Do public school parents feel superior to private school ones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know so many people who went to Harvard (or who have children who go to Harvard) who feel compelled to do this: "I went to school in the North"; "I went to school in Boston"; etc. I don't get it. Do you think that going to Harvard is so totally impressive that you can't even utter the word "Harvard" because the listener just couldn't handle it? Trust me, people find it a lot more annoying when you intentionally avoid telling them you went to Harvard than you would by simply telling them you went to Harvard.

Agree completely. Even more annoying is when people refer to this as "dropping the H-bomb." Be matter of fact about your choices, and the listener will survive. Especially since there's no reason to say where you went to school unless someone is asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. I went to Harvard and I have lots of experience of smiling amiably while a casual acquaintance sings the praises of Podunk U, her alma mater, while I make vague comments about going North for school. It is just convention --- the party with less choice in schools gets the high moral ground, and the party with more choice gets to mumble self-deprecatory comments. Keeps conversation going. No real significance to it.

Are you serious? Podunk U?

I do believe superior is the perfect word to describe you.

[Anonymous]

But the kind of person who asks is generally the kind of person who cares and who makes a big deal out of it one way or another. So if you're not into that, it's a damned if you do (bragging), damned if you don't (false modesty/inflated sense of importance) situation.

Sample weird experience. Elementary school kids (9 y.o.s) at DC's school are talking about college on the playground. One opines that he plans to go to Harvard, asserting that Harvard is the best. "Really?" DC asks. "I think both my parents went there -- that's where they met. I didn't know it was supposed to be the best."

Group of kids then agrees that DC is full of shit because if your parents went to Harvard, you'd know for sure and you'd know it was the best and besides they wouldn't BOTH have gone to Harvard. DC comes home confused and a bit upset. Who needs this?

Or the law firm summer associate cocktail party where a partner's wife ragged on me for 15 minutes about taking the space that rightly belonged to her son with the gentlemanly C average in HS. Finally I just said "yeah, meritocracy's a bitch" and moved on, unclear whether I'd just killed DH's chance at an offer and whether that would be a good thing or a bad thing.

So, yeah, I'm wary of these kinds of conversations when they don't occur in a professional context or some other context where there's some immediate/practical relevance beyond someone's desire to establish a pecking order.

[Anonymous]

You know this could be a separate thread. When and how should a Harvard graduate bring up their college without pissing off the rest of the world.

I went to Penn. Loud and proud (maybe because I always thought it was a great school, but simultaneously it had the reputation for being the worst of the Ivies...untrue I think). Anyway, what I would point out is that you probably wouldn't even REMEMBER the circumstances under which a person from Podunk U said where they went to school. Zero scrutiny. But, in some defense of the Harvard person, there's just no good way to announce it. If they come out all proud and say they went to Harvard, it was the best school and they loved it, they learned so much there, you're going to come back and say they're arrogant. If they shy away and then drop the H bomb, as some of you have called it, then they are so full of themselves they imagine everyone will be in shock if they tell people their college. Do you tell everyone else how to announce their college? Anyway, not criticizing you really, just saying it has to be hard going to Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. All families are different. Kids have different learning and social needs. Be thankful we have some control over choosing the best school for our child and family. Be it public, private, or H-bomb.

[Anonymous]

If you still give a shit where you or anyone else went to university past the age of 30 there is something very wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you still give a shit where you or anyone else went to university past the age of 30 there is something very wrong with you.

Said like a true Podunk grad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you still give a shit where you or anyone else went to university past the age of 30 there is something very wrong with you.

Said like a true Podunk grad.

Wow, you're a charmer.

[Anonymous]

Where do you guys live that there is no recess, PE, art in the publics? My child is in FCPS. She has PE three times a week, art one (maybe 2 but I think one) time per week, Music one to two times per week, recess twice a day and Chinese two times a week. Sure, they teach to the test, but it hasn't been oppressive yet -- I may change my mind. BTW, my child is in 2nd grade and this is her first year in public. She seems to be learning much more this year than she was in private (in another city), but that may be a function of her hitting her stride so to speak.

I find the question posed kind of amusing because usually on this forum I find the private school parents always dogging on the public, not so much the other way around. I don't feel superior to private school parents (maybe because I've done both). I just felt that the publics here are so highly rated that we should give it a try before taking out what would be essentially a second mortgage to send our kids to private. It has been the right decision for us so far.

This is never the case in MCPS.

[Anonymous]

PE, art in the publics? My child is in FCPS. She has PE three times a week, art one (maybe 2 but I think one) time per week, Music one to two times per week, recess twice a day and Chinese two times a week. Sure, they teach to the test, but it hasn't been oppressive yet -- I may change my mind. BTW, my child is in 2nd grade and this is her first year in public.

But FCPS is not monolithic. My child is a third grader in FCPS. She has PE twice a week, art once a week, music once a week, computer lab once a week, Chinese twice a week and recess once a day (about 15-20 minutes). But the Chinese may go away next year since FLES and language immersion are currently on the block to be cut for next year. She has new PE teachers this year who are MUCH better. Last year they did a lot of lame things like bowling and shuffleboard (seriously?), but this year the new PE teachers are much, much better.

The teaching to the test REALLY starts in third grade because that is the year that they first take the SOLs. Although some schools are worse about this than others and I don't really have any issues with this yet. The excessive, mediocre homework assignments are another story....

But my understanding is that FCPS is still very lucky compared to many public school districts.

[Anonymous]

Oops, that should have been music twice a week....

[Anonymous]

Meritocracy's a bitch. I love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in a neighborhood with highly regarded schools-ES, MS and HS. I have chosen to send my son to private though. Not b/c there is anything wrong with the schools but b/c I choose not to have him be taught to the test. I couldn't care less about the testing mandated by NCLB so I went the private school route. The moms with kids my son's age understand why I did it and I think a lot of them wish they had too since they complain about the ES all the time from the lame overemphasis on worksheets to the lack of recess and PE, art, etc.

Where do you guys live that there is no recess, PE, art in the publics? My child is in FCPS. She has PE three times a week, art one (maybe 2 but I think one) time per week, Music one to two times per week, recess twice a day and Chinese two times a week. Sure, they teach to the test, but it hasn't been oppressive yet -- I may change my mind. BTW, my child is in 2nd grade and this is her first year in public. She seems to be learning much more this year than she was in private (in another city), but that may be a function of her hitting her stride so to speak.

I find the question posed kind of amusing because usually on this forum I find the private school parents always dogging on the public, not so much the other way around. I don't feel superior to private school parents (maybe because I've done both). I just felt that the publics here are so highly rated that we should give it a try before taking out what would be essentially a second mortgage to send our kids to private. It has been the right decision for us so far.

Good luck. My child stayed in FCPS from K-3, but the writing was on the wall by 3rd quarter 2nd grade that we needed to leave. We tried again for high school, but also decided to go back to private.

My husband and I did struggle with this decision both time as we both are proponents of a strong public school system. But despite all of the hype, IMO FCPS does not deliver. I am convinced that people who write policy for public schools haven't spent time in a public school since 1980.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a neighborhood with highly regarded schools-ES, MS and HS. I have chosen to send my son to private though. Not b/c there is anything wrong with the schools but b/c I choose not to have him be taught to the test. I couldn't care less about the testing mandated by NCLB so I went the private school route. The moms with kids my son's age understand why I did it and I think a lot of them wish they had too since they complain about the ES all the time from the lame overemphasis on worksheets to the lack of recess and PE, art, etc.

VTS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

VTS

Victori Te Salutant?