15 yo girl had a meltdown about buying something herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not a store. Will there be a cash register? Will I have to figure out how much the three boxes of cookies cost for myself? What if I don't get the right change? Will my mom be mad? Will she make a scene? Will other people see? Why is the table outside in front of the store where everyone can see? Will someone get upset that I'm taking so long to decide which flavors to get? Will someone think, "she really doesn't need all of those cookies"? Will someone from school see me buying all of these cookies? Will they make fun of me tomorrow?

You get the point. There's nothing natural about the situation, and your DDs other buying experiences don't exactly match what happens at the Girl Scout cookie table.

At some point, you might invite your DD to get curious about what bothered her about the situation, and listen to what she has to say.

She does not buy things at school impromptu? She does not buy things at house of worship? Honestly she seems pretty secluded if these situations have never come up before.
Therapy is in order on how to make purchases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is it awkward to say "I would like 2 boxes of thin mints" and hand a 10 year old girl $8 and take 2 boxes? I am not understanding here. This is basic functioning in society.

Does she not know cash math? There seems something truly off here. Does she make purchases at the mall or at Walmart? What does she do with her Christmas, holiday or birthday money? Does she buy things at McDs?

Honestly this cookie transaction seems like something she should have learned in second grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a store. Will there be a cash register? Will I have to figure out how much the three boxes of cookies cost for myself? What if I don't get the right change? Will my mom be mad? Will she make a scene? Will other people see? Why is the table outside in front of the store where everyone can see? Will someone get upset that I'm taking so long to decide which flavors to get? Will someone think, "she really doesn't need all of those cookies"? Will someone from school see me buying all of these cookies? Will they make fun of me tomorrow?

You get the point. There's nothing natural about the situation, and your DDs other buying experiences don't exactly match what happens at the Girl Scout cookie table.

At some point, you might invite your DD to get curious about what bothered her about the situation, and listen to what she has to say.

She does not buy things at school impromptu? She does not buy things at house of worship? Honestly she seems pretty secluded if these situations have never come up before.
Therapy is in order on how to make purchases.

OP said she buys things at stores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it awkward to say "I would like 2 boxes of thin mints" and hand a 10 year old girl $8 and take 2 boxes? I am not understanding here. This is basic functioning in society.

Does she not know cash math? There seems something truly off here. Does she make purchases at the mall or at Walmart? What does she do with her Christmas, holiday or birthday money? Does she buy things at McDs?

Honestly this cookie transaction seems like something she should have learned in second grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these children so anxious?

Because they can be whoever they want online/social media then reality smacks them in the face and they don’t know how to have a real interaction or relationship.

Bingo

Plus 1000. Kids are very cloistered nowadays. At age 13-14 we were running the cash box at houses of worship selling spaghetti dinner tickets or having people pay us for
pancake breakfasts. It used to be common place for kids to be able to act in avariety of social situations with people of all ages. I can see a 4 or 5 year old crying in a girl scout cookie
transaction but something is very off with a 15 year old not being able to buy girl scout cookies and remain composed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these children so anxious?

What are you on about now? OP is talking about her child and somehow you got to “all these children?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a store. Will there be a cash register? Will I have to figure out how much the three boxes of cookies cost for myself? What if I don't get the right change? Will my mom be mad? Will she make a scene? Will other people see? Why is the table outside in front of the store where everyone can see? Will someone get upset that I'm taking so long to decide which flavors to get? Will someone think, "she really doesn't need all of those cookies"? Will someone from school see me buying all of these cookies? Will they make fun of me tomorrow?

You get the point. There's nothing natural about the situation, and your DDs other buying experiences don't exactly match what happens at the Girl Scout cookie table.

At some point, you might invite your DD to get curious about what bothered her about the situation, and listen to what she has to say.

She does not buy things at school impromptu? She does not buy things at house of worship? Honestly she seems pretty secluded if these situations have never come up before.
Therapy is in order on how to make purchases.

What kind of house of worship is selling stuff? I've never heard of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these children so anxious?

I'm sure there are a lot of contributing factors. But, I will add one: people are bigger jerks this day and age. (Not the GS.) I've seen adults dressing down children in various contexts. I've seen adults verbally abusing store clerks. Teachers speaking poorly to students. It's ridiculous. Lots of ADULTS get nervous interacting with people. so I don't fault children.

Having said all that, I do make my child place the order at restaurants, take the lead in interacting with teachers, etc. If they don't practice those skills at all, then they'll never develop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these children so anxious?

Because they can be whoever they want online/social media then reality smacks them in the face and they don’t know how to have a real interaction or relationship.

Bingo

Plus 1000. Kids are very cloistered nowadays. At age 13-14 we were running the cash box at houses of worship selling spaghetti dinner tickets or having people pay us for
pancake breakfasts. It used to be common place for kids to be able to act in avariety of social situations with people of all ages. I can see a 4 or 5 year old crying in a girl scout cookie
transaction but something is very off with a 15 year old not being able to buy girl scout cookies and remain composed.

This is one of the reasons why I'm very pro-cookie booths for Girl Scouts. It's one of the few times when a lot of these girls will interact with a stranger, possibly have to deal with a weird personality, make some uncomfortable small talk, and do other basic public interactions. This thread has only validated my thoughts.

Having a hundred small socially awkward moments as a child probably helps insulate against a teen freaking out over being in an unknown social situation.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been giving my kids money to go up to booths at farmers markets to buy something alone (while I watched from a distance) since they were 5. These social interactions need to be happening throughout their childhood.

Parents need to stop helicoptering then wondering why their child can’t function as a teen/young adult. This may not be your case OP, but either way, yes she needs help.

A friend of mine is a camp nurse and she said the number of adolescents taking anti depressants and anti anxiety meds is astounding.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but this has to be one of the oddest threads I've ever read on DCUM. So speaking with children is now awkward and odd? Buying Girl Scout cookies makes many people anxious? How do the same people handle Halloween?

Buying Girl Scout cookies is awkward because the seller disengages? So, then re-direct them. Talk to the adult that is supervising (there has to be one at the booths, my kid was a Girl Scout). I mean, JFC, this is really depressing if this thread is true; especially if the DD is 15. How will she be able to handle going to college at 18?

As a side note, the Girl Scout cookie program really helps empower girls so hopefully they don't have anxiety as they get older. The troops usually set a financial goal with a purpose (to pay for a camping trip for example). They estimate how many boxes they need to sell to meet that goal. They practice making sales pitches for orders and then ask their family and neighbors to buy, learning to interact with people, give information on the different cookies, and complete sales forms, calculate totals. Then those same girls have to organize their sales, distribute the orders and collect the money. This is totally separate from cookie booths at CVS or the dry cleaners. It actually is a great program, to learn business sense, teamwork and build confidence. The booth sales are extra. Maybe OP's DD should join a troop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs serious therapy in order to function in the world. At 16 I was working outside jobs at 20 hours a week in addition to high school.

Kids are different these days than when we were kids. And we can't (shouldn't) blame them because we did it to them.

I respectfully disagree. I see many kids are even MORE capable than in the 90s when I was a teen. OP I think exposure therapy would be good to pursue. Your daughter is an outlier and thinking "kids are just different now" is not going to help her.

[Anonymous]

Omg this poor girl does NOT need therapy. She’s fifteen! I guarantee you she will age out of this and be perfectly normal in a few years. I used to cry every single week when my mom drove me to piano lessons. My mom literally thought I was going insane. To this day I can’t tell even you why I cried, but 99% sure it is hormones. I am happy and well-adjusted and can buy Girl Scout cookies. Let teenagers be teenagers, please! They have exactly zero mental resilience. It will pass!