What do you wish you knew when expecting your first?

[Anonymous]

Chances are very very high that everything is fine. Try not to worry much.

[Anonymous]

My favorite book during pregnancy was "Expecting Better". My favorite email list was (is!) Lucies List. My favorite book/video after the baby came was Happiest Baby on the Block. These three resources basically got me through it! Now that I have a toddler I like Janet Lansburys blog.

I'm not sure there's anything I could have known or been told in advance. I really had to just learn it all as I went.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:C section was way better than vaginal.

I was all about having a natural birth and avoiding a C-section. I had 2 vaginal births and if I were to do it again I would try to have a planned C-section.
The process of being in labor for 18 hours was completely exhausting and then you get no sleep as the baby wants to eat every 2 or 3 hours.
Also I didn't tear during the births, but from all of the pushing I now have stress incontinence.

[Anonymous]

A good, nutritious, balanced, clean diet matters a lot in the health of your baby. I had GD and I was extremely careful about every bite I put in my mouth. My baby's health and the state of my placenta was excellent as a result. I put on a total of 8 lbs and my baby was 6.5 lbs at birth. I was able to shed the pregnancy weight very rapidly.

My favorite book was Dr. Spock because it said to follow your instinct and my instinct was to love my baby!

Breastfeeding is very hard for the FTM. You need a lot of help, very good diet and maybe it is worth it to get a lactation consultant. Be flexible in feeding, you may need to supplement with formula at time so that you can recover or get some ZZzzzs

All post delivery help makes your life easier. If you choose to outsource, outsource before baby arrives so that you can supervise and set expectations and try the people out.

Declutter ruthlessly. Konmari your whole house. Pare down.

Set up all financial papers in order, including wills, extra insurance, power of attorney etc. Especially important if you are an immigrant and have no family in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C section was way better than vaginal.

I was all about having a natural birth and avoiding a C-section. I had 2 vaginal births and if I were to do it again I would try to have a planned C-section.
The process of being in labor for 18 hours was completely exhausting and then you get no sleep as the baby wants to eat every 2 or 3 hours.
Also I didn't tear during the births, but from all of the pushing I now have stress incontinence.

+ 1

I had two vaginal births and I suffered a broken tail bone and significant tearing. Also, extreme loss of sensation and stretching of the birth canal impacted my sex-life for years. Hemorrhoids, stress incontinence and pelvic floor weakness was what I got out of vaginal birth, I wish I had a c-section, even though it takes a bit longer to recover from that.

[Anonymous]

No need to sweat how you want the "birth experience" to go, because you really cannot predict and control what will happen. The doctors will follow the protocol they follow in any given situation. Focus on the result - your beautiful, healthy baby!

[Anonymous]

You can’t control much. Birth, the baby, you’re really just along for the ride.

I had an unmedicated birth because my labor was so quick, I barely made it to the hospital. And I survived. Since I did it once, I went on to have two more. No birth experience is fun. It is hard no matter what. But manageable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C section was way better than vaginal.

Wow really?

+1 here

Also, a lot of "natural" birth proponents are misogynists and want women to suffer.

My C-section was easy. I was terrified going into it, thanks to the natural birth propaganda I had absorbed. And yet, it was a miraculous, largely pain-free experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good, nutritious, balanced, clean diet matters a lot in the health of your baby. I had GD and I was extremely careful about every bite I put in my mouth. My baby's health and the state of my placenta was excellent as a result. I put on a total of 8 lbs and my baby was 6.5 lbs at birth. I was able to shed the pregnancy weight very rapidly.

My favorite book was Dr. Spock because it said to follow your instinct and my instinct was to love my baby!

Breastfeeding is very hard for the FTM. You need a lot of help, very good diet and maybe it is worth it to get a lactation consultant. Be flexible in feeding, you may need to supplement with formula at time so that you can recover or get some ZZzzzs

All post delivery help makes your life easier. If you choose to outsource, outsource before baby arrives so that you can supervise and set expectations and try the people out.

Declutter ruthlessly. Konmari your whole house. Pare down.

Set up all financial papers in order, including wills, extra insurance, power of attorney etc. Especially important if you are an immigrant and have no family in this country.

This sounds extremely disordered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good, nutritious, balanced, clean diet matters a lot in the health of your baby. I had GD and I was extremely careful about every bite I put in my mouth. My baby's health and the state of my placenta was excellent as a result. I put on a total of 8 lbs and my baby was 6.5 lbs at birth. I was able to shed the pregnancy weight very rapidly.

My favorite book was Dr. Spock because it said to follow your instinct and my instinct was to love my baby!

Breastfeeding is very hard for the FTM. You need a lot of help, very good diet and maybe it is worth it to get a lactation consultant. Be flexible in feeding, you may need to supplement with formula at time so that you can recover or get some ZZzzzs

All post delivery help makes your life easier. If you choose to outsource, outsource before baby arrives so that you can supervise and set expectations and try the people out.

Declutter ruthlessly. Konmari your whole house. Pare down.

Set up all financial papers in order, including wills, extra insurance, power of attorney etc. Especially important if you are an immigrant and have no family in this country.

This sounds extremely disordered.

I thought the exact same thing. This sounds intense and a little unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good, nutritious, balanced, clean diet matters a lot in the health of your baby. I had GD and I was extremely careful about every bite I put in my mouth. My baby's health and the state of my placenta was excellent as a result. I put on a total of 8 lbs and my baby was 6.5 lbs at birth. I was able to shed the pregnancy weight very rapidly.

My favorite book was Dr. Spock because it said to follow your instinct and my instinct was to love my baby!

Breastfeeding is very hard for the FTM. You need a lot of help, very good diet and maybe it is worth it to get a lactation consultant. Be flexible in feeding, you may need to supplement with formula at time so that you can recover or get some ZZzzzs

All post delivery help makes your life easier. If you choose to outsource, outsource before baby arrives so that you can supervise and set expectations and try the people out.

Declutter ruthlessly. Konmari your whole house. Pare down.

Set up all financial papers in order, including wills, extra insurance, power of attorney etc. Especially important if you are an immigrant and have no family in this country.

This sounds extremely disordered.

I thought the exact same thing. This sounds intense and a little unhealthy.

Were you overweight pre pregnancy? Gaining 8.5 lbs does not sound healthy?

[Anonymous]

+1 to Expecting better. It's the best pregnancy book there is.

The Birth Partner is also great to learn about what happens to your body during labor and childbirth.

I had two unmedicated births that were more tiring than painful. They were easy and uncomplicated. But I know I'm very lucky, ymmv, everyone's different. Go for the epidural or planned c if you want, or don't. Do your research, make your own decision, don't let other people's horror stories sway you.

[Anonymous]

Just to provide another perspective, I loved being in labor. And breastfeeding was super easy for me. I was so worried about it because I felt like all I heard were horror stories.

My advice would be to get pelvic floor pt. It helped everything down there, including sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to provide another perspective, I loved being in labor. And breastfeeding was super easy for me. I was so worried about it because I felt like all I heard were horror stories.

My advice would be to get pelvic floor pt. It helped everything down there, including sex.

Can you recommend your pelvic floor PT?

[Anonymous]

Take as much as you can from the hospital - ex diapers, onesies, blankets, pads, you name it. I would have my husband leave with a bag of items each time so they would replenish.