How terrible will it be to be away from my 1 year old daughter at Christmas? I am regretting things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about just stay home? Sounds better in every way- or leave after christmas

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe you are going. That is very odd. Who would want to leave their spouse and child at home on the biggest holiday of the year so they can go on an extended trip with great Aunt Bess and cousin Elroy.

Obviously I have cooler aunts and cousins than you! Kidding, sorry of

People who don't have big fun families can't understand I guess

I'll also be there with my dad and brother

Please understand this: it doesn't matter that your family is fun to be around. Now that you have a baby, you'll need to make sacrifices. That means you stay home EVEN THOUGH you'd like to go on this fun filled family trip.

I'd be pissed if my husband did this at Christmas.

[Anonymous]

People need to stop piling on OP. Not every single DW in the world feels the same way about Christmas. I think it would be insane for OP to miss out on a family reunion like the one he describes just to avoid a little holiday travel. If his DW is really intent on not going, then that's fine...does not sound like she thinks this is the end of their marriage.

OP, go to your family reunion. Frankly, if my DH skipped something like you're describing, I'd question his overall commitment to the idea of family in general. Whether I joined or not is secondary...

[Anonymous]

DW here who, if the situation were that same, would probably prefer my H went to his family reunion and I stayed local.

OP - part of growing up is realizing you can’t get everything you want.

Your wife doesn’t want to travel with a 13 month old at Christmas (completely fair decision), be glad she’s confident enough in your relationship that she’s okay with you missing Christmas. . Your daughter won’t notice, so it’s about you, not your daughter, not your wife. So you have to pick, it’s not fair to guilt your wife into going.

We did a reasonable amount of traveling with our child when she was under 2 (and still do), and from being very mobile (walking, basically) to 2.5 was the hardest, especially with long flights. Traveling at Christmas sucks no matter what the circumstances. Coming back from a week vacation, that you don’t have vacation time for, exhausted, and jumping back into work/parenting, sounds awful. These are all likely reasons your wife doesn’t want to go.

[Anonymous]

Where are you going? I don’t know if I would want the baby to go on these ice/snowy roads if you had to travel far on top of the airplane travel. I think it’s fine for you to go if your wife is on board- but I think you may end up regretting leaving your family once you are there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going? I don’t know if I would want the baby to go on these ice/snowy roads if you had to travel far on top of the airplane travel. I think it’s fine for you to go if your wife is on board- but I think you may end up regretting leaving your family once you are there.

A ski town in British Columbia, so yeah it's a long trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going? I don’t know if I would want the baby to go on these ice/snowy roads if you had to travel far on top of the airplane travel. I think it’s fine for you to go if your wife is on board- but I think you may end up regretting leaving your family once you are there.

A ski town in British Columbia, so yeah it's a long trip

Unless your family is from British Columbia, it’s really selfish of the organizers to plan a trip like that over Christmas. And you don’t seem to appreciate that you’re a dad now, not a party boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going? I don’t know if I would want the baby to go on these ice/snowy roads if you had to travel far on top of the airplane travel. I think it’s fine for you to go if your wife is on board- but I think you may end up regretting leaving your family once you are there.

A ski town in British Columbia, so yeah it's a long trip

What!? Now it sounds more like you are ditching her with a baby at the holiday for a wild and crazy ski trip.


I m secure with my husband’s travel and fun but I would REALLY be pissed. You are no longer single and childless - deal with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going? I don’t know if I would want the baby to go on these ice/snowy roads if you had to travel far on top of the airplane travel. I think it’s fine for you to go if your wife is on board- but I think you may end up regretting leaving your family once you are there.

A ski town in British Columbia, so yeah it's a long trip

If your wife and child come, are you planning to skip skiing so you can take care of your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going? I don’t know if I would want the baby to go on these ice/snowy roads if you had to travel far on top of the airplane travel. I think it’s fine for you to go if your wife is on board- but I think you may end up regretting leaving your family once you are there.

A ski town in British Columbia, so yeah it's a long trip

Unless your family is from British Columbia, it’s really selfish of the organizers to plan a trip like that over Christmas. And you don’t seem to appreciate that you’re a dad now, not a party boy.

It's the town where my brother lives and yes my family is from that part of the world

I'm not going because I excited to ski.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going? I don’t know if I would want the baby to go on these ice/snowy roads if you had to travel far on top of the airplane travel. I think it’s fine for you to go if your wife is on board- but I think you may end up regretting leaving your family once you are there.

A ski town in British Columbia, so yeah it's a long trip

If your wife and child come, are you planning to skip skiing so you can take care of your child?

Yes of course. Ideally we would stay in one of the big cabins that can house lots of people so we could participate in all the fun / hanging out while our baby sleeps in a different room with a monitor

But yeah, unless she changes her mind on her own they won't be coming

[Anonymous]

And to add, my dad and me are the only ones flying. Everyone else is driving

[Anonymous]

You will end up divorced OP. Not because of this trip but because both you and your wife are more bonded to your families of origin than to each other. Ignore that at your own peril. You’re getting what you want in the short term yes but sewing the seeds of much more serious issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will end up divorced OP. Not because of this trip but because both you and your wife are more bonded to your families of origin than to each other. Ignore that at your own peril. You’re getting what you want in the short term yes but sewing the seeds of much more serious issues.

Oh please. Ignore this poster.

I completely get why your wife would not want to fly that far out during Christmas. What you had originally planned is fine. Staying home with them is fine too. What's not fine is for either of you to say one thing and mean another, and secretly harbor resentment. If you both communicate well and mean what you say, then all the power to you and enjoy your holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will end up divorced OP. Not because of this trip but because both you and your wife are more bonded to your families of origin than to each other. Ignore that at your own peril. You’re getting what you want in the short term yes but sewing the seeds of much more serious issues.

Oh please. Ignore this poster.

I completely get why your wife would not want to fly that far out during Christmas. What you had originally planned is fine. Staying home with them is fine too. What's not fine is for either of you to say one thing and mean another, and secretly harbor resentment. If you both communicate well and mean what you say, then all the power to you and enjoy your holiday.

Agree, you will not end up in divorce because your wife doesn't want to travel across the country with a 13 month old and then be the sole caretaker while you go do fun things with your family... because lets be honest, that's what would happen. Your original plan is perfect. My husband traveled to multiple family events without me when our kids were very little because it just wasn't worth it to travel with kids but it was important for him to be there. We are still married. The fact that it is over Christmas is only a big deal if you decide to make it a big deal.