What do you wish you knew when expecting your first?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C section was way better than vaginal.

Wow really? [/quote section pain for a year afterwards. Don’t ask for major surgery

[Anonymous]

Don’t bother making a birth plan. The baby will decide that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C section was way better than vaginal.

Wow really? [/quote section pain for a year afterwards. Don’t ask for major surgery

I had a forceps birth and it hurt to sit down and have sex for years because it injured my tailbone and pelvic floor muscles. Just about ruined my marriage. Pelvic PT helped some but I still get flare ups many years later.

[Anonymous]

You're not just having a baby. You're having a toddler, a six year old, a teenager, and a young adult at some point, God willing. Try to remember the long game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of those decisions that you agonize over don’t matter.

This is SO TRUE.

[phone], the most true thing on here. Except vaccination. While it won't matter much to your own kids you're a giant d if you don't do it.

Other things,

1) +1 on c sections being awesome. But I know people who loved natural birth. Know there isnt much you can do to dictate this with your first baby (you have more choices generally with #2 based on history) but ask women in your family about propensity towards pelvic floor issues.

2) Feed your baby however you want. The person this will primarily effect is you so choose accordingly
. Breastfeeding is (from what I've heard) very personally rewarding and creates a special bond. Formula feeding makes equitable distribution of baby care easier and statistically gets babies sleeping through the night more quickly. Breastfeeding is physically taxing and formula is pretty expensive. Make the choice that best fits your own happiness because that is something far far far more impacted by this choice than your child's health or well being. Kid will be fine either way!

3) Make sure your husband and/or baby daddy doesnt suck. This will impact your experience of child rearing more than any other thing in your life, including money. Seriously it's better to be a single mom than to have a crappy spouse in many cases.

4) Hold your baby, love your baby, dont shake your baby and don't fall asleep drunk next to them on a mattress with a lot of blankets and you'll be fine. What matters most is loving them and making sure they are being touched and held regularly (not necessarily by you all the time!). Everything else is noise and the variety of life experience.

This poster is spot on (mom of college-bound kid, and I seem to vaguely recall I was in the "yay natural birth"
camp and also breastfed, but it's not important now). Also, high-five about it being easier to be single than have a crappy co-parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Freezer stashes are highly overrated. The benefits of thawed breast milk over formula are questionable. Thawing the milk can be a pain - a bunch of my bags leaked which is super annoying when trying to get out the door in the morning. Just give the baby formula.

+100

Look up high lipase. I never heard of it until I thawed my first bag of breastmilk and it smelled like soap. I thawed another one and it was the same. I tasted a drop and gagged. My baby reacted the same way. I had to throw out at least 100oz of breastmilk and then supplemented with formula as needed when I went back to work and couldn’t pump enough. SUCH a waste of tiny building a freezer stash.

[Anonymous]

Breastfeeding doesn't always melt the baby weight.

A lot of new moms need "in between" wardrobes for going back to work. You won't want to wear your maternity clothes, but your pre-pregnancy clothes probably won't fit after 12 weeks (in some cases, after 6 months, etc).

You will never be "worry free" ever again... but the pay off is worth it

[Anonymous]

I wish I would have discovered The Birth Hour (thebirthhour.com) before I gave birth. It was still helpful for me to process my feelings after my child's birth but would have been great to listen to the range of experiences beforehand (much better than reading silly Ina May Gaskin). And their resources are great, too.

[Anonymous]

Borrow and share baby stuff, as long as it hasn't been recalled.

If you are given nice baby clothes, don't save them for best, because the baby grows fast. You will probably end up dressing your kid in the most washable clothes. In summer they will probably wear the cheap onesies most of the time.

Don't buy the most expensive stroller - we ended using the cheap umbrella stroller most. Same theory with the crib and high chair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t bother making a birth plan. The baby will decide that for you.

Is a birth plan something your OB/GYN helps you come up with? Or do you have to take a class for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t bother making a birth plan. The baby will decide that for you.

Is a birth plan something your OB/GYN helps you come up with? Or do you have to take a class for this?

It's a completely optional list of preferences that you and your partner come up with. It's just so your medical team is aware and can try to accommodate things that are important to you like skin to skin, or delayed cord clamping.

People get hung up on the word "plan" as if you're setting out exactly how the birth needs to happen. That's not what it is.

[Anonymous]

Strollers are unnecessary. Carriers are enough and maybe a snap and go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strollers are unnecessary. Carriers are enough and maybe a snap and go.

Unless your kid is 30lbs by age 1 and you physically can't carry them in the Ergo anymore! But I loved it while it lasted

[Anonymous]

The hardest thing for me was hours and hours spent alone with a baby, catering to its needs. It's mind-numbing. You go from spending most days at the office, surrounded by people, to being stuck at home, up every three hours at night, and even though your baby smells like heaven and is endlessly fascinating, the constant caregiving is very isolating. This is something that you should plan/prepare for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strollers are unnecessary. Carriers are enough and maybe a snap and go.

This isn’t universal, personal preference