How terrible will it be to be away from my 1 year old daughter at Christmas? I am regretting things

[Anonymous]

I assume you're not Christian and that most of the posters on this thread are Christian. Christmas really isn't that big of a deal to other cultures/religions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter would be fine. Not sure about your wife, though! You haven't mentioned how she feels about the plan.

OP here.

Everyone was fine with the original plan, although I was somewhat disappointed that she wasn't coming with me. She was fine with this and my guess is she probably will still want to stay home, but I will ask her again.

She thought we can celebrate Christmas early and yes a 1 year old won't know the difference, but it just sounds so lame to be away from them even if I will be happy to see everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume you're not Christian and that most of the posters on this thread are Christian. Christmas really isn't that big of a deal to other cultures/religions.

I am Christian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't miss my kid's first Christmas. Travelling with a baby isn't super hard. I'd go with the whole family and have a great time.

This is my hope. To the posters who say traveling with a baby is so bad.. what do you mean exactly?

We are going to travel with a baby next month and maybe we can see how it goes and rethink our Christmas plans based on that. The only difference would be colder/icier/snowier conditions and maybe worse flights in terms of timing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take your wife and baby! I think you'll all regret not being together, particularly at a big family gathering where all will be keen to meet your daughter. We started traveling overseas when our DD was 1 and it's really not so bad.

I agree...!

[Anonymous]

OP where will your wife be for Christmas? Does she have family? I would really enjoy a Christmas by myself with my family if I had the option. Traveling over Christmas is a special hell, especially with a baby (it's not the airplane I hate, it's sleeping in weird places and the fact that my kids don't sleep well in other houses). Is there tension between your wife and your parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP where will your wife be for Christmas? Does she have family? I would really enjoy a Christmas by myself with my family if I had the option. Traveling over Christmas is a special hell, especially with a baby (it's not the airplane I hate, it's sleeping in weird places and the fact that my kids don't sleep well in other houses). Is there tension between your wife and your parents?

She will be with her family - parents, brother, SIL, niece, etc. That is a big reason why she probably is fine with the idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP where will your wife be for Christmas? Does she have family? I would really enjoy a Christmas by myself with my family if I had the option. Traveling over Christmas is a special hell, especially with a baby (it's not the airplane I hate, it's sleeping in weird places and the fact that my kids don't sleep well in other houses). Is there tension between your wife and your parents?

She will be with her family - parents, brother, SIL, niece, etc. That is a big reason why she probably is fine with the idea.

I would prefer it if DH went to his family and I went to my family on holidays. I have kids too, but they're toddler/baby and they don't remember the holidays. I really miss not seeing my parents on Christmas when we travel to the inlaws.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, we will almost certainly spend next Christmas with her family because my extended family won't be doing another get together like this soon. It basically is our default to be with her family since they are local and my family isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter would be fine. Not sure about your wife, though! You haven't mentioned how she feels about the plan.

OP here.

Everyone was fine with the original plan, although I was somewhat disappointed that she wasn't coming with me. She was fine with this and my guess is she probably will still want to stay home, but I will ask her again.

She thought we can celebrate Christmas early and yes a 1 year old won't know the difference, but it just sounds so lame to be away from them even if I will be happy to see everyone else.

I think your wife is being very nice but you will score big points finding a way to be together. A few years ago my husband was going to be in east Africa on our 25th anniversary and I was, of course, disappointed but I said we could celebrate later. Instead he surprised me by walking in the front door at 6pm following a 30+ hour door to door trip. He scored many, many points even if he did fall asleep a few hours later.

[Anonymous]

I do not think my wife cares that much about being together on the actual day of Christmas! The obvious choice would have been to make the sacrifices necessary to do the travel if we all wanted to be together on Christmas day, right?

[Anonymous]

How old will baby be? I think it really depends on how stressful you find fliying in general. I don't love to travel with small kids, but beyond not traveling with kids for exceptionally short trips where they will never adjust, I would not base decisions around avoiding it.

I traveled alone with my kids several times in their first year. With my second, that meant with an infant and toddler in tow. We've flown with kids for Christmas every year, and one year that even meant taking my 1 y.o. overseas to visit family.

If there are other logistical issues like your wife's job, that's a different matter. But I would not make the decision to either be apart from your nuclear family or miss what sounds like a rare extended family gathering just because of the hassle of traveling. DCUM-ers are really weird about extended family...if yours is important to you, then this is a great time to introduce them to your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not miss Christmas with my wife and child for any reason. They are more important then my extended family and I’d find a way to make it work even if it included cancelling the trip.

+1,000

Your wife and child first, no matter what. At the very least, change your flight so you're home on Christmas Day.

I can't imagine what your wife must feel.

[Anonymous]

Baby will be 13 months old. I don't mind flying in general, but I have never traveled with a baby before.

I think that most (but maybe not all) of this family will have met our baby once before (this coming month), but these Christmas gatherings are so much fun and will be longer and better than the quicker meeting we will have next month.

I agree that the difficulty of travel should not be a factor! I do not think PTO should be a factor either, especially since she won't even plan on being at her job for much longer and missing a paycheck with unpaid leave would have no real effect on our finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not miss Christmas with my wife and child for any reason. They are more important then my extended family and I’d find a way to make it work even if it included cancelling the trip.

+1,000

Your wife and child first, no matter what. At the very least, change your flight so you're home on Christmas Day.

I can't imagine what your wife must feel.

This plan was basically my wife's idea!