Do public school parents feel superior to private school ones?

[Anonymous]

(Harvard graduate wants to know.)

[Anonymous]

Wait, back to what this thread is about....who am I superior to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know this could be a separate thread. When and how should a Harvard graduate bring up their college without pissing off the rest of the world.

I went to Penn. Loud and proud (maybe because I always thought it was a great school, but simultaneously it had the reputation for being the worst of the Ivies...untrue I think). Anyway, what I would point out is that you probably wouldn't even REMEMBER the circumstances under which a person from Podunk U said where they went to school. Zero scrutiny. But, in some defense of the Harvard person, there's just no good way to announce it. If they come out all proud and say they went to Harvard, it was the best school and they loved it, they learned so much there, you're going to come back and say they're arrogant. If they shy away and then drop the H bomb, as some of you have called it, then they are so full of themselves they imagine everyone will be in shock if they tell people their college. Do you tell everyone else how to announce their college? Anyway, not criticizing you really, just saying it has to be hard going to Harvard.

How about just saying "I went to Harvard" matter of factly? You don't have to "come out all proud" or use false modesty. The only reason anyone should be providing this information is if asked. And if someone asks you where you went to school and you went to Harvard (or Yale or Princeton), just tell them. If that makes the listener insecure, then that's his/her problem. I work in a profession where tons of my colleagues went to Harvard, Yale, Stanford, etc. None of them shy away from admitting it because they realize that it's really not that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Or should I say...to whom am I superior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about just saying "I went to Harvard" matter of factly? You don't have to "come out all proud" or use false modesty. The only reason anyone should be providing this information is if asked. And if someone asks you where you went to school and you went to Harvard (or Yale or Princeton), just tell them. If that makes the listener insecure, then that's his/her problem. I work in a profession where tons of my colleagues went to Harvard, Yale, Stanford, etc. None of them shy away from admitting it because they realize that it's really not that big of a deal.

That's a fine approach for work colleagues who are unlikely to make negative assumptions about you from your college. However, if a relative stranger asks me where I went to school, I feel differently. And I must admit that if I get the sense that the stranger is doing that obnoxious resume-check thing, then I get some secret gratification out of denying her the satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

16:32 again. Also, what's wrong with actual modesty? Don't assume that all modesty is false. What's that nice quotation about being quiet about your successes, and forthright about your failures?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:32 again. Also, what's wrong with actual modesty? Don't assume that all modesty is false. What's that nice quotation about being quiet about your successes, and forthright about your failures?

Hear ye, hear ye. I really value's my father's sense of humility and modesty - not false at all. Modesty is not a vintage virtue.

[Anonymous]

To answer this question, check out the "wrong crowd" thread. Private school parents are arguing that private school is better because public kids are all druggies that their own offspring shouldn't be associating with.

This seems like a typical DCUM thread -- somebody taking a victim's position, then everybody piles on and beats up on public school parents. You go!

[Anonymous]

'Douchebag' has also morphed into 'douche nozzle,' particularly among my public schooled, Podunk U friends.

On that note, my Ivy-grad FIL referred to my alma mater as "Horseshoe U." as a way of shorthand. Nice, huh?

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm. . . I guess this thread explains people's insistence on knowing what school when I say I went to school in Boston -- and no, it wasn't Harvard. Not even close.



That's ok, I've supervised a lot of Harvard grads, so maybe that's close.

[Anonymous]

I don't get your post. It's like you're saying, "I can say I'm from Boston because I didn't go to Harvard, I went to Podunk, so I'm not arrogant saying Boston," which is fine, except then you say you supervised grad students from Harvard. So frankly, you're just as big of a windbag. Can't resist the temptation to say you measure up, Harvard-style, in some way.

which in my book is perfectly logical...

Because Harvard is a fantastic school.

[Anonymous]

Public school parent here.

I feel superior to people who choose private school for the following reasons:

1) If they chose private schools because they are motivated by fear: my child isn't dangerous, unruly, or part of any sort of "wrong crowd".
2) If they chose private school because they "everybody says DCPS, MCPS, fill in ________" is terrible, yet they did no research themselves.
3) If they did it because they were concerned about getting their child into the right college (hello, let your kids choose!)

I do not feel superior at all when people choose private schools because:

1) They can afford something nicer than the current choices.
2) They have a child with particular needs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public school parent here.

I feel superior to people who choose private school for the following reasons:

1) If they chose private schools because they are motivated by fear: my child isn't dangerous, unruly, or part of any sort of "wrong crowd".
2) If they chose private school because they "everybody says DCPS, MCPS, fill in ________" is terrible, yet they did no research themselves.
3) If they did it because they were concerned about getting their child into the right college (hello, let your kids choose!)

I do not feel superior at all when people choose private schools because:

1) They can afford something nicer than the current choices.
2) They have a child with particular needs

DCPS/Private school parent here. This pp says it all for me! Nicely put, pp!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

Ha, I went to Harvard too and I don't agree with your comparison at all. Podunk U, whether it is Cal, Michigan, or UNC, may be a very fine school. I wouldn't assume that the "party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground." Podunk U may have been the person's choice.

I agree. And calling that (non-Ivy I'm guessing) school "Podunk U." kind of says it all.

[Anonymous]

Yup, there are good reasons and stupid reasons for choosing private school. And the stupid reasons are more often articulated on these boards than the good ones.