Is refusing to date or marry outside of your race/culture considered racism?

[Anonymous]

I feel like saying "I would never date a black person" is racist.

But just not being attracted to a black person and never happening to date one is not. One implies making a preconceived notion about an entire group of people, the other is the result of a set of personal preferences played out over a dating life.

I am not super attracted to Asian men, but there is a certain flavor of super fit kind of punk California Asian guy I would totally go for. And I would never say I could never date an Asian man. I think that overall, I would 'swipe right' so to speak on less Asian men than other races. But eliminating an entire ethnicity just because of an aesthetic preference is actively trying to hide racism, because there's always some version you would find attractive.

TLDR: If you refuse to consider anyone outside your race ever BECAUSE they are outside your race, then that is racist, but if you go through life open minded and happen to never date outside your race, I do not think that is racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This idea that black women have to date white men or they are racist is horrifying. Nobody is entitled to their bodies like that!

No one has to date anyone, but if you consider any race of people unilaterally unattractive, you are exhibiting racism.

The OP is specifically asking about dating, not considering people attractive. So let's be clear: are you saying that black women who will not date white men are racist?

If you are saying that a black woman must date white men or those women are racist, that is horrific.

By definition, Black people can't be racist.

+1000

Not possible.

Oh but they can be....

DP. Black people are quite racist towards hispanic people. I do not think black people can be racist towards white people because of power imbalance structures though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This idea that black women have to date white men or they are racist is horrifying. Nobody is entitled to their bodies like that!

No one has to date anyone, but if you consider any race of people unilaterally unattractive, you are exhibiting racism.

The OP is specifically asking about dating, not considering people attractive. So let's be clear: are you saying that black women who will not date white men are racist?

If you are saying that a black woman must date white men or those women are racist, that is horrific.

By definition, Black people can't be racist.

Okay, let's accept this for now, as I don't want to argue this particular point and I see your point. I still want to understand just how much access to women's bodies you think men of any race are entitled to. Of the below groups, who do you think must date whom, in order to not be considered racist. And I specifically mean "date" because that is the question OP asked. Are all the women below racist?

White woman who won't date white men
Asian women who won't date white men
Black women who won't date Latino men
Latina women who won't date Latino men
Latina women who won't date white men

I'm a sexual assault survivor and I find this idea that men are wholly entitled to women's bodies to be utterly abhorrent but it seems to be an idea that a lot of people on this thread think is totally fine, which I find horrific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This idea that black women have to date white men or they are racist is horrifying. Nobody is entitled to their bodies like that!

No one has to date anyone, but if you consider any race of people unilaterally unattractive, you are exhibiting racism.

The OP is specifically asking about dating, not considering people attractive. So let's be clear: are you saying that black women who will not date white men are racist?

If you are saying that a black woman must date white men or those women are racist, that is horrific.

By definition, Black people can't be racist.

+1000

Not possible.

Explain this? So a white woman who refuses to date a black man is racist, but a black man who refuses to date a white woman is not. Is that what you're saying?

That is exactly what pp is saying and anyone can be racist. The definition is not specific to any ethnicity.
rac·ism
/ˈrāˌsizəm/
noun
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This idea that black women have to date white men or they are racist is horrifying. Nobody is entitled to their bodies like that!

No one has to date anyone, but if you consider any race of people unilaterally unattractive, you are exhibiting racism.

The OP is specifically asking about dating, not considering people attractive. So let's be clear: are you saying that black women who will not date white men are racist?

If you are saying that a black woman must date white men or those women are racist, that is horrific.

By definition, Black people can't be racist.

+1000

Not possible.

Oh but they can be....

DP. Black people are quite racist towards hispanic people. I do not think black people can be racist towards white people because of power imbalance structures though.

Exactly. Societal structures with baked in racism have treated us poorly over the years.

If there is any resentment from that situation, I would not call it “racism”

[Anonymous]

I mean, dating is about CHOOSING someone to be with. No one should have to choose someone they’re not interested in or attracted to (for whatever reason), and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t interested in or attracted to me, regardless of whether it was racially motivated or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This idea that black women have to date white men or they are racist is horrifying. Nobody is entitled to their bodies like that!

No one has to date anyone, but if you consider any race of people unilaterally unattractive, you are exhibiting racism.

The OP is specifically asking about dating, not considering people attractive. So let's be clear: are you saying that black women who will not date white men are racist?

If you are saying that a black woman must date white men or those women are racist, that is horrific.

By definition, Black people can't be racist.

+1000

Not possible.

Oh but they can be....

DP. Black people are quite racist towards hispanic people. I do not think black people can be racist towards white people because of power imbalance structures though.

Institutional racism is one thing, but the personal beliefs and actions of an individual can also be racism.

[Anonymous]

I am white and based on appearance only, I’m mostly only attracted to other white men (so on dating apps, I mostly swipe and match with white men). That being said, I’ve ‘fallen for’ guys of other races after actually knowing them and seeing their personality. I think it’s hard in the online dating world to look beyond physical appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like saying "I would never date a black person" is racist.

But just not being attracted to a black person and never happening to date one is not. One implies making a preconceived notion about an entire group of people, the other is the result of a set of personal preferences played out over a dating life.

I am not super attracted to Asian men, but there is a certain flavor of super fit kind of punk California Asian guy I would totally go for. And I would never say I could never date an Asian man. I think that overall, I would 'swipe right' so to speak on less Asian men than other races. But eliminating an entire ethnicity just because of an aesthetic preference is actively trying to hide racism, because there's always some version you would find attractive.

TLDR: If you refuse to consider anyone outside your race ever BECAUSE they are outside your race, then that is racist, but if you go through life open minded and happen to never date outside your race, I do not think that is racist.

- said the racist white lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just being honest, the Indian kids at my DD’s high school only sat with one another at school. They spoke in Hindu to each other. They weren’t allowed to hang around with “other” kids outside of school, let alone date them.

It’s not racist but many colleges are very Balkanized in terms of dining, evening socializing and dating. This seems more apparent at smaller schools (just easier to see it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was only attracted to people of my own race and religion to marry and have kids with. I have friends from many races and religion and while I am close to them and enjoy their culture, I wanted to pass on my own culture to my children.

So gross and provincial.

Provincial? Most people in the world actually feel the same way. It’s fine that you don’t, but it’s dumb to be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Racism is to deny civil liberties, constitutional rights, human rights, educational opportunities, govt and NGO programs, job opportunities, housing opportunities and protection of law and order.

I do not care if others don't want to date or marry my children.

All these things are very much present covertly, in a subtle way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This idea that black women have to date white men or they are racist is horrifying. Nobody is entitled to their bodies like that!

No one has to date anyone, but if you consider any race of people unilaterally unattractive, you are exhibiting racism.

The OP is specifically asking about dating, not considering people attractive. So let's be clear: are you saying that black women who will not date white men are racist?

If you are saying that a black woman must date white men or those women are racist, that is horrific.

By definition, Black people can't be racist.

+1000

Not possible.

Oh but they can be....

DP. Black people are quite racist towards hispanic people. I do not think black people can be racist towards white people because of power imbalance structures though.

Hispanics are considered white. Ergo, Blacks cannot be racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This idea that black women have to date white men or they are racist is horrifying. Nobody is entitled to their bodies like that!

No one has to date anyone, but if you consider any race of people unilaterally unattractive, you are exhibiting racism.

The OP is specifically asking about dating, not considering people attractive. So let's be clear: are you saying that black women who will not date white men are racist?

If you are saying that a black woman must date white men or those women are racist, that is horrific.

By definition, Black people can't be racist.

+1000

Not possible.

Explain this? So a white woman who refuses to date a black man is racist, but a black man who refuses to date a white woman is not. Is that what you're saying?

That is exactly what pp is saying and anyone can be racist. The definition is not specific to any ethnicity.
rac·ism
/ˈrāˌsizəm/
noun
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

Whites are not a minority or marganilized. It would atypical for a Black person to be considered racist. Did you even read the definition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s racism. I also think you are lumping together two very different things. I am white and Jewish, I would have no problem dating Jewish POC, even though they are relatively uncommon. I know I would have bigger issues dating a white Christian. To me a desire to date within your culture or religion is very natural.

If you had children, would you allow them to date a non-religious POC?

Realistically, I can’t “not allow” my children to date someone, no good will come out of it either way. My two oldest are in college, so I know what I am talking about. I can only hope that the way I raised my kids, their Jewishness is a big and significant part of who they are, so when the time comes for them to choose life partners, if they are not Jewish, those people will at least be open to leading a somewhat Jewish life, even if they don’t formally convert.