Self-Centerdness and the Elderly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old people are like toddlers in many ways: tantrum throwing, self centered poopy pants who are still so lovable

Is it really “lovable” when old people cuss you out and call the nurse a n*gger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened with my parents too. It so hard especially when you have your own kids and job. If you put yourself in the old persons shoes you'd likely be nasty too. First of all they are in pain, tired, on meds, not getting exercise or much fun. They are basically on death row and feel angry, scared, helpless, depressed, disconnected, dealing with a lot of personal losses.

Actually it doesn't happen to all elderly people. My Grandmother who lived to 97 was still very positive and involved in everyday topics. I never heard her say a bad word about anyone. As she lay dying in hospital and in pain, the only thing she said to me was that I was such a good girl for coming to see her, thank you and God Bless to me. Same as my Grandfather who lived to 78.

My other Grandfather was an old grouch but then he was for most of his mid to older years.

Life wears some people down, some people were always a little bit negative, some people don't age well.

I think people have more empathy for teenagers because they are young and haven't been through life whereas older people have. They know that life gets busy but they don't consider anyone else, they make so many demands and they aren't appreciate of things that are done for them. If someone has dementia then that is part of the disease and can't be helped, however it seems that if a person was a glass half empty kind of person that that will be exacerbated in later years.

There are so many options for elderly people. They can still make an effort but some of them choose not to.

+1. So well said. People age differently, and it wears some people down more than others. Some elderly people are lovely, while others are a nightmare.

+1

I often think that miserable, selfish, self centered people become moreso in old age, and pleasant people who have had a good life - or at least a good attitude, don't feel owed, and are much more pleasant to be around, in old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found it more like the lack of filters was gone. Whatever popped into my moms head, she said. Same is now happening with my MIL. Problem is so much is so negative and inappropriate and sometimes racist.

Nothing like an elderly parent with hearing aides and no filter who is racist. They spew the racism loudly in a public place and can't even hear how loud and horrible they are.

It's even better when they are in assisted living and most of the caregivers are non-white.

Or in hospital, my MIL said very loudly how dirty and useless the black nurses are, ok stupid considering they are the ones looking after you. Or the poor tea ladies that come in and she grunts at them that she wants coffee and then she doesn't even say thank you, just ignores them. They look so unimpressed by her.

I say thank you to them and smile, which they seem to appreciate.

I don't know what happens to their filters but this general attitude of not caring what others think can border on being cruel to others and this is probably why people have less tolerance to it. Getting old doesn't excuse you for everything.

I think in general though my MIL has always been slightly nasty, in her older years it is just more pronounced.[/quote]

+1

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My therapist says she can't get her elderly clients to change their appointment if a younger, working person needs to move theirs due to work or family responsibilities. The old folks say "I can't come at 11:30, that's when I eat my sandwich" or "that's when I cut my toenails" (the last one might be humor).

LOL. That's a fascinating anecdote. Here's my little example -- My aunt (still a great driver at 70) said she could not take my mom (age 75) to the airport (5 miles away) at 7:00 pm one evening because "that's when I take a shower."

Meh, I don't expect anyone to drive me to the airport and I would much rather take uber than have a 70 year old drive me or anyone. I just don't expect people to be my chauffeur. Everyone said my parents were still great drivers in their 70s. Uh, no they weren't.

Gee. Most of the 70 year old people that I know are fine to drive. 70 is not old unless you have some major health/mental issues.

Some people could never really drive safely, no matter their age - this is not something that "improves" as they get older. MIL should hav given up her license 40 years ago. In fact, I don't even think she started drvingin until she got married, so maybe she should have foregone it altogether, given her past driving "skills".

Most of the scary drivers out on the road are not elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened with my parents too. It so hard especially when you have your own kids and job. If you put yourself in the old persons shoes you'd likely be nasty too. First of all they are in pain, tired, on meds, not getting exercise or much fun. They are basically on death row and feel angry, scared, helpless, depressed, disconnected, dealing with a lot of personal losses.

Actually it doesn't happen to all elderly people. My Grandmother who lived to 97 was still very positive and involved in everyday topics. I never heard her say a bad word about anyone. As she lay dying in hospital and in pain, the only thing she said to me was that I was such a good girl for coming to see her, thank you and God Bless to me. Same as my Grandfather who lived to 78.

My other Grandfather was an old grouch but then he was for most of his mid to older years.

Life wears some people down, some people were always a little bit negative, some people don't age well.

I think people have more empathy for teenagers because they are young and haven't been through life whereas older people have. They know that life gets busy but they don't consider anyone else, they make so many demands and they aren't appreciate of things that are done for them. If someone has dementia then that is part of the disease and can't be helped, however it seems that if a person was a glass half empty kind of person that that will be exacerbated in later years.

There are so many options for elderly people. They can still make an effort but some of them choose not to.

+1. So well said. People age differently, and it wears some people down more than others. Some elderly people are lovely, while others are a nightmare.

+1

I often think that miserable, selfish, self centered people become moreso in old age, and pleasant people who have had a good life - or at least a good attitude, don't feel owed, and are much more pleasant to be around, in old age.

This.

[Anonymous]

Op this may be early dementia sign. They loose social cues and become self centered.