I’m so freaking tired of parents with 3+ kids complaining

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha I posted a different vent recently about 3 kids and all their activities. I’m a SAHM and have a part time sitter. DH actually suggested I get full time help. I don’t need full time help. It is still a shit show getting kid(s) to sports in the middle of rush hour. I think the worst part is that we live in a highly congested traffic area. If everything were 5 minutes away, it would be fine. We have to drive 2-3 miles and it often takes 30+ minutes smack in the middle of dinner time.

Now my kids have camps and my toddler naps when they need to get picked up. I’m sure my toddler will survive getting her nap cut short.

I don’t mean to come off like I’m complaining. I also complain about traffic, heat, etc. I’m not trying to one up anyone about the number of kids and activities. I’m sure I would complain if I had one kid and had to drive in rush hour to sports too.

Full time help and being a SAHM?! Smh.

She has 3 kids... you cannot expect her to do it alone. She probably also has a housekeeper and yard service. Between mom, dad, and nanny you'd think they could figure it out. And, she probably has poor toddler in no activities so how hard can it be.

This was about a SAH mom. Keep up.

Don’t be bitter ladies. You should have chosen husbands who make more money.

+ 1

Or... wait for it... make your own money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys need to grow up.

If you don’t want to help someone else, use your big girl words and say “That doesn’t work for me.” If you’re having a conversation and someone else is complaining too much, end the conversation “It’s been nice catching up, but I need to get going now” then leave.

It really is that simple. Time to be an adult. If you don’t like the choices you’re making about YOUR life, make different ones. Nobody is forcing you to babysit someone else’s kid or listen to them complain. You’re choosing that. Own your choices.

Lol. You’re the person with a brood that whines.
Sorry sometimes you can’t get away from it. My brother and SIL have 5 kids (by choice) and whine incessantly about not being able to afford a house, newish cars, vacations that don’t involve sleeping on a cousins floor.
The icing on the cake is how they complain that people that post on FB about vacations and fun birthday parties are deemed "trying to shame them".

All I hear is whine, whine, whine.

Grow up and own your choices. And if you choose to sit and listen to you brother complain, don’t go complain to other people about it. Do you not see how ridiculous you sound?

Grow up sweetheart. It’s (past) time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess what I don't understand about the complainers is - how did you not realize it was going to be like this?

Each child is a lot of work. They have needs that must be met. Obviously. Any parent of one knows this. Multiply by 3 or 4 and yeah, it gets a lot harder each time you add to your family. There is way more juggling that needs to be done between only 2 parents.

What did you think it was going to be like?

This is coming from a mom of 4 who never complains.

Please! Everyone complains. EVERYONNNNNNNE. Stop trying to act like you’re different and special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is such bizarre logic to me. Can no one complain, in this case? When a mom of 1, a newborn, complains that she is tired, is your response "well, YOU chose to have a baby. Either manage it or don't but stop complaining about your choices. You knew what the repercussions would be." When someone says "oh my gosh it's so hot out" is your response "either managing living in a hot city or don't but stop complaining about your own choices."

I dunno. With one kid you have no idea what you're getting into. With 3 you've had two to figure it out that each additional kid is a new emotional and logistical puzzle and adds to life complexity.

+1 and you are not birthing magical unicorns anymore!

Yeah, but #3 actually is a magical unicorn.

Seriously, I didn't think the pool life mom was complaining, more that she was seeking advice (well, maybe complaining a little bit too.) I'm generally tolerant of complaining, especially when it's done in a self-effacing and amusing way (bonus points for swearing like a sailor). Where I must draw the line, however, is any request for help accompanied by the phrase "it takes a village, right?" If you utter that kind of pablum (and I say this as a Hillary voter), I do not want to be part of your freakin' village. In fact, me and my kids are turning your village into a Superfund site. Right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:s/o from the pool life thread. But it extends everywhere. You had three kids by choice. You knew what the repercussions would be for your kids and yourselves. Not as many activities, harder in public places in the younger years etc. You can’t make the defining soccer game because one parent has to travel and you don’t arrange backup? Then don’t sign up for the team, and don’t complain when the coach only selects the “committed” players to move up. It’s your kids that are suffering. Either manage it or don’t but stop complaining about your own choices. Rant over.

No. People don't know what they're getting into when they have kids, much less when they have three or more kids. The lack of knowing what lies ahead doesn't give them permission to whine, but it's important to admit that nobody knows the "repercussions" of having kids until they have them. At least admit that part.

of course they do unless they are having triplets

If you have one kid, it's pretty easy to envision what it will be like to have two and then so on and so forth

+1
and some of us have fewer because that's the lifestyle we wanted for us and them. i know a dad of 3 who is constantly like you only have 2, you dont get it - yeah, i dont, but that's why i dont. DUH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the people who start these threads are struggling with infertility or weren’t able to have as many children as they wanted. It doesn’t make sense to me to get mad at someone for complaining about what they have unless it was something you wanted for yourself.

Also, they make it sound like pregnancy is always a well-thought out plan where all of the pros and cons were weighed. Certainly it often is that way, but sometimes it’s just getting a little too drunk at the backyard bbq. I know I gave more thought to taking my last job than I did to conceiving my third child, and I ended up leaving that job after a couple of years, but I am stuck with this little boy for life .

i started it, and i use birth control when i don't want to get pregnant.
i have 2 kids - why on earth would anyone who struggled with infertility post this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the people who start these threads are struggling with infertility or weren’t able to have as many children as they wanted. It doesn’t make sense to me to get mad at someone for complaining about what they have unless it was something you wanted for yourself.

Also, they make it sound like pregnancy is always a well-thought out plan where all of the pros and cons were weighed. Certainly it often is that way, but sometimes it’s just getting a little too drunk at the backyard bbq. I know I gave more thought to taking my last job than I did to conceiving my third child, and I ended up leaving that job after a couple of years, but I am stuck with this little boy for life .

i started it, and i use birth control when i don't want to get pregnant.
i have 2 kids - why on earth would anyone who struggled with infertility post this?

You seem upset that people are complaining about something you wish you had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:s/o from the pool life thread. But it extends everywhere. You had three kids by choice. You knew what the repercussions would be for your kids and yourselves. Not as many activities, harder in public places in the younger years etc. You can’t make the defining soccer game because one parent has to travel and you don’t arrange backup? Then don’t sign up for the team, and don’t complain when the coach only selects the “committed” players to move up. It’s your kids that are suffering. Either manage it or don’t but stop complaining about your own choices. Rant over.

No. People don't know what they're getting into when they have kids, much less when they have three or more kids. The lack of knowing what lies ahead doesn't give them permission to whine, but it's important to admit that nobody knows the "repercussions" of having kids until they have them. At least admit that part.

of course they do unless they are having triplets

If you have one kid, it's pretty easy to envision what it will be like to have two and then so on and so forth

+1
and some of us have fewer because that's the lifestyle we wanted for us and them. i know a dad of 3 who is constantly like you only have 2, you dont get it - yeah, i dont, but that's why i dont. DUH.

We get it. That's why we chose to have 1-2 kids so we can do more for those kids and make sure their needs are met fully by us, not by outsourcing or ignoring, etc.

[Anonymous]

Isn't this the point of DCUM: to complain, celebrate, share anecdotes, seek advice, commiserate? If threads bother you move on

[Anonymous]

I have been irritated by a friend who complained FREQUENTLY about having so many children, and yet, continued to have more kids (6 total). Also, talking to her was difficult, because if I offhandedly said "oh crap, I have to go grocery shopping, I am really not in the mood, " she would laugh and say "try grocery shopping with 6 kids, then you can complain! "

I think it got way worse with social media, where she could post about her struggles daily and respond condescendingly to everyone else's posts. Once a friend posted a picture of her and her kids at an amusement park, and this friend responded "lol, can't afford that with 6 kids." Just strange and exhausting to be around.

[Anonymous]

My brother has 3 kids. He and his spouse have jobs that require travel and they cobble together help with babysitters. We have two kids and commuting into DC is enough for us. We never ask them for help with our kids. Every time they call or text me I have a fear that they are going to ask me to pick up a kid or have a kid over or drive a kid somewhere because they don't trust the babysitters to drive. I'm sorry - but this isn't a small town and traffic and commuting are a nightmare. Our kids have activities and we've staggered our schedules to be able to get them places. I just think it takes a lot of gall to ask and I always feel terrible when I say that I can't drive into rush hour traffic, after commuting home, to help them with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't this the point of DCUM: to complain, celebrate, share anecdotes, seek advice, commiserate? If threads bother you move on

Or... use DCUM for its, as you said intended purpose? To complain, celebrate, share anecdotes, seek advice, commiserate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:s/o from the pool life thread. But it extends everywhere. You had three kids by choice. You knew what the repercussions would be for your kids and yourselves. Not as many activities, harder in public places in the younger years etc. You can’t make the defining soccer game because one parent has to travel and you don’t arrange backup? Then don’t sign up for the team, and don’t complain when the coach only selects the “committed” players to move up. It’s your kids that are suffering. Either manage it or don’t but stop complaining about your own choices. Rant over.

Yep. It's amazing to me how people have 3+ kids and then it's eye opening to them that they can't handle it. What did you think it was going to be like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Don’t be bitter ladies. You should have chosen husbands who make more money.

I dunno. The people I know who have 3+ kids actually the ones that have the least money and can't afford child care for all the kids, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Don’t be bitter ladies. You should have chosen husbands who make more money.

I dunno. The people I know who have 3+ kids actually the ones that have the least money and can't afford child care for all the kids, etc.

+1. It's always the "oops" baby who is some women's golden ticket to not having to go back to work. I know at least four women who have straight up told me as much, and I suspect it of many others.