If your son sexually assaulted a girl WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I’m reading this awful article in Vanity Fair about an assault at St. Paul’s in the early 90s and thinking what would I do if I knew/thought my son had done something like that. As a survivor of assault, myself, it makes me physically ill to think about. There is a lot I could forgive my sons for, but not sure I could ever get over that.

[Anonymous]

I would call the police. Not paying for a defense lawyer either.

[Anonymous]

If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully you are raising your kids well and this won't be an issue for you. The guy who assaulted me grew up witnessing domestic violence and sexual abuse of a sibling. He was also likely a sociopath. Ideally, you'd notice something was off with your boy and address it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading this awful article in Vanity Fair about an assault at St. Paul’s in the early 90s and thinking what would I do if I knew/thought my son had done something like that. As a survivor of assault, myself, it makes me physically ill to think about. There is a lot I could forgive my sons for, but not sure I could ever get over that.

There was an assault there in the last 10 years.

[Anonymous]

You will be surprised but most of the parents will be either in denial that their child would ever do something like that, or go into a full protective mode (top lawyers, etc.). I've never seen any parent turning their child in, and I worked in a criminal system for many years.

[Anonymous]

Your job is to be on your son's side. That may mean giving him guidance on how best to handle the situation so that he can have a chance at a decent future. That to me would include doing the right thing by the victim, in whatever form that may take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

I'd likely do the same; however, boys don't just "find themselves" in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

I'd likely do the same; however, boys don't just "find themselves" in these situations.

Exactly, I was going to add I’m very close with my son as a father. Closer than most I would think, but who knows, we talk about everything, so if he were accused of something I would be more apt to go into full protective mode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what parents do. And then, they find out about the other girls or years later, the women in college and in his office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what parents do. And then, they find out about the other girls or years later, the women in college and in his office.

I know of around three guys who were accused in what were BS cases and in each case it really left a mark on the boys. They each ended up getting happily married and would never get themselves into a situation like that again. It takes two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were my son I wouldn’t believe it and I would get the best defense and investigators and try to ruin the girl. Just being honest.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what parents do. And then, they find out about the other girls or years later, the women in college and in his office.

I know of around three guys who were accused in what were BS cases and in each case it really left a mark on the boys. They each ended up getting happily married and would never get themselves into a situation like that again. It takes two.

You are fortunate that you don’t know any sexual assault survivors at all. I know many and their lives are permanently marked by some person’s cruelty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will be surprised but most of the parents will be either in denial that their child would ever do something like that, or go into a full protective mode (top lawyers, etc.). I've never seen any parent turning their child in, and I worked in a criminal system for many years.

Yeah, I mean I’m not sure any of us can possibly know how we would react but I do know I love my son (who is only 10) unconditionally and I’d guess that unless the assault was against my daughter/his sister, I’d go to the end of the Earth to protect him. Isn’t that what parents do? Just being honest here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be surprised but most of the parents will be either in denial that their child would ever do something like that, or go into a full protective mode (top lawyers, etc.). I've never seen any parent turning their child in, and I worked in a criminal system for many years.

Yeah, I mean I’m not sure any of us can possibly know how we would react but I do know I love my son (who is only 10) unconditionally and I’d guess that unless the assault was against my daughter/his sister, I’d go to the end of the Earth to protect him. Isn’t that what parents do? Just being honest here.

It’s not what good parents do. Good parents don’t enable rapists just because the victim is someone else’s family member.

[Anonymous]

If your DH admitted he raped a woman or you had good evidence he did, what would you do? Would you be a loyal wife?