Do you stay friends with the families that bail for the suburbs

[Anonymous]

Of course. Friendship is friendship. One of my best friends lives in Denmark. We're lucky to see each other every 2 or 3 years.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I don’t think it’s possible to be any more stereotypical DC...self-absorbed, haughty, judgmental, deeply insecure, hypocritical. Everyone is just trying to do the best for their families. The vast majority of people are just trying to get through the day. Nobody needs your BS idealist strings-attached “friendship.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest is starting 5th grade and lost 2 of his close friends this summer out of his class as their parents made the jump to “better school systems”. Others are talking about about doing the same next year. We are committed to sticking it out and bringing about the change the other families feel didn’t come fast enough on the Hill but I can’t help but feel that they are abandoning the community and us to the point they are part of the problem with the middle schools. We went to one of their BBQs up in Bethesda last week and had to sit there while they raved about how much better it was and others changed the conversation when we told that we were stying. I couldn’t help but feel every brag was a shot at us.

Considering that kids drift away, I just want to cut the ties and focus on the families that share our values but how do you explain that to kids who simply don’t grasp the bigger issues?

You lost me when with your holier than thou "we are committed" good luck to you. The recent articles in the post about kids just playing cards all days because there were so many subs at stuart hobson? thats terrible parenting if you have a choice and put up with that. I lived on the hill in the 90s. You are nothing special OP. Every parent things their cohort will be the one to flip the school. And lets be real thats exactly what you want or need to happen. Once SH and EH are all IB with cap hill kids they will be the best in the City. those parents don't care about you and aren't bragging but if they are in Bethesda, then hell yes the middle school options are 1,000 times better. Especially for advanced kids. In DC the problem is we compare one bad school to another and think if 20% of kids get 4s on PARCCS thats awesome cause in IB kids only got %5. this is not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not stay friends with you because you sound super competitive and insecure.

And extremely judgy. How dare those parents seek out the best possible opportunities for their children!

[Anonymous]

OP, I know people are giving you a hard time but honestly I think what you’re seeing here is both parents insecurities playing out. The parents in Bethesda know you judge them for leaving and it’s a decision I’m sure they struggled with. And many of us spend a lot of (far too much) time wondering if we’re doing the right thing, making the right choice for our child and also, how our choices impact others in the community if were in a place of privilege. So as a result subconsciously you might see those insecurities play out. They don’t want you to think of them as the suburb folks who sold out (which you do so they aren’t off base) so they talk about the good things up there. I’m one of the suburb parents and I definitely have this feeling sometimes with my friends that live in the city (though I never say our schools are “so great”, ever).

I do understand your frustration and from a social justice perspective it’s a huge problem, you aren’t wrong. But the brags come from a place of insecurity just like your reaction to it does. It’s not personal. As for your kids, those relationships will fade.

[Anonymous]

You sound resentful that they didn't want to subject their kids to a poor education. They value education more that being a gentrifying force. You should get your priorities straight and follow their lead for your kids sake.

[Anonymous]

DC school kids may fall so far behind that they will never catch up and that will determine their college and career options for the rest of their lives. Your friend have realized it before you and moved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest is starting 5th grade and lost 2 of his close friends this summer out of his class as their parents made the jump to “better school systems”. Others are talking about about doing the same next year. We are committed to sticking it out and bringing about the change the other families feel didn’t come fast enough on the Hill but I can’t help but feel that they are abandoning the community and us to the point they are part of the problem with the middle schools. We went to one of their BBQs up in Bethesda last week and had to sit there while they raved about how much better it was and others changed the conversation when we told that we were stying. I couldn’t help but feel every brag was a shot at us.

Considering that kids drift away, I just want to cut the ties and focus on the families that share our values but how do you explain that to kids who simply don’t grasp the bigger issues?

What’s the problem? Aren’t there other kids in his class? Families move all the time in this area; kids make new close friends. Do you expect people to stay put to provide your children with “acceptable” friends?

[Anonymous]

As a DC native who has moved in and out of the city multiple times, your logic is flawed. I get it, you think you own the city because you are making “it work” with your rich whiteness. Trust me, the city will go on if you move to MD.

Also, you aren’t a friend. You may want to look up the definition.

[Anonymous]

I find that I stay to connected to parents who move to the burbs (and WotP) IF the families were close to us during their DC years, IF they make an effort to keep up with us, and IF they don't subject us to emotional put-downs us for staying EotP.

In these relationships, from time to find I find myself politely challenging hints that newly-minted little suburbanites are getting a vastly superior education to ours. For example, I point out that we're realized how lucky we are to live a 2-minute walk from an excellent public library along with a 3-minute walk from the public middle school our children will attend. I also like to point out that my children's upper grades academic elementary school classes are generally taught by two teachers (one paid for by the PTA) in rooms with no more than 22 or 23 kids. I hear reports, particularly from MoCo, of a single teacher contending with up to 30 kids in the public elementary schools these families fled to, including in high-octane GT programs.

On a bright note, when I challenge, the reception I usually get is positive, along the lines of "Good for you for staying in the City despite the extra work involved to ensure that your kids get a great education." Fair enough, one surely has to work harder to make that happen in DC public schools than in those in tony suburbs. No point in being thinned-skinned when this is pointed out, or in failing to push back a little to point out that the big picture can be terrific for one's older DCPS student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest is starting 5th grade and lost 2 of his close friends this summer out of his class as their parents made the jump to “better school systems”. Others are talking about about doing the same next year. We are committed to sticking it out and bringing about the change the other families feel didn’t come fast enough on the Hill but I can’t help but feel that they are abandoning the community and us to the point they are part of the problem with the middle schools. We went to one of their BBQs up in Bethesda last week and had to sit there while they raved about how much better it was and others changed the conversation when we told that we were stying. I couldn’t help but feel every brag was a shot at us.

Considering that kids drift away, I just want to cut the ties and focus on the families that share our values but how do you explain that to kids who simply don’t grasp the bigger issues?

Can you define what these values are? Because they seem - flawed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find that I stay to connected to parents who move to the burbs (and WotP) IF the families were close to us during their DC years, IF they make an effort to keep up with us, and IF they don't subject us to emotional put-downs us for staying EotP.

In these relationships, from time to find I find myself politely challenging hints that newly-minted little suburbanites are getting a vastly superior education to ours. For example, I point out that we're realized how lucky we are to live a 2-minute walk from an excellent public library along with a 3-minute walk from the public middle school our children will attend. I also like to point out that my children's upper grades academic elementary school classes are generally taught by two teachers (one paid for by the PTA) in rooms with no more than 22 or 23 kids. I hear reports, particularly from MoCo, of a single teacher contending with up to 30 kids in the public elementary schools these families fled to, including in high-octane GT programs.

On a bright note, when I challenge, the reception I usually get is positive, along the lines of "Good for you for staying in the City despite the extra work involved to ensure that your kids get a great education." Fair enough, one surely has to work harder to make that happen in DC public schools than in those in tony suburbs. No point in being thinned-skinned when this is pointed out, or in failing to push back a little to point out that the big picture can be terrific for one's older DCPS student.

You sound insecure. Who cares...do the best for your family and don’t spend so much time arguing about it.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the downside of gentrification. This is also why is it is so much cheaper to buy EOTP than WOTP. The housing market says your pain is about 150-250k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the downside of gentrification. This is also why is it is so much cheaper to buy EOTP than WOTP. The housing market says your pain is about 150-250k.

And a 4th bedroom

[Anonymous]

I hope you are reading this op and are realizing what a self righteous asshole you are. With a superior attitude like this you’ll be lucky if you have any friends.