Would you punish college son or daughter for getting fired from summer internship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can you get fired from an internship? We get a lot of summer interns but I have never seen anyone getting fired. Sex in the office? Getting drunk in the office? Drug??

I've had to deal with some real dud interns, but never fired any of them. Been sorely tempted, but just remind myself they are leaving at the end of the summer and I never have to deal with them again. So I, too, am wonder what exactly OP's kid did to get fired!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Presumably being fired is punishment enough, but we don’t punish adult offspring generally.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot stop laughing at this. What kind of person considers “punishing” an adult? I have grown kids. In a million years, punishment never would have entered my mind once they graduated from high school. Truly, I weep for the future.

If they are adults, then they are self-supporting and do not rely on you for money, housing, food, or other necessities.

If they do rely on you for those things, then they are not adults, and are subject to your discipline. If they don't like it, they can get a job and move out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might as well be supportive. [Heck, why not, the OP has overindulged this kid in the past, why bother to change things now.]
Interns are adults. [If they depend on their parents, then no they are not.]
You could withdraw funding and housing but if it’s a serious problem do you really want to go there ? [Yeah just do nothing until the "adult" child is an alcoholic unemployable bum living permanently in your basement, what could go wrong?]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Presumably being fired is punishment enough, but we don’t punish adult offspring generally.

Agree

Yes we do generally punish adult offspring who are completely financially dependent on us and can't hold up their end of the bargain for continued financial support. Again, feel free to call it handing out consequences, but we don't just shrug and move one. We also shouldn't act as enablers by pretending that these adults have no control over their actions so should get a pass because being fired is "punishment enough."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot stop laughing at this. What kind of person considers “punishing” an adult? I have grown kids. In a million years, punishment never would have entered my mind once they graduated from high school. Truly, I weep for the future.

If they are adults, then they are self-supporting and do not rely on you for money, housing, food, or other necessities.

If they do rely on you for those things, then they are not adults, and are subject to your discipline. If they don't like it, they can get a job and move out.

Dp. Is life always black and white for you? Just because you are the age of an adult does not mean you don't need support. Now if we wete talking about a thirty old that would be a different story.

Pp ask yourself this. Don't you want to guide your young adult? Do you want a relationship in the future? I'm sure if the student was writing most posters would recommend cutting you out of their lives. Is that what you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot stop laughing at this. What kind of person considers “punishing” an adult? I have grown kids. In a million years, punishment never would have entered my mind once they graduated from high school. Truly, I weep for the future.

If they are adults, then they are self-supporting and do not rely on you for money, housing, food, or other necessities.

If they do rely on you for those things, then they are not adults, and are subject to your discipline. If they don't like it, they can get a job and move out.

Seemed obvious OP was alluding to college tuition, room & board purse strings in punishment. Big checks to write for a bum who was just fired from a summer internship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can you get fired from an internship? We get a lot of summer interns but I have never seen anyone getting fired. Sex in the office? Getting drunk in the office? Drug??

I've had to deal with some real dud interns, but never fired any of them. Been sorely tempted, but just remind myself they are leaving at the end of the summer and I never have to deal with them again. So I, too, am wonder what exactly OP's kid did to get fired!

Same at my large IT consulting firm. I’ve never heard of an intern being fired - just not offered a position at the end of their internship. I think you’d have to do something pretty bad to get fired along the lines of breaching client data, stealing, falsely recording work hours, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard to say without any real info.

But at that age, natural consequences. What you should not do is protect your child from the natural consequences or fix it for them.

That means if they were making $$, you don't give them $$ because they got fired.

And IF they ask your advice, offer thoughts on things a person can do to make amends or fix things or how to handle things differently in the future. But again, you don't do those things for them. They do.

+100. Absolutely this.

[Anonymous]

I read a viral article last month about young kids ghosting current employers for better job offers. Something about avoiding face-to-face confrontation and lack of tact. Kids these days have no manners or soft skills.

[Anonymous]

I did fire a summer intern one summer. Girl could not get her act together to get into work any where close to on time (like she would show up after lunch when most of the office arrived between 8-9) would leave early or disappear. I counseled her, spoke to her sponsor/adviser and no change. She then complained she wasn't getting interesting work. No shit, you're never around. I got rid of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read a viral article last month about young kids ghosting current employers for better job offers. Something about avoiding face-to-face confrontation and lack of tact. Kids these days have no manners or soft skills.

I’ve been ghosted by plenty of employers. Young kids know what’s up and are playing the game better. Are these kids even being paid?

[Anonymous]

OP,

What are the details here behind the firing?
How do you know already?

It's hard to tell where you've responded or someone else is speculating.

If someone pulled strings for this internship, you and DH may have fallout. If something is wrong with your DC (depression, alcohol abuse, etc.), please set aside thoughts of punishment and look to therapy, solutions, and help. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

My DD has an internship. Last year hours were flexible, come in at 11am and leave at 7pm. Same lab with a few different people this year and hours are 10-5 with some flex available. The only intern who has ever been fired drove on campus for work and forgot about the gun he left in the trunk. Fired on the spot after a security sweep. Even the intern who threw a fit and demanded (and got) a new MacBook and then subsequently “lost” it in an uber, didn’t get fired.

[Anonymous]

Depends but probably yes. They would not be driving my car around to activities. I would not be giving them spending money. They would not be allowed to sleep all day and hang out all night. I know people say that the kid is an adult so you can’t punish him. However, if he lives in my house I can enforce rules. If he did not live with me then I obviously wouldn’t (couldn’t) do anything. It also depends on the reasons.