Do you stay friends with the families that bail for the suburbs

[Anonymous]

OP, I just want to offer my sympathies for you getting bagged on here. I’ve had two sets of friends move out of DC who suddenly claimed to hear gunshots all the time. At parties one couple would lecture their former neighbors about how dangerous the old neighborhood was. I also hear a lot from my suburban dwelling friends that they just love my DC home, neighborhood, car-free life, etc. but DCPS scares them to death. The implication seems to be that I am not making a responsible choice in choosing DCPS. All of it does feel judgemental, even if people are just being clumsy in the way they’re phrasing their opinions.

[Anonymous]

Wait: but you feel free to judge others for making the best choice for their family?

Realistically when people move 45min away you see them only rarely. But why judge them for moving? Especially when you don’t want to be judged. Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This bagging on making friends with other parents is crazy to me. We have made so many wonderful friendships with other parents we have met through our kids’ activities. And how else is one expected to make friends as a parent of young children? I have lots of wonderful friends from high school, college, previous jobs, etc. but they live all over the world. I love seeing them, but I also love sharing the trenches with our DC parent friends. Many of these people will be keepers for life no matter where they go. But I imagine that they are also good enough friends that we will have heart to heart talks about their decisions to move to the suburbs, go private, etc.

/shrug. Maybe they feel the same way, maybe they don’t. I enjoy a lot of my kids’ friends’ parents, but out of all of them, there are maybe two families that will be forever friends. Also, how old are your children? In the early elementary days it seems like you’re sharing everything. When the time comes for middle school and high school, people make their own decisions, often privately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is DCPS < FCPS?

Is DCPS < MCPS?

RE MCPS -- it depends on where in MCPS you live.

DCPS has WOTP vs EOTP/EOTR and MCPS has western, northern vs. eastern and parts of the county. Similar patterns with some exceptions (both for DCPS and MCPS) here and there.

One difference is that MCPS has an affirmative strategy to staff its Title 1 schools differently -- lower teacher-student ratios, more support staff in Title 1 and higher in the rest. It can mean (not always) significantly higher elementary school class sizes than in DCPS. Another is that there is no Pk3 or Pk4.

Biggest difference are, even in the “lower” ranked in APS, FCPS, LCPS, HCPS and MCPS is the curriculum versus DCPS. Even the lower ranked schools in the burbs are going to be comparable to DCPS or better. DCPS has openly & repeatedly stated and shown their priority is for the achievement gap and those students (who make up the majority of its population) need it. DCPS is right to focus their energies on the achievement gap because those children need it as they make up 3/4 of the school system demographics. Suburban school systems actually put students into tracks, but they have a new term it’s called differentiating.

[Anonymous]

OP why are you sacrificing your kids on the altar of political correctness

just move already lol

[Anonymous]

The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

That is almost everyone I know in DC. They have all moved here from some Midwestern or Southern state. It is interesting that DC doesn't attract more east coast or west coast peoples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

That is almost everyone I know in DC. They have all moved here from some Midwestern or Southern state. It is interesting that DC doesn't attract more east coast or west coast peoples.

It is a state school thing, good enough for the gov, not good enough for the great cities jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

That is almost everyone I know in DC. They have all moved here from some Midwestern or Southern state. It is interesting that DC doesn't attract more east coast or west coast peoples.

It is a state school thing, good enough for the gov, not good enough for the great cities jobs

meow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

That is almost everyone I know in DC. They have all moved here from some Midwestern or Southern state. It is interesting that DC doesn't attract more east coast or west coast peoples.

It is a state school thing, good enough for the gov, not good enough for the great cities jobs

Describing yourself PP? If not, what's your excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

That is almost everyone I know in DC. They have all moved here from some Midwestern or Southern state. It is interesting that DC doesn't attract more east coast or west coast peoples.

It is a state school thing, good enough for the gov, not good enough for the great cities jobs

As someone who does hiring with the federal government, I got a good laugh out of this. Don't know much about the government, huh PP? It's OK, most people don't. Then they complain when they can't get a fed job, despite taking a big pay cut from the private sector because too many more qualified candidates are willing to take a bigger pay cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

That is almost everyone I know in DC. They have all moved here from some Midwestern or Southern state. It is interesting that DC doesn't attract more east coast or west coast peoples.

This is just you, PP. I'm from the Mid-West, but none of my friends are. We have friends from South America, Eastern and Western Europe, the Middle East, Texas, California, New York and Canada. You should get out more. Are you multilingual? Have you lived in multiple places? I speak 5 languages and have lived all over the US and in 5 other countries, and it really helps with meeting a diverse group of friends.

But hey, I'm just a boring guy from a square state, so feel free to disregard what I say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who are snobby about the suburbs are people who aren’t original to DC. They moved here from colorodo or Iowa or some square state and now trying to be so overkill on the urban vibe. We get it. You live in the city now Becky.

That is almost everyone I know in DC. They have all moved here from some Midwestern or Southern state. It is interesting that DC doesn't attract more east coast or west coast peoples.

This is just you, PP. I'm from the Mid-West, but none of my friends are. We have friends from South America, Eastern and Western Europe, the Middle East, Texas, California, New York and Canada. You should get out more. Are you multilingual? Have you lived in multiple places? I speak 5 languages and have lived all over the US and in 5 other countries, and it really helps with meeting a diverse group of friends.

But hey, I'm just a boring guy from a square state, so feel free to disregard what I say.

We always do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone jumping on OP?
It's common knowledge (based on actual research) that you can have up to 20% "at risk" kids in classroom before the quality of the experience goes down for all.
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want my kids to be a minority in a class of all at risk kids. And yet OP is getting reamed by score of people who have abandoned all diversity
and moved to suburbia for classrooms of entirely white and/or non-at-risk kids.
Hypocritical much?

I work in the trenches of DC with at risk families every day as a social worker for a Medicaid plan. I'm in and out of these homes (and hotels and shelters) and I love these kids. But I wouldn't put my kids in a 10 or 20% minority with them day-in and day-out. Their needs are so great there is no way on earth they can begin to begin to be met in a classroom. I honestly don't know how many of the city schools even function. As such, my kids attend DCPS schools with a bit more balance (we're talking 25-50% of kids are from significantly lower economic status households). It is incredibly important for me that my kids learn shoulder to shoulder with kids from all walks of life in Washington but I see the incredible value of having a mix of economic backgrounds in a classroom.

That is just not correct. Suburban schools are not monolithic. DC schools tend to lack diversity—either mostly white or mostly of color. Some suburban schools are much more diverse. Check out in MCPS the Silver Spring elementary schools, for instance. Or the high schools in the DCC.

OP cannot see the irony that she is judging people who moved while complaining that they judge her for staying.

She is assuming a lot, as are you. People are making the best choice they can for their families and do not owe it to their current DCPS to stay if they feel another school (whether suburban public, DC charter, DCPS out of bounds, or private) meets their children’s needs better.

[Anonymous]

The leftover parents can provide a diverse experience and invite you to section 8 projects for a cultural experience