Do public school parents feel superior to private school ones?

[Anonymous]

Well, I for one don't want my kids to be car wash attendants, and I want them to aim for a school that is good. Harvard good. Not Podunk good.


This is idiocy. The number of parents who have Ivy aspirations for their children exceeds the available slots many-fold, it's hard to put a number on it. Parents are fixated on this. It is terrible for children, parents put unrealistic pressure on teachers starting in pre-K. It is a neurosis. My child can go to Chapel Hill. I would be prouder than proud. Oh, the students I feel sorriest for are the children of Ivy alum who grow up thinking they have an edge but then they do not get in.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous
Oh, this is so painfully narrow. You are asking karma to come and smack you upside the head (a la, your kids will be car wash employees).

Obviously, Harvard is a great school, but you KNOW that does not equal happiness, self-fulfillment, or success, be it monetary or emotional. Harvard is NOT a predictor of anything, it only says you were ONCE smart enough to get in. Please say you know that.

My DH went to an Ivy. I went Podunk. He is, on paper, brilliant. I am, on paper, totally average. He is INCAPABLE of reading people and situations accurately. I am gifted at it. Guess who struggles more? The Ivy-leaguer, my friend. That does mean every Ivy leaguer struggles or vice versa, but your myopic view of education is alarming.

Get real people. First off, hmmm. Harvard is not a predictor of anything...Hmmm. Please tell me you know there is SOME correlation between Harvard and future income. Please say you know that. You may not care about money, but please tell me that you know that Harvard actually IS a predictor of something.

Second, while I value your information on your dumb DH, please tell me you know that that is referred to as an ANECDOTE. That in fact, you would need several more people before you would start to form conclusions. Please tell me your Podunk training has informed you that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=Anonymous
Oh, this is so painfully narrow. You are asking karma to come and smack you upside the head (a la, your kids will be car wash employees).

Obviously, Harvard is a great school, but you KNOW that does not equal happiness, self-fulfillment, or success, be it monetary or emotional. Harvard is NOT a predictor of anything, it only says you were ONCE smart enough to get in. Please say you know that.

My DH went to an Ivy. I went Podunk. He is, on paper, brilliant. I am, on paper, totally average. He is INCAPABLE of reading people and situations accurately. I am gifted at it. Guess who struggles more? The Ivy-leaguer, my friend. That does mean every Ivy leaguer struggles or vice versa, but your myopic view of education is alarming.

Get real people. First off, hmmm. Harvard is not a predictor of anything...Hmmm. Please tell me you know there is SOME correlation between Harvard and future income. Please say you know that. You may not care about money, but please tell me that you know that Harvard actually IS a predictor of something.


I am the one with the dumbass DH. Let me be the first to tell you that you are fucking bitch.
Second, while I value your information on your dumb DH, please tell me you know that that is referred to as an ANECDOTE. That in fact, you would need several more people before you would start to form conclusions. Please tell me your Podunk training has informed you that much.

[Anonymous]

I am the one with the dumbass DH. Let me be the first to tell you that you are fucking bitch.

Sorry. That is what I wanted to say to you. That is all. Didn't not mean to put it in the middle of the quote. Must be the podunk training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the one with the dumbass DH. Let me be the first to tell you that you are fucking bitch.

Sorry. That is what I wanted to say to you. That is all. Didn't not mean to put it in the middle of the quote. Must be the podunk training.

Must be. Agreed.

[Anonymous]

I just want to know, are you an immigrant to the U.S.? Are you Asian by any chance?

You're right. The school doesn't make a difference. Everyone is equal. Give every participant a blue ribbon. Let's not hurt anyone's feelings.

I suppose you are going to be jumping from the rafters to announce Jr. has decided to work at the car wash. That's just as good as being a doctor. No one cares if you're a doctor or a car wash attendant. Only jerks care.

Well, I for one don't want my kids to be car wash attendants, and I want them to aim for a school that is good. Harvard good. Not Podunk good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to know, are you an immigrant to the U.S.? Are you Asian by any chance?

I just want to know, are you a racist by any chance?

[Anonymous]

OK, I'm not the poster with the Ivy league husband, but here's a study to chew on.

http://www.irs.princeton.edu/pubs/pdfs/409.pdf

If you turn to page 32 of the PDF, you will see that this study agrees that the higher Barron's ranking of the college someone attended does correlate with higher income, even after adjusting for the characteristics of the individuals involved. The effect was largest for individuals from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Of course the problem with this study (or any study that measures earning power over a long time) is that it is based entirely on data from the high school class of 1972. If you're making the decision today for your preschool child, you can't know in advance if that child's college selection 15 or more years from now will increase earning power, you can only know what it did for people in the (way distant) past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the private school parents are apologetic, saying things like, "It was the best fit for our child" or "Public was simply not an option for us", and public school parents are really proud, saying things like, "We're definitely public school folks!"

Haven't had time to read the whole thread which appears to have morphed into some kind of fight but to address your opening statement: When dd was in DCPS I felt like I had to justify it all the time on DCUM. And I am annoyed at the blanket fear some people have of DCPS so maybe I've been snippy from time to time. But I'm also a firm believer in matching the school to the kid. Dd is now in private and it is the best thing for her but I'm glad she had all those years in DCPS. I don't feel apologetic at all but it is true I would have preferred to keep her in public if it had been a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I think all this talk about "fit" on DCUM is more pandering. I agree kids do better in some schools than others. That's obvious. But there is an obsessive need on this board to point that out everytime someone mentions...(do I really want to open this can?...) a Big 3 school.

[Anonymous]

But if you don't find a good FIT for your child, how can that child possibly THRIVE?!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But if you don't find a good FIT for your child, how can that child possibly THRIVE?!!!

Of course, I agree. The issue is this. There ARE better schools. There are schools with better teachers, with greater resources for learning, with stronger academics. But for some reason, on DCUM, anytime you mention that a school may be better, it is relentlessly countered with the 'fit' argument.

I get where people are going: parents, don't project your own goals (and insecurities) onto your kids. But honestly, we should be able to say that one school is stronger academically than another without the Fit Parade immediately marching in.

[Anonymous]

Why should anyone feel superior to the other based on where they went to school?

Anyone who does have this emotion and sensation had better keep it under wraps since it doesn't say much for one's character if this is emblazoned on one's chest ... particularly in today's culture.

I've attended both types of schools around the globe in both "developed" and "developing" countries.

At the end of the day, it is performance that counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're right. The school doesn't make a difference. Everyone is equal. Give every participant a blue ribbon. Let's not hurt anyone's feelings.

I suppose you are going to be jumping from the rafters to announce Jr. has decided to work at the car wash. That's just as good as being a doctor. No one cares if you're a doctor or a car wash attendant. Only jerks care.

Well, I for one don't want my kids to be car wash attendants, and I want them to aim for a school that is good. Harvard good. Not Podunk good.

This post made me laugh out loud for the first time today. Touche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At the end of the day, it is performance that counts.

Yes, that's why the most powerful members of our society are such exemplary models of intelligence and ethics. And why their personal fame and fortunes are so contingent on the success of the enterprises they manage.