quite a rude response to a play date offer. drop it, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should ask the mutual friend who may know her better.

I didn't want to gossip. "Hey, does Susan not like me?"

I did send mutual friend (MT) a message. "I do not want to you to get involved, but I get the sense that Susan doesn't want to hang out with me. You are important to us, and I hope we can still hang out! I hope you can manage two separate play dates in week, haha" And she responded with "I sure can! two in a week is not a problem but two in a day are!"

I’d take that as a pretty solid admission that your mutual friend knows the person dislikes you. I even think her response is a little rude to be honest. “I. Can’t hang out with you and her on the same day and I’ve chosen her” is the impression I’m reading

+1 The friend's response here is strange. And it makes me wonder if there is a backstory you are not providing, OP? I mean, did the original friend with whom you have a standing playdate suggest that you cease meeting b/c of the other playdate with her other friend...and then you took it upon yourself to suggest combining them?
I feel like we (or you) are missing something here? Like two things strike me: 1--the friend did not say "texts are so weird...I'm sure she just values our Monday time and we can all meet up together some other time" or anything else to try to get you off the "I don't think she wants to hang with me" trail. And 2--she is signaling here that you are too much somehow. I would be cautious about proceeding with either one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should ask the mutual friend who may know her better.

I didn't want to gossip. "Hey, does Susan not like me?"

I did send mutual friend (MT) a message. "I do not want to you to get involved, but I get the sense that Susan doesn't want to hang out with me. You are important to us, and I hope we can still hang out! I hope you can manage two separate play dates in week, haha" And she responded with "I sure can! two in a week is not a problem but two in a day are!"

I’d take that as a pretty solid admission that your mutual friend knows the person dislikes you. I even think her response is a little rude to be honest. “I. Can’t hang out with you and her on the same day and I’ve chosen her” is the impression I’m reading

OP here and I know! It’s just gotten weird.

[Anonymous]

I'd stew over this (she was super-rude!) and probably pester my friend to find out why this person dislikes me, but then I'm a small and petty creature.

[Anonymous]

OP, how do you know this person? You call her an acquaintance in your first post but that could mean a lot of things. Did you ever get together one on one before she moved into the neighborhood?

It sounds like she blew off your first two attempts to reach out and then got very direct on the third one. She could have phrased things in a more polite way, but I'd rather get a no than a "maybe another time" that someone doesn't really mean. Maybe find another friend in your circle to do more playdates with instead of this one or the friend who's changing your standing playdate around this person?

[Anonymous]

I’d be annoyed if someone tried to turn my standing play date with a good friend into a play group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd stew over this (she was super-rude!) and probably pester my friend to find out why this person dislikes me, but then I'm a small and petty creature.

LOL! That’s why I posted here, to get it out, rather than do just this. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be annoyed if someone tried to turn my standing play date with a good friend into a play group.

Technically it was a playgroup through a moms club, but they were the only members. When I first met the friend I was very clear that I didn’t want to disturb their duo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know this person? You call her an acquaintance in your first post but that could mean a lot of things. Did you ever get together one on one before she moved into the neighborhood?

It sounds like she blew off your first two attempts to reach out and then got very direct on the third one. She could have phrased things in a more polite way, but I'd rather get a no than a "maybe another time" that someone doesn't really mean. Maybe find another friend in your circle to do more playdates with instead of this one or the friend who's changing your standing playdate around this person?

Acquaintance in that we hung out a few times in group settings. We’ve been nothing but friendly to each other and I was excited she was moving to my neighborhood! That’s why the message was so abrupt and rude to me. I was surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be annoyed if someone tried to turn my standing play date with a good friend into a play group.

Technically it was a playgroup through a moms club, but they were the only members. When I first met the friend I was very clear that I didn’t want to disturb their duo!

Aaaaand then you went and tried to turn their duo into a trio on Mondays. So...maybe not as "clear" as you meant to be...?

[Anonymous]

This is one of those lord only knows things. . .my positive side says half of her message got cut off - like she was voice texting and meant to say "I am SO sorry to decline your offer, but bobby has strep throat" . . . but the negative side says something about your OR your kid rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe Bobby won't play with girls and hates girls and you have a girl. Before pre-k, I reached out to tons of moms on our class list for play dates - one wrote me back and said thanks for emailing me, but Johny won't play with girls - wouldn't you know he and my daughter ended up being best friends that year - SO. . . .I randomly derailed my comment - but I think I'd let this issue simmer a bit - I wouldn't mention it at the play date with your friend this week or next - but I'd casually mention it in a month like "oh I forgot year she said she had to decline". . . .guess I offered her somehow!

[Anonymous]

^ Edited to add: She was still plenty rude though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know this person? You call her an acquaintance in your first post but that could mean a lot of things. Did you ever get together one on one before she moved into the neighborhood?

It sounds like she blew off your first two attempts to reach out and then got very direct on the third one. She could have phrased things in a more polite way, but I'd rather get a no than a "maybe another time" that someone doesn't really mean. Maybe find another friend in your circle to do more playdates with instead of this one or the friend who's changing your standing playdate around this person?

Acquaintance in that we hung out a few times in group settings. We’ve been nothing but friendly to each other and I was excited she was moving to my neighborhood! That’s why the message was so abrupt and rude to me. I was surprised.

Ah - it sounds like two really different personality styles that maybe didn't come out in the few group meetings. Sorry it didn't work out, OP - I tried a moms' club and found it to be not nearly as friendly or active as I'd hoped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know this person? You call her an acquaintance in your first post but that could mean a lot of things. Did you ever get together one on one before she moved into the neighborhood?

It sounds like she blew off your first two attempts to reach out and then got very direct on the third one. She could have phrased things in a more polite way, but I'd rather get a no than a "maybe another time" that someone doesn't really mean. Maybe find another friend in your circle to do more playdates with instead of this one or the friend who's changing your standing playdate around this person?

Acquaintance in that we hung out a few times in group settings. We’ve been nothing but friendly to each other and I was excited she was moving to my neighborhood! That’s why the message was so abrupt and rude to me. I was surprised.

Ah - it sounds like two really different personality styles that maybe didn't come out in the few group meetings. Sorry it didn't work out, OP - I tried a moms' club and found it to be not nearly as friendly or active as I'd hoped.

For real, I deactivated my membership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be annoyed if someone tried to turn my standing play date with a good friend into a play group.

Technically it was a playgroup through a moms club, but they were the only members. When I first met the friend I was very clear that I didn’t want to disturb their duo!

Aaaaand then you went and tried to turn their duo into a trio on Mondays. So...maybe not as "clear" as you meant to be...?

Oh, no, I mean I asked if it is was ok and threaded carefully. I am fully aware that three is a crowd! I hasn’t worked out for us to get together altogether in several months, or maybe they were getting together and I wasn’t aware (very likely) and when I tried to get us together for real she shut that down.

[Anonymous]

I find that HILARIOUS! I love it.

Yeah, I'd just have nothing more to do with her.

Her: Hello
Me: I am going to decline your greeting