Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses defending the nanny for wanting to leave are ridiculous.

It’s time to part ways. This is a pandemic and she’s putting your family at risk because she’s bored. You have been more than kind and fair. Tell her if she leaves she cannot come back. Pack up and go.

Keep your family safe. It will be much less stressful when she leaves.

+1 Sorry for the lack of childcare but good that you stood your ground, OP. The people defending the nanny are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

We are paying her fairly, generously and in compliance with all laws.
She’s not working or even on call 24x7
She got a check from the government last week and she’s told us that she wants to get a job that pays cash while collecting unemployment. This is what her friends are doing apparently

That's not really your business. You don't sound very empathetic to how incredibly hard it would be to have to quarantine in your employer's home. If you need her, make this situation worth it to her. Otherwise, why wouldn't she want to crash with friends and collect?

As a taxpayer, I find this offensive. Someone getting paid, and also collecting money that is meant for everyone who isn't getting paid??

She got A payment from the government - according to the earlier comment. So she probably got a stimulus check. Wonder why your first thought was to get offended?

OP said the nanny plans to resign, then collect unemployment and hang out with friends
That’s frustrating for many reasons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

She leaves twice a day
she goes running in the mornings and she goes for a drive in the evenings

And how many discussions/guilt trips did you try to lay on her about her leaving the property to run? I think you are both better off just parting ways.

Op is looking for an indentured servant who will do as told. The nanny didn't cut it - so out on the street she goes. Op's "safety" above ALL else.

I don't see that at all. I see a young woman who's terribly bored and wants to go party with her group of friends on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

This is a hot mess. I think the OP is seriously taking advantage of this young woman’s inexperience. It’s too bad that she doesn’t seem to know that she needs to consult a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

She leaves twice a day
she goes running in the mornings and she goes for a drive in the evenings

And how many discussions/guilt trips did you try to lay on her about her leaving the property to run? I think you are both better off just parting ways.

Op is looking for an indentured servant who will do as told. The nanny didn't cut it - so out on the street she goes. Op's "safety" above ALL else.

I don't see that at all. I see a young woman who's terribly bored and wants to go party with her group of friends on the weekends.

Nope. The nanny's life does not revolve around Op and Op's needs. The nanny is entitled to spend her own off hours as she sees fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

She leaves twice a day
she goes running in the mornings and she goes for a drive in the evenings

And how many discussions/guilt trips did you try to lay on her about her leaving the property to run? I think you are both better off just parting ways.

Op is looking for an indentured servant who will do as told. The nanny didn't cut it - so out on the street she goes. Op's "safety" above ALL else.

I don't see that at all. I see a young woman who's terribly bored and wants to go party with her group of friends on the weekends.

There is nothing in this to say she wants to go and party. I know a lot of young adults in their early twenties and I don't know a single one that hasn't seen anyone except their employer for the last 6 weeks. They either live with with family or with roommates or have been seeing a boyfriend / girlfriend or have been interacting with a small number of friends (1-3). None that I know are partying at all but they are interacting with people outside their employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

She leaves twice a day
she goes running in the mornings and she goes for a drive in the evenings

And how many discussions/guilt trips did you try to lay on her about her leaving the property to run? I think you are both better off just parting ways.

Op is looking for an indentured servant who will do as told. The nanny didn't cut it - so out on the street she goes. Op's "safety" above ALL else.

I don't see that at all. I see a young woman who's terribly bored and wants to go party with her group of friends on the weekends.

DP. I think you’re being a bit harsh. The nanny loves with her employer, so when she’s off the clock, she zero opportunities for in-person social interaction until she wants to effectively go back on the clock. OP doesn’t exactly sound like the kind of employer who’s hanging out with her nanny socially, so it wouldn’t surprise me if the nanny is starting to struggle emotionally with the extent of her isolation from other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

We are paying her fairly, generously and in compliance with all laws.
She’s not working or even on call 24x7
She got a check from the government last week and she’s told us that she wants to get a job that pays cash while collecting unemployment. This is what her friends are doing apparently

That's not really your business. You don't sound very empathetic to how incredibly hard it would be to have to quarantine in your employer's home. If you need her, make this situation worth it to her. Otherwise, why wouldn't she want to crash with friends and collect?

As a taxpayer, I find this offensive. Someone getting paid, and also collecting money that is meant for everyone who isn't getting paid??

She got A payment from the government - according to the earlier comment. So she probably got a stimulus check. Wonder why your first thought was to get offended?

OP said the nanny plans to resign, then collect unemployment and hang out with friends
That’s frustrating for many reasons

Under Op's ridiculous rules the nanny would have to be a celibate shut in with no life outside of Op's home. I just can't imagine treating another human being like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

She leaves twice a day
she goes running in the mornings and she goes for a drive in the evenings

And how many discussions/guilt trips did you try to lay on her about her leaving the property to run? I think you are both better off just parting ways.

Op is looking for an indentured servant who will do as told. The nanny didn't cut it - so out on the street she goes. Op's "safety" above ALL else.

I don't see that at all. I see a young woman who's terribly bored and wants to go party with her group of friends on the weekends.

DP. I think you’re being a bit harsh. The nanny loves with her employer, so when she’s off the clock, she zero opportunities for in-person social interaction until she wants to effectively go back on the clock. OP doesn’t exactly sound like the kind of employer who’s hanging out with her nanny socially, so it wouldn’t surprise me if the nanny is starting to struggle emotionally with the extent of her isolation from other people.

That poor nanny has been quarantined with Op for the past 6 weeks. If I could hug that poor woman I would do it because Op sounds truly awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses defending the nanny for wanting to leave are ridiculous.

It’s time to part ways. This is a pandemic and she’s putting your family at risk because she’s bored. You have been more than kind and fair. Tell her if she leaves she cannot come back. Pack up and go.

Keep your family safe. It will be much less stressful when she leaves.

+1 Sorry for the lack of childcare but good that you stood your ground, OP. The people defending the nanny are ridiculous.

It seems to be the same person responding over and over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be OK with her leaving and coming back. Sounds like that crowd is not taking it seriously as you. I’d offer her some choices and let her decide.

Two weeks quarantine at least and if she doesn’t have vacation time, then it is without pay.

Thanks the problem is that she lives with us
So where would she quarantine?!
This is what I’ve been trying to explain to her
She doesn’t take the risk seriously so she thinks it’s perfectly fine to go and stay with friends for the weekend
I’m not sure we could trust her to self quarantine as she thinks it’s ok to meet with other people who she believes are being careful, whatever that means

If she has her own entrance and vehicle and a private space within the home, that means she can quarantine there.

OP no we won’t permit that as the kids could run out to see her and we don’t want to take that risk

You’re aware of the footprint of their home and the dynamics of their kids and family??

You can't control your kids for the 30 seconds it would take for her to get out of her and walk in the door?

The "footprint" and dynamics are irrelevant. It's absurd to say they have no way of preventing their children from running outside 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

She leaves twice a day
she goes running in the mornings and she goes for a drive in the evenings

And how many discussions/guilt trips did you try to lay on her about her leaving the property to run? I think you are both better off just parting ways.

Op is looking for an indentured servant who will do as told. The nanny didn't cut it - so out on the street she goes. Op's "safety" above ALL else.

I don't see that at all. I see a young woman who's terribly bored and wants to go party with her group of friends on the weekends.

There is nothing in this to say she wants to go and party. I know a lot of young adults in their early twenties and I don't know a single one that hasn't seen anyone except their employer for the last 6 weeks. They either live with with family or with roommates or have been seeing a boyfriend / girlfriend or have been interacting with a small number of friends (1-3). None that I know are partying at all but they are interacting with people outside their employer.

Yes, this! And, as others have said, her job requirements have radically changed. If her employer expects to have a say in how she uses her off hours, then she has no off hours and should get paid for this. I get why the OP wants this, but it probably isn’t legal, and it definitely isn’t humane.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but after 4-6 weeks of being locked up at work with your employer and their children, I think we'd all be crawling out of our skin to get away. That's just reality. And I'm surprised more people don't have this basic level of compassion for this poor nanny. OP is locked up with her family. OP's nanny is alone. At work. And has been for weeks.

[Anonymous]

your house, your rules

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny in California and haven’t gone ANYWHERE except work for 49 days. No walks, no grocery stores, no friends, nothing. Unlike OP’s nanny, I actually care about the family who employs me and don’t want to do anything to put them at risk. Most nannies will be okay with a quarantine. Get a new one over 30 who has a brain and isn’t selfish.