Do public school parents feel superior to private school ones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're right. The school doesn't make a difference. Everyone is equal. Give every participant a blue ribbon. Let's not hurt anyone's feelings.

I suppose you are going to be jumping from the rafters to announce Jr. has decided to work at the car wash. That's just as good as being a doctor. No one cares if you're a doctor or a car wash attendant. Only jerks care.

Well, I for one don't want my kids to be car wash attendants, and I want them to aim for a school that is good. Harvard good. Not Podunk good.

What does this even mean? That there is Harvard, and then there is Podunk? That you either go to Harvard, or you are a Podunk-grad-car-wash-attendant?

WTF?

[Anonymous]

I never really understood why some people feel the need to apologize for personal decisions.

[Anonymous]

No -- the person wants their kid going to a great school in the top tier -- not some second or third tier school.

[Anonymous]

Maybe we should rename this one -

Do graduates of elite private colleges feel superior to those who attended colleges in the "Podunk U." league?

[Anonymous]

PP -- Don't be such sour grapes. I went to Podunk U. I didn't apply to anything but one school because I could only afford the local university. Having said that -- I did too poorly on the SATs to get into Harvard even if I had had the money. I have no animosity to people who went to better schools than me. I know I'm smart and so are they.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP -- Don't be such sour grapes. I went to Podunk U. I didn't apply to anything but one school because I could only afford the local university. Having said that -- I did too poorly on the SATs to get into Harvard even if I had had the money. I have no animosity to people who went to better schools than me. I know I'm smart and so are they.

Sour Grapes here -

I've taught kids who were STELLAR but b/c of finances couldn't afford to touch an ivy even with financial aid.

It's easy to brag about an ivy degree if you've got the money to back yourself up. Unfortunately, this is not the case for many students. So to hear people refer to certain colleges as Podunk U. is disparaging.

[Anonymous]

When I went to Harvard (as an undergrad), I was shocked to discover that most of the Harvard undergrads just weren't that exceptional.

re the Podunk U conment. I didn't make it, but I still think it was misinterpreted. From context, I thought it was more like "Anytown USA" -- a generic place-holder rather than a slam. The disparaging remarks about Podunk U came later and from other posters -- e.g. Ms. "Public Ivies" (attributing and then rebutting) and Ms. Car Wash Attendant (endorsing)).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

Ha, I went to Harvard too and I don't agree with your comparison at all. Podunk U, whether it is Cal, Michigan, or UNC, may be a very fine school. I wouldn't assume that the "party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground." Podunk U may have been the person's choice.

Earlier poster is correct it was original Harvard who expounded on what Podunk U meant -- a later Harvard expounded on it. At the time I went to college, I didn't consider my school to be "Podunk U" because that was my only choice. I still think it was a great place. To this day, it is only listed as an "Up and Comer" on US News & World Report. I think the message is is that if someone is smart enough and financial able enough to afford a top-tier Ivy or private school -- that is great. It doesn't mean if someone doesn't go there that they are destined to be second-class all of their lives. It just means they might have to work harder to be noticed by potential employers. Ivy grads might have to do a little less selling because of their school's great "brand". I still think Ivies are great and my kid goes to one. It thrills me that it is still possible in America to surpass one's parents.

[Anonymous]

But back to the original question on this board -- do public school parents feel superior to private school parents? I don't see why they would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP -- Don't be such sour grapes. I went to Podunk U. I didn't apply to anything but one school because I could only afford the local university. Having said that -- I did too poorly on the SATs to get into Harvard even if I had had the money. I have no animosity to people who went to better schools than me. I know I'm smart and so are they.

Sour Grapes here -

I've taught kids who were STELLAR but b/c of finances couldn't afford to touch an ivy even with financial aid.

It's easy to brag about an ivy degree if you've got the money to back yourself up. Unfortunately, this is not the case for many students. So to hear people refer to certain colleges as Podunk U. is disparaging.

Excellent point. And to be honest, after 7 years of private school I am not positive that we will be able to afford the tuition of private college, especially if we are called upon to also fund grad school. Combine the economic crisis with the fact that we had our children later in life, and the timing just plain sucks. <sigh>

[Anonymous]

The way I look at it, my college choice changed my life. But DC is growing up in that new life, so the stakes in DC's college choice are much lower than/different from what was at stake in my college decision. There's no shortage of colleges where you can get a great undergraduate education.

[Anonymous]

The answer to the orignal question is yes.

[Anonymous]

I think we all want to rationalize our choices as the best-- you can see evidence of that every day on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Excellent point. And to be honest, after 7 years of private school I am not positive that we will be able to afford the tuition of private college, especially if we are called upon to also fund grad school. Combine the economic crisis with the fact that we had our children later in life, and the timing just plain sucks. <sigh>

Yep -- told dd once she got into the private school she longed to attend that she will have to attend a state university -- especially because I do not want her to have heavy debt if/when she attends graduate school. Also, she talks about wanting lots of kids (we could only afford one) and I don't want her decision about how many kids to have to be affected by her level of debt (which deeply affected ours).

[Anonymous]

This is all so silly. My kids went to DCPS then to private for middle school. We don't love paying the tuition, but we can and so we do. We didn't ask anyone where their kids were going and didn't tell anyone where ours were going unless asked. I didn't feel at all apologetic and didn't look down on others' choices. I was however, a bit surprised to get some defensiveness/hostility from parents who were staying in public, but I figure that happens whenever people make different choices (see, e.g., the WOHM/SAHM debate). Anyway, I really don't care what choices others make for their kids and assume they are making the best choices they can. And I thank heavens every day that my mother raised me not to give a rat's ass about what other people think!
Really people, some of you have WAY too much invested in your children.