WWYD if you found out former nanny lied to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so ridiculous. Your nanny made a snapfish book and SHE included these incriminating photos? Why would she be so stupid? And then, three years later, when busted about it, she is so feckless as not to have thought up a better story about where the photo was taken? The whole thing is unbelievable.

I could believe that. Lots of people are stupid enough to get caught. A couple I know are divorcing now, because the man accidentally posted pictures on Facebook of himself with his affair partner, thinking that he had posted them to just to the adultery partner.

FB maybe, but a printed book that you laid out online, printed, looked at in person and then gave as a gift? That takes a special mind of stupid.

[Anonymous]

Lady, you crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I think this is terrible. I thought it was terrible before I heard what nanny actually did. A parent shouldn't have to specify all the places the baby shouldn't go. Don't take my kid to a new location without telling the parent. Awful.

MY nanny would just text, me - "hey, we are going to XXX park to check-it out".

It is even more awful to leave the child in someone's else's care without a specific OK. Terrible.

This. Easily a firing offense if the nanny weren't already gone.

[Anonymous]

WTF is wrong with you people? The nanny dragged your kid all over town 20 miles away against your express wishes. And while you were paying her she took your kid over to her house while she packed. I’m sure she was watching him carefully at the time.
What would your boss do if you pulled a stunt like that?
OP I would be inclined to withhold payment due to violating terms of service. As for recommendations I would damn with faint praise as I would not want further involvement with this dishonest person. There is no way in hell I would let it go.
And keep the book for evidence until some times passes and then give it a nice home in the trash.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny dragged our kids to her other job and instructed them not to tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I think this is terrible. I thought it was terrible before I heard what nanny actually did. A parent shouldn't have to specify all the places the baby shouldn't go. Don't take my kid to a new location without telling the parent. Awful.

MY nanny would just text, me - "hey, we are going to XXX park to check-it out".

It is even more awful to leave the child in someone's else's care without a specific OK. Terrible.

This. Easily a firing offense if the nanny weren't already gone.

+1. I would have let a quick lunch at her apartment go but leaving the child with someone else for a day so she could get paid for not working?! Definitely would get included in my reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is wrong with you people? The nanny dragged your kid all over town 20 miles away against your express wishes. And while you were paying her she took your kid over to her house while she packed. I’m sure she was watching him carefully at the time.
What would your boss do if you pulled a stunt like that?
OP I would be inclined to withhold payment due to violating terms of service. As for recommendations I would damn with faint praise as I would not want further involvement with this dishonest person. There is no way in hell I would let it go.
And keep the book for evidence until some times passes and then give it a nice home in the trash.

The worst is that OP said that the nanny wasn't even watching the kid. The boyfriend's mother was. That to me is the worst part. You don't pawn off a kid on a stranger when you're being paid to watch them.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe that you are falling for this. I think this did not happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think the saying something would accomplish? Do you expect her to apologize? I’m not sure what she should apologize for. All this would do is make you sound crazy and controlling. This was three years ago.

You misread. The nanny worked for OP for three years but only recently left the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I do not micromanage but she should tell me if she's going to take my kid somewhere he doesn't normally go to. My former nanny lives 20 miles away so what would be the point in going to her house to eat lunch? And yes, she's asked me before if she could take my kid to her house and I said no.

I forgot to mention the photos were dated right around when she was moving out of her other apartment. There were moving boxes in the photos so I'm guessing she brought my son to her house while she was moving.

And no she doesn't have newer references, her last day was a couple weeks ago. I would think another family would want to know something like this.

Just curious, why did you say no? Did you not trust her?

Hi OP here again, I just don't see the point in her taking my son to her house. He has class (art, gym, etc) everyday in the morning, then lunch at home, nap, sometimes a play date so I don't see what benefit he gets from being in the car 30+ minutes each way to hang out at her house. She obviously asked me because she had a personal (very long) errand to run, but that's what leave should be used for.

Really Nanny? You wouldn't want to work for a family in which the parents had a problem with a nanny directly going against expressed rules, including taking- assuming in this area- the kids for at least a couple hours to a place that the nanny was explicitly not supposed to go to?

As a nanny, I get why you are upset but I still couldn’t work for you or ppl like you. You are not alone in your feelings. However, you are making a mountain out of a molehill and willing to sabotage someone else’s career just bc you feel disrespected. You may not think your micromanage but you do based on your responses and reaction. You want to be vindictive and this isn’t worth it. Was your child traumatized? And be honest, how annoyed would you have been if your nanny asked for the day off to pack to move? Would you have paid her normal rate or less?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is so ridiculous. Your nanny made a snapfish book and SHE included these incriminating photos? Why would she be so stupid? And then, three years later, when busted about it, she is so feckless as not to have thought up a better story about where the photo was taken? The whole thing is unbelievable.

I could believe that. Lots of people are stupid enough to get caught. A couple I know are divorcing now, because the man accidentally posted pictures on Facebook of himself with his affair partner, thinking that he had posted them to just to the adultery partner.

FB maybe, but a printed book that you laid out online, printed, looked at in person and then gave as a gift? That takes a special mind of stupid.

Many people are not detail-oriented. She obviously was focused on pics with her and the child, not the background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP here for the very last time. I just decided to call my former nanny and ask her about the pictures. She seemed shocked that those pictures were in the album. I just asked her to be truthful with me.

Long story short - she took my son to her new apartment (boyfriend's apartment) 2 days in a row and her boyfriend's mother watched him all day while she moved. She said sorry and that she should've just taken those days off, but her boyfriend suggested that idea to her so she could keep her PTO days and have them paid out (we pay out anything not used). I told her I was upset and that I probably wouldn't be the best person to use as a reference since I would have to tell her new family the truth about what happened.

Former nanny said she completely understood and said sorry again. I told her good luck and thanked her for taking care of our son for 3 years.

Thanks all for responding! Made me realize I should just talk to her instead of wondering what really happened.

I think this is 10000% sane. She put your kid in the care of someone whom you don't know (presumably).
And those people shaming the woman for having a nanny in the first place? Get over yourself. Do you really think that women working outside the home are bad mothers? It's 2019.

[Anonymous]

OP There a a lot of nannies on this thread. What your nanny did is a fire able leave my house this very moment and don’t even dream of asking me for a reference offense. It’s outrageous. And her bf mom watched your kid 20 miles from home against your express statement not to do it. When was she planning to tell you this: answer never. She hurriedly posted the pics in a book for whatever reason and made a big mistake (note she NEVER planned to tell you)
However in handling this I would not pay her any severance because she violated your contract if you had one.
With respect to references I would be careful and say little and be careful what you put in writing. Verbally if someone calls I would tend to be formal and corporate give the time she worked and keep it brief. I would not mention the event. The last thing you want is her returning to your life. If she lied about this, she lied about other things. So got caught.

[Anonymous]

PTO/ severance. No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny dragged our kids to her other job and instructed them not to tell.

What was the other job???