agree. Not common. Far worse stigma reporting a sexual assault than just “going too far”. And anyone who isn’t psychotic wouldn’t make a false claim. This hateful narrative is so deeply misogynistic that it makes me sick.