How terrible will it be to be away from my 1 year old daughter at Christmas? I am regretting things

[Anonymous]

The current plan we have is for me to go to a holiday reunion with extended family, but for my wife and young daughter to stay at home. The idea is saving money/vacation days/not worrying about traveling with a baby on red-eye flights and dealing with cold temperatures, snowy roads, etc.........

But I am already regretting this. I made this plan when our baby barely had a personality, but now she is so cute and fun and giggly that I do not think I could bear over a week away from her! Especially the holidays.

Is traveling during the holidays with a baby really that bad?

I think I would like my wife to take unpaid leave for those days if she doesn't have enough PTO and we'll just deal with the crap of the flights, snow, driving, and everything else.

[Anonymous]

How about just stay home? Sounds better in every way- or leave after christmas

[Anonymous]

It's a big family gathering that I really shouldn't and don't want to miss and I already purchased a flight! So my options now are to waste my flight, buy another flight for my wife or change nothing about the plans

[Anonymous]

I think all of those travelling issues are manageable with one baby. The other option is to celebrate Christmas at home before or after. She doesn't know the day. I would not miss your reunion.

[Anonymous]

Take your wife and baby! I think you'll all regret not being together, particularly at a big family gathering where all will be keen to meet your daughter. We started traveling overseas when our DD was 1 and it's really not so bad.

[Anonymous]

Does your wife want to go? If so book a ticket. If she doesn't want to go, just designate another day as Christmas, the kid will not care.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it depends on your wife.

Would she mind taking unpaid leave, dealing with crappy flights, snow, and everything else that comes with Christmas travel? It's a lot of hassle and a big ask.

Personally I'd go by myself but cut the trip short. Spend Christmas eve and the morning of with my daughter and wife, and join the extended family either before or after.

[Anonymous]

Are you Christian/religious? If you're not, then missing Christmas isn't a big deal. Celebrate it later. I worry more about your wife being all alone on the biggest holiday of the year. Does she have family and friends she can be with?

[Anonymous]

Your daughter would be fine. Not sure about your wife, though! You haven't mentioned how she feels about the plan.

[Anonymous]

Your 1 year-old won’t know the difference of holidays. After this year, holidays will matter.

Your wife, on the other hand, may be strongly impacted by the holidays, your absence, and solo parenting. What is her preferred plan?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't miss my kid's first Christmas. Travelling with a baby isn't super hard. I'd go with the whole family and have a great time.

[Anonymous]

I would not miss Christmas with my wife and child for any reason. They are more important then my extended family and I’d find a way to make it work even if it included cancelling the trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a big family gathering that I really shouldn't and don't want to miss and I already purchased a flight! So my options now are to waste my flight, buy another flight for my wife or change nothing about the plans

Don’t punish your wife and baby. Flying over the holidays is a special kind of hell for the parents and it’s no fun for the baby to be miserable.

How about a compromise? You change your flight so you come back after 3 days instead of a week?

Sure, you miss Christmas but at this age, it’s easy enough to celebrate with your wife and daughter before or after.

[Anonymous]

You can celebrate Christmas at any point —including July 4– and your baby won’t know the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not miss Christmas with my wife and child for any reason. They are more important then my extended family and I’d find a way to make it work even if it included cancelling the trip.

+1 Any option that doesn’t include being with my family on Christmas Day is a non-starter. I’d start with that being my #1 priority and work from there. Your baby might not appreciate it but your wife will even if she says “we’d be ok being alone.”