Would you punish college son or daughter for getting fired from summer internship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have bigger problems than punishment. What is the root of this behavior?

Problematic early childhood.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Depends on reason.

Fired for cause, or laid off because not enough work available etc?

Fired for cause.

I would sure a hell make sure the young adult understands fully how to do better in the future, and how this could have long-reaching consequences. Hopefully it's low stakes, but when I've had lackluster intern, I've declined to serve as a reference and I've also made a note about their eligibility for re-hire within a company. Hopefully this was low-stakes, but a teachable event :/ How is your young adult reacting? Does s/he understand what happened? Was it truly egregious, or... employer could over-react also, and an intern is easier to fire than to put resources into training better, so if it were an honest mistake, lack of knowledge, not asking for help instead of trying something... versus showing up for work drunk, surfing the internet all day, propositioning a boss...

I suspect it was showing up drunk or absenteeism but I have legitimately no idea. It could be anything. Child doesn’t know we know, yet.

Is this OP? OP, if you think your child showed up drunk to work, or was so hung over he or she could not show up, you need to be thinking about how to get them help for their addiction, not "punishing" them.

It seems like there are a ton of relevant details here that you are leaving out, starting with why "drunk" is your go to assumption.

If you think your kid has a drinking problem, worry about that. The internship is nothing compared to the underlying problem.

Addictions are the devil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would send him to pack groceries or stock shelves daily.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How can you get fired from an internship? We get a lot of summer interns but I have never seen anyone getting fired. Sex in the office? Getting drunk in the office? Drug??

I've had to deal with some real dud interns, but never fired any of them. Been sorely tempted, but just remind myself they are leaving at the end of the summer and I never have to deal with them again. So I, too, am wonder what exactly OP's kid did to get fired!

Same at my large IT consulting firm. I’ve never heard of an intern being fired - just not offered a position at the end of their internship. I think you’d have to do something pretty bad to get fired along the lines of breaching client data, stealing, falsely recording work hours, etc.

I heard that the intern who added golf clubs and a second eagle head to the US Seal... that intern got fired.

It wasn’t an intern. The image was out on the internet. Designed by an adult (never Trump Republican). Intern who didn’t notice it was the wrong seal did get fired. WaPo published this the other day.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

The firing is punishment.

I would insist they get a job and not sit home playing video games.

If the only jobs available are low wage fast food jobs, so be it. But he must have a job by X date or you stop paying for phone, car, etc.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I cannot stop laughing at this. What kind of person considers “punishing” an adult? I have grown kids. In a million years, punishment never would have entered my mind once they graduated from high school. Truly, I weep for the future.

If they are adults, then they are self-supporting and do not rely on you for money, housing, food, or other necessities.

If they do rely on you for those things, then they are not adults, and are subject to your discipline. If they don't like it, they can get a job and move out.

Dp. Is life always black and white for you? Just because you are the age of an adult does not mean you don't need support. Now if we wete talking about a thirty old that would be a different story.

Someone who is the age of an adult, but needs support, should understand, without even being told, that the support is provided with certain expectations, and if those expectations are not met, the support may be withdrawn.

If you are the pp that is not what you originally wrote. Given advance warning and expectations is fair.

It is totally consistent with what I originally wrote.

But to repeat: you should not even have to tell an adult whom you are supporting that you expect them not to act like an irresponsible fckup, and that your support is intended to bridge the gap between "totally dependent on you" and "totally independent from you". And you should not even have to tell an adult whom you are supporting that if they do act like an irresponsible fckup, your support may be withdrawn.

There is no need to be "fair" with an adult child. Fairness is for five-year olds, not college students. If they don't already know that life isn't fair, it is well past time that they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:How can you get fired from an internship? We get a lot of summer interns but I have never seen anyone getting fired. Sex in the office? Getting drunk in the office? Drug??

I've had to deal with some real dud interns, but never fired any of them. Been sorely tempted, but just remind myself they are leaving at the end of the summer and I never have to deal with them again. So I, too, am wonder what exactly OP's kid did to get fired!

Same at my large IT consulting firm. I’ve never heard of an intern being fired - just not offered a position at the end of their internship. I think you’d have to do something pretty bad to get fired along the lines of breaching client data, stealing, falsely recording work hours, etc.

I heard that the intern who added golf clubs and a second eagle head to the US Seal... that intern got fired.

I think so did the "intern" who faked the Asiana Air's pilots names.

[Anonymous]

From my window I can see these two boys (summer interns) coming to work. Coming in later and later each morning (almost at 10 this morning). I am much older but I really have no clue why they think it’s ok or if they think no one notices them coming in so late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't being fired, not being able to put this experience on their resume, not getting the income, enough?

I would discuss it as a learning experience, and be happy it was fired from an internship and not fired from a first job. Tell kid to buckle down and get a job for the rest of the summer.

No, it isn't enough. Firing, along with mediocre grades, means there are larger problems. OP needs to sit the kid down and have a "Come to Jesus" moment. Lay out the terms for your continued financial support in a contract. Access to his grades online, a meeting with OP at the end of the first quarter, a certain realistic GPA, etc. This semester would be "on probation" in our family. And perhaps requiring that he gets a paying job during the semester, so that he gets a taste of what supporting himself without a college degree would look like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my window I can see these two boys (summer interns) coming to work. Coming in later and later each morning (almost at 10 this morning). I am much older but I really have no clue why they think it’s ok or if they think no one notices them coming in so late.

Maybe the person they work with comes in late and stays late. The partner I worked with straight out of school came in at around 10 and stayed late. I'm a morning person and would have been happy getting in at 7 and leaving earlier. It made no sense for me to do that because he still expected me to stay as late as he did. I ended up going to the gym and doing other personal things in the morning as doing them after work was hard when I was expected to stay late everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have bigger problems than punishment. What is the root of this behavior?

Problematic early childhood.

I imagine that was OP responding. What was done to mitigate the issues? Is he getting back at you with bad grades and non-performance at work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my window I can see these two boys (summer interns) coming to work. Coming in later and later each morning (almost at 10 this morning). I am much older but I really have no clue why they think it’s ok or if they think no one notices them coming in so late.

People’s true character always reveals itself after a while. Those kids have “checked out” and can’t wait to get a head start on the last summer bashes, welcome week and tailgate season. Were offers (and non offers) already given out?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Assuming intern could have prevented it, use it as opportunity to figure out what’s going wrong and why. Be happy you have the chance to help teach before it’s a job with funds necessary for living. Don’t be punitive, be helpful.

+1

Unless the student somehow deliberately got themselves fired, the firing is punishment enough. Time to figure out how to help them for when it counts a lot more.

How exactly is that punishment enough?

Because they lost their job, source of income, experience for resume, and reference?

How is this a question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my window I can see these two boys (summer interns) coming to work. Coming in later and later each morning (almost at 10 this morning). I am much older but I really have no clue why they think it’s ok or if they think no one notices them coming in so late.

And yet there you are, pretending like you’re working.