An acquaintance moved into my neighborhood, just a street away. We've hung out a few times in a group, and we share a mutual friends. I messaged her a few times around her move date, but she never replied. Then I sent a group text to her and our mutual friend offering to host a playdate today at my house (she and the friend get together on Mondays, and my friend and I get together on Mondays, so I thought we could lump together.)
I was a little shocked to receive back: "I am going to decline your offer." Wow. Ok then... I'm taking that as she definitely does not want to be my friend. Drop it, right? It's going to weird with this mutual friend, now...but I hope not. |
Is typically a formal person, or someone whose first language is not English. I wouldn't take that response as rude. |
No, not formal at all and English is her first language. |
I really try to never get offended over a text message. You can't hear the tone which can change the meaning of almost anything. |
It’s not a rude response. But it doesn’t sound like she wants to get together with you. |
You should ask the mutual friend who may know her better. |
I know. I guess it just sounded so short, and final. Not, "not today but thanks, another day?" |
I’d say it was rude. I’d stop trying to communicate with her. She knows how to reach you if she wants to. |
I wouldn't be sure how to take it. It does sound abrupt but it's text, so can't know the tone. How has this person been otherwise? I'd look at everything I know about the person and go from there. |
Yes drop it ....move on. Do not engage. |
If she otherwise has been lovely I wouldn't think twice. If she is always dodging you and not interested then I would take the hint. |
I didn't want to gossip. "Hey, does Susan not like me?" I did send mutual friend (MT) a message. "I do not want to you to get involved, but I get the sense that Susan doesn't want to hang out with me. You are important to us, and I hope we can still hang out! I hope you can manage two separate play dates in week, haha" ![]() |
Yup, she was rude. I would not invite her gain. |
She sounds a little weird/unreliable. I would probably make one more effort in about a month or so after they’re more settled in, and if she still blows you off, I think you can safely stop reaching out. |
Move on but don't make the effort with this person right now. Maybe she's private, or overwhelmed because of the move. Who knows. It's hard to be rebuffed, and she could have added the customary niceties (too busy! swamped this month!), but whatever the case, she's not worth pursuing.
I wouldn't bring it up to the mutual friend, either. |