Do public school parents feel superior to private school ones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't mean to say that there is no recess, PE, music, etc. It is limited. Once a week for PE, etc for 45 mins. Recess is maybe once a day for 15 mins even for the little K kids. It is work all day even starting in K. Heavy emphasis on test prep, lots of dittos. Lots of busywork for homework. Most kids in our neighborhood hate going to school and can't wait to be finished or to have a day off. Not what I want for my son.

What district is it? MoCo? DC? Arlington?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't mean to say that there is no recess, PE, music, etc. It is limited. Once a week for PE, etc for 45 mins. Recess is maybe once a day for 15 mins even for the little K kids. It is work all day even starting in K. Heavy emphasis on test prep, lots of dittos. Lots of busywork for homework. Most kids in our neighborhood hate going to school and can't wait to be finished or to have a day off. Not what I want for my son.

What district is it? MoCo? DC? Arlington?

Really, where? I have seen this comment on several posts. I want to know where these schools are. Not our experience in Alexandria...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't mean to say that there is no recess, PE, music, etc. It is limited. Once a week for PE, etc for 45 mins. Recess is maybe once a day for 15 mins even for the little K kids. It is work all day even starting in K. Heavy emphasis on test prep, lots of dittos. Lots of busywork for homework. Most kids in our neighborhood hate going to school and can't wait to be finished or to have a day off. Not what I want for my son.

What district is it? MoCo? DC? Arlington?

Really, where? I have seen this comment on several posts. I want to know where these schools are. Not our experience in Alexandria...

I really think it's folklore.

[Anonymous]

It is in Howard County. I am amazed that there are schools that actually have specials like PE more than once a week. I know one magnet school in our county that proudly announced on the tour that they have PE TWICE a week. And the parents on the tour were quite impressed too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

Ha, I went to Harvard too and I don't agree with your comparison at all. Podunk U, whether it is Cal, Michigan, or UNC, may be a very fine school. I wouldn't assume that the "party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground." Podunk U may have been the person's choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is in Howard County. I am amazed that there are schools that actually have specials like PE more than once a week. I know one magnet school in our county that proudly announced on the tour that they have PE TWICE a week. And the parents on the tour were quite impressed too!

Interesting. I wonder what the experiences are in other publics in the area. I posted the FCPS experience. There, I was acutally surprised by how many specials the kids in FCPS have because I've heard how public schools have cut all of that out -- and friends from California told me their kids had virtually no specials.

What are other public schools in teh area like in this respect? Anyone?

(I know it's the private school forum, so maybe I should post it on the schoold general forum.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

Ha, I went to Harvard too and I don't agree with your comparison at all. Podunk U, whether it is Cal, Michigan, or UNC, may be a very fine school. I wouldn't assume that the "party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground." Podunk U may have been the person's choice.

Just have to chime in here, even though I know it is getting off-topic: I am a Cal graduate, and yes indeedy, I chose it over the three Ivies where I was admitted (all the ones I applied to). Received just as good of an education, and graduated with no student loans. (Would hardly characterize the "public Ivies" as "Podunk U," BTW. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

Ha, I went to Harvard too and I don't agree with your comparison at all. Podunk U, whether it is Cal, Michigan, or UNC, may be a very fine school. I wouldn't assume that the "party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground." Podunk U may have been the person's choice.

Just have to chime in here, even though I know it is getting off-topic: I am a Cal graduate, and yes indeedy, I chose it over the three Ivies where I was admitted (all the ones I applied to). Received just as good of an education, and graduated with no student loans. (Would hardly characterize the "public Ivies" as "Podunk U," BTW. )

So your answer to OP's question would be "YES"?

I agree it's pretty common to see people crowing about advantages of public schools over private, especially on DCUM. I guess it's their choice which school to choose. I attended both public and private as a child, and I learned lots more at private, so that where my kids will go. I don't really care what other people decide to do with their own kids. But I do get frustrated when I read public school parents criticizing/mocking the decisions of those who chose private. It's pretty obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

I think you are hitting upon the issue. There is a feeling I get with public school moms that they have the moral high ground in our conversations. Like morality is even involved. I'm not sending my kid to White Supremacist Day School, for God's sake.

[Anonymous]

We are also in Howard County, but have had a totally different experience... Arts have been pretty big, though not sure I can comment that much on PE... PP maybe it would be helpful to try to establish some type of music boosters program? I suppose a lot of this depends on teacher/administration support.

I will say I am intensely irritated at the lack of walkers! I want my child to walk, think it is part of the experience and good exercise, and getting other parents to let their children walk is way more difficult than it should be...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

I know so many people who went to Harvard (or who have children who go to Harvard) who feel compelled to do this: "I went to school in the North"; "I went to school in Boston"; etc. I don't get it. Do you think that going to Harvard is so totally impressive that you can't even utter the word "Harvard" because the listener just couldn't handle it? Trust me, people find it a lot more annoying when you intentionally avoid telling them you went to Harvard than you would by simply telling them you went to Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Both my children go to private school but i don't mind a little self-consciousness about not supporting the public schools. The fact is that if more of us sent our children to public school, the public schools would be better. And I do like the idea of supporting public institutions. I've made the choices I've made, and I don't feel guilt, I did what I felt was best for my children. But i also admire the parents who send their kids to public school. I have no problem if they feel a bit self-righteous.

Poor Harvard person is put upon by having to suck in her self-importance in the face of people who went to state schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my children go to private school but i don't mind a little self-consciousness about not supporting the public schools. The fact is that if more of us sent our children to public school, the public schools would be better. And I do like the idea of supporting public institutions. I've made the choices I've made, and I don't feel guilt, I did what I felt was best for my children. But i also admire the parents who send their kids to public school. I have no problem if they feel a bit self-righteous.

Poor Harvard person is put upon by having to suck in her self-importance in the face of people who went to state schools.

That last line is hilarious and I went to Harvard (though I often say "went to school in Boston" - some Harvard and Ivy alum just go ga-ga when meeting the brethren, so I prefer to obfuscate until I know the person)

[Anonymous]

I'm being completely honest when I tell you that the parents at child #1's public school have WAY more educated, IVY, advanced degree parents then the parents at DC #2's private school. The private school is full of two parent working types with lots of BAs and state college degrees (Virginia Schools, lots of southern schools etc.). The public school "pedigree" is far superior - I have always found this to be interesting and a little telling (I far prefer the private school parents too - so nice to be smart, interesting AND fun.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

I know so many people who went to Harvard (or who have children who go to Harvard) who feel compelled to do this: "I went to school in the North"; "I went to school in Boston"; etc. I don't get it. Do you think that going to Harvard is so totally impressive that you can't even utter the word "Harvard" because the listener just couldn't handle it? Trust me, people find it a lot more annoying when you intentionally avoid telling them you went to Harvard than you would by simply telling them you went to Harvard.

I think one reason people commonly obfuscate is not because they're afraid you cannot handle it, but rather because they're modest and don't want to be perceived as bragging. A lot of people will hear the name of a prestigious school, or a high-profile job, or even an expensive neighborhood, and will think that the speaker is bragging or name-dropping. I see that on DCUM all the time -- someone will mention her school/job/neighborhood/HHI in a totally non-bragging way, and people will accuse her of bragging and of thinking she's better than everyone else. People often make lots of unfair judgments about you based on a particularly school/job/neighborhood, and sometimes you want to avoid the judgments.

FOr example, if I meet someone at a party, and she makes conversation by asking "Where'd you go to school and what do you do?" I might answer "I went to Princeton, and I am the Deputy Secretary of Labor." Or else I can say "I went to school in New Jersey, and I work for the Department of Labor." I'm much more likely to use the second answer than the first. We don't know each other that well, and we're just making conversation, so there's no need to risk a negative judgment from you by giving too much detail that might seem like bragging.

PS - Don't think I'm whining about my school/job/neighborhood/HHI. None are particularly fancy (definitely not Princeton/DOL). Maybe more impressive than some, but less impressive than most others. I'm lucky to have what I do. I'm not complaining -- I'm just trying to explain the motivation for obfuscating.