Would you punish college son or daughter for getting fired from summer internship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh. What? How does one “punish” a non minor? Was it earning money crucial towards college budget? If so make clear you are not going to make up that money and they need to find a new way to earn cash, stat.

Why did he or she get fired??

Say your child’s grades were already mediocre, then they’re fired from a freaking summer internship. Would you, I don’t know, be eager to write more tuition & room checks this fall and spring or is that out of the question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on reason.

Fired for cause, or laid off because not enough work available etc?

Fired for cause.

OK, but what kind of "cause". Repeatedly late? Drugs on job? Sexual misadventures on the desk? Didn't show up because of meth addiction? What?

This is important to know. Why is your first thought about the type of punishment as opposed to helping your child to understand how they let themselves down, how to improve, and move forward?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming intern could have prevented it, use it as opportunity to figure out what’s going wrong and why. Be happy you have the chance to help teach before it’s a job with funds necessary for living. Don’t be punitive, be helpful.

+1

Unless the student somehow deliberately got themselves fired, the firing is punishment enough. Time to figure out how to help them for when it counts a lot more.

How exactly is that punishment enough?

[Anonymous]

OP, your framing of the question, plus paucity of relevant facts, suggest you need to do some thinking about what's going on with your DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on reason.

Fired for cause, or laid off because not enough work available etc?

Fired for cause.

OK, but what kind of "cause". Repeatedly late? Drugs on job? Sexual misadventures on the desk? Didn't show up because of meth addiction? What?

How would a parent know the context? You won’t. You just know your child was fired for cause. Anything they tell you after that is probably a lie.

[Anonymous]

How does one “punish” a non minor?

Um, obviously, the kid is in college and the OP is paying for everything, and moreover the kid is probably living at home for free, so there are many, many ways for the OP to make her displeasure known if she so chooses.

If the kid is living by himself and paying his own way, then you have no leverage, but in that case, getting fired and not having money to pay his own way is the punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on reason.

Fired for cause, or laid off because not enough work available etc?

Fired for cause.

I would sure a hell make sure the young adult understands fully how to do better in the future, and how this could have long-reaching consequences. Hopefully it's low stakes, but when I've had lackluster intern, I've declined to serve as a reference and I've also made a note about their eligibility for re-hire within a company. Hopefully this was low-stakes, but a teachable event :/ How is your young adult reacting? Does s/he understand what happened? Was it truly egregious, or... employer could over-react also, and an intern is easier to fire than to put resources into training better, so if it were an honest mistake, lack of knowledge, not asking for help instead of trying something... versus showing up for work drunk, surfing the internet all day, propositioning a boss...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh. What? How does one “punish” a non minor? Was it earning money crucial towards college budget? If so make clear you are not going to make up that money and they need to find a new way to earn cash, stat.

Why did he or she get fired??

Say your child’s grades were already mediocre, then they’re fired from a freaking summer internship. Would you, I don’t know, be eager to write more tuition & room checks this fall and spring or is that out of the question?

I would not write the checks upfront. I would let child take loans and pay them when I saw the grades were satisfactory at the end of the term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your framing of the question, plus paucity of relevant facts, suggest you need to do some thinking about what's going on with your DC.

It’s challenging because folks think I, or any parent, would be privy to what a college aged child does at a corporate internship. I nor you would have any idea what led to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh. What? How does one “punish” a non minor? Was it earning money crucial towards college budget? If so make clear you are not going to make up that money and they need to find a new way to earn cash, stat.

Why did he or she get fired??

Say your child’s grades were already mediocre, then they’re fired from a freaking summer internship. Would you, I don’t know, be eager to write more tuition & room checks this fall and spring or is that out of the question?

DP Ask yourself this. Do you want your kid living on the streets or do you want to help them get launched into life? Find out why there is mediocre grades and why they got fired and then help them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on reason.

Fired for cause, or laid off because not enough work available etc?

Fired for cause.

I would sure a hell make sure the young adult understands fully how to do better in the future, and how this could have long-reaching consequences. Hopefully it's low stakes, but when I've had lackluster intern, I've declined to serve as a reference and I've also made a note about their eligibility for re-hire within a company. Hopefully this was low-stakes, but a teachable event :/ How is your young adult reacting? Does s/he understand what happened? Was it truly egregious, or... employer could over-react also, and an intern is easier to fire than to put resources into training better, so if it were an honest mistake, lack of knowledge, not asking for help instead of trying something... versus showing up for work drunk, surfing the internet all day, propositioning a boss...

I suspect it was showing up drunk or absenteeism but I have legitimately no idea. It could be anything. Child doesn’t know we know, yet.

[Anonymous]

What year is this kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on reason.

Fired for cause, or laid off because not enough work available etc?

Fired for cause.

I would sure a hell make sure the young adult understands fully how to do better in the future, and how this could have long-reaching consequences. Hopefully it's low stakes, but when I've had lackluster intern, I've declined to serve as a reference and I've also made a note about their eligibility for re-hire within a company. Hopefully this was low-stakes, but a teachable event :/ How is your young adult reacting? Does s/he understand what happened? Was it truly egregious, or... employer could over-react also, and an intern is easier to fire than to put resources into training better, so if it were an honest mistake, lack of knowledge, not asking for help instead of trying something... versus showing up for work drunk, surfing the internet all day, propositioning a boss...

I suspect it was showing up drunk or absenteeism but I have legitimately no idea. It could be anything. Child doesn’t know we know, yet.

I imagine you helped dc get this internship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh. What? How does one “punish” a non minor? Was it earning money crucial towards college budget? If so make clear you are not going to make up that money and they need to find a new way to earn cash, stat.

Why did he or she get fired??

Say your child’s grades were already mediocre, then they’re fired from a freaking summer internship. Would you, I don’t know, be eager to write more tuition & room checks this fall and spring or is that out of the question?

So only non mediocre students get a college degree?

[Anonymous]

I would send him to pack groceries or stock shelves daily.