EX-DH spanked our 6y old

[Anonymous]

If that doesn’t earn a spanking in your house you are parenting wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You have different parenting philosophies or maybe he just reacted due to the safety danger. It isn't going to traumatized her unless you make a big deal out of it.

Se did something that was dangerous and what is more dangerous is that she didn't stop when told to. She is more the old enough to follow instructions and to understand when a parent is saying stop due to a dangerous situation that you don't turn it into a game.

Hopefully the spanking sticks with her in a way that will keep her from being killed on her bike.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never spanked my kids, I’m not a fan of it. But if one of my kids did what yours did at that age—biked our of sight and then laughed in my face when I told her it was unsafe, I would have spanked her too. Maybe that spanking will prevent her from getting hit by a car in the future, did you think of that?

This.
Your kid deserved it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

No she just not have delays, she’s a great kid most of the time, but she does however like to be in control. I’m sure this was her trying to control the situation (how far she went, when she came back) She has always been this way.

Well she took it too far this time. Do you see that? How do you feel about the situation now that you’ve heard from others?

She is a child and the parent is in control. She needs to learn this. Yout ex-DH is parenting and letting DD know he's in charge. The fact she's always been this way doesn't make it acceptable.[/quote

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never spanked my kids, I’m not a fan of it. But if one of my kids did what yours did at that age—biked our of sight and then laughed in my face when I told her it was unsafe, I would have spanked her too. Maybe that spanking will prevent her from getting hit by a car in the future, did you think of that?

This.
Your kid deserved it.

Maybe she deserved it. Let’s see if this spanking really teaches her the skill she is lacking and solves the problem of not listening to/laughing at DH trying to keep her safe.

OP, this might be a one time incident, but it sounds like you have a challenging child. I recommend reading The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Green. The book is about parenting challenging children through solving problems collaboratively. It may help you.

[Anonymous]

Your husband likely just saved your daughter. If she behaves like that it sounds like you are raising a spoiled brat who doesnt respect rules or boundaries. At least having one adult in her life that will guide her is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have three kids and have never spanked. This is one area where the research is unanimous - spanking hurts more than it helps.

That said, I think the fact that your daughter called you to complain, and that you listened to your ex’s side of the story - as though he were your daughter’s sibling — says a lot about your own failings as a human being and as a parent.

Whether you like your ex or not, he is an adult who is parenting a child. He has as much right as you to parent his daughter. Your daughter was disrespectful to him and did something dangerous, and your only response is to focus on his response?

You are not being a parent here. You are being a controlling ex-wife who is being disrespectful to your ex-husband and undermining his relationship with his daughter.

I agree that spanking is not the best response, but perhaps that’s the best way your husband knew to get her attention. Your post was focused on making your ex wrong and getting people to agree with you that he should be labeled a bad parent. Most people disagree with you, because your post makes it clear that you are immature and controlling.

You need to figure out how to grow up and co-parent respectfully. Your daughter is only going to get more out-of-control given the way you are parenting. Get some help as a family. Especially get help on parenting.

I don’t think that’s fair. OP did say she got his side and is understandably upset by his reaction and is posting this part. She clearly believes her daughter did something dangerous and wrong. Making this about disliking her ex is projection. I don’t see anything controlling about objecting to physical punishment.

No, it’s not projection. You just can’t read. Try reading OP’s post again.