quite a rude response to a play date offer. drop it, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find that HILARIOUS! I love it.

Yeah, I'd just have nothing more to do with her.

Her: Hello
Me: I am going to decline your greeting

LOL. Should I say that when I inevitably see her in the ‘hood?

[Anonymous]

Ask the other one if there is actually a mom's group to be a part of, or if it's just the two of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that HILARIOUS! I love it.

Yeah, I'd just have nothing more to do with her.

Her: Hello
Me: I am going to decline your greeting

LOL. Should I say that when I inevitably see her in the ‘hood?

In my little mind-play, you have already done this, OP...and it played out fantastically! The look on her imaginary face was priceless!

[Anonymous]

Yes this is rude. You asked her to hang out with you and she essentially responded, without any qualification, that she does not want to get together with you. In the absence of any explanation as to why she cannot get together, she’s making it clear that she just has no interest in your company.

I think it’s totally fine for her to not want to hang out, but most people have manners to at least thank the person for the invite and decline in a polite manner. She doesn’t even need to make a fake promise of a future play date. A simple “Thank you for the invite, but we are unable to attend” would be appropriate.

My guess is either she is incredibly socially awkward and does not want a large social network, she is one of those mommy group mean girls who likes to form cliques, or you have inadvertently offended her/come on too strong with the initial friendship. Regardless, I’d avoid her from here on out. If she ever called for a neighborly favor I’d “decline.”

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she’s a bitch. I’d look right through her. Or laugh in her face. Never grovel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes this is rude. You asked her to hang out with you and she essentially responded, without any qualification, that she does not want to get together with you. In the absence of any explanation as to why she cannot get together, she’s making it clear that she just has no interest in your company.

I think it’s totally fine for her to not want to hang out, but most people have manners to at least thank the person for the invite and decline in a polite manner. She doesn’t even need to make a fake promise of a future play date. A simple “Thank you for the invite, but we are unable to attend” would be appropriate.

My guess is either she is incredibly socially awkward and does not want a large social network, she is one of those mommy group mean girls who likes to form cliques, or you have inadvertently offended her/come on too strong with the initial friendship. Regardless, I’d avoid her from here on out. If she ever called for a neighborly favor I’d “decline.”

"No" is a complete sentence. I agree that saying "thank you for the invite" is more gracious, but the message of no is perfectly fine. In fact, I think the OP is incredibly socially awkward if she couldn't take a clue from the clear pattern of non-responses and non-attendance (i.e. fading out), and kept persisting until being flat out told off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those lord only knows things. . .my positive side says half of her message got cut off - like she was voice texting and meant to say "I am SO sorry to decline your offer, but bobby has strep throat" . . . but the negative side says something about your OR your kid rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe Bobby won't play with girls and hates girls and you have a girl. Before pre-k, I reached out to tons of moms on our class list for play dates - one wrote me back and said thanks for emailing me, but Johny won't play with girls - wouldn't you know he and my daughter ended up being best friends that year - SO. . . .I randomly derailed my comment - but I think I'd let this issue simmer a bit - I wouldn't mention it at the play date with your friend this week or next - but I'd casually mention it in a month like "oh I forgot year she said she had to decline". . . .guess I offered her somehow!

Yeah, I wondered if this was a texting error, like she dictated a text and didn't pay attention before hitting send, or part of the text got deleted, or something. Or maybe it just sounded different in her head than it did on your screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes this is rude. You asked her to hang out with you and she essentially responded, without any qualification, that she does not want to get together with you. In the absence of any explanation as to why she cannot get together, she’s making it clear that she just has no interest in your company.

I think it’s totally fine for her to not want to hang out, but most people have manners to at least thank the person for the invite and decline in a polite manner. She doesn’t even need to make a fake promise of a future play date. A simple “Thank you for the invite, but we are unable to attend” would be appropriate.

My guess is either she is incredibly socially awkward and does not want a large social network, she is one of those mommy group mean girls who likes to form cliques, or you have inadvertently offended her/come on too strong with the initial friendship. Regardless, I’d avoid her from here on out. If she ever called for a neighborly favor I’d “decline.”

"No" is a complete sentence. I agree that saying "thank you for the invite" is more gracious, but the message of no is perfectly fine. In fact, I think the OP is incredibly socially awkward if she couldn't take a clue from the clear pattern of non-responses and non-attendance (i.e. fading out), and kept persisting until being flat out told off.

No is a complete sentence, but not one I would use unless scolding my kids or fending off an unwanted advance. If I’m asked at a deli whether I’d like a side of chips, I’d at least say “No, thank you.” If someone went out of their way to invite me to their home (even if I had no interest in friendship), I’d at least be courteous of the offer.

[Anonymous]

^ DP. Maybe but I think we are only getting half the story if that. OP probably sent more than two or three texts. It's why the rude response so obviously doesn't align here to what OP says happened.

[Anonymous]

Meh, what is she supposed to do? You text her twice, with no response. That was her version of letting you know she didn’t want to engage. The third was a direct invite and she directly said no. If she had wrapped in “maybe another time” you would have text again.

[Anonymous]

Its rude but you kind of sound like a gossipy in your face kind of person who doesn't know when to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you offended her in some way. Did you make a comment on anti-vaxxers in front of her? Did you say something political? Anything that could have touched a nerve?

LOL, no. We've only been together a couple times. That's why I was shocked by the shut down response!

Got any bumper stickers? It’s just gotta be something like that...

I was thinking that too. It was a rude response so was the “we’re going to pass” response

NP here. I would MUCH prefer a “I’m going to pass” or “I’m going to decline your offer” over an enthusiastic yes followed by constant flaking.

DS has a friend whose mom is constantly saying we need to do a play date. Set up and either never confirmed or cancelled last minute every time. Even flaked after party time for my child’s birthday party. So annoying and rude.

[Anonymous]

She just moved. Moving is hugely stressful and she's got a million things to settle and you're sending her multiple texts when she doesn't know you well.

I think she's just overwhelmed. I would be.

[Anonymous]

Daaaaaaaaaamn. That's.... something.

I would have no interest in interacting with her after that. I know enough people who either like me or at least know how to pretend that I don't need people like that in my life.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, even if OP is needy/pushy extra, and the other lady is not interested, either ghost or say: no, thanks. We're good.

I'm going to decline your offer sounds so intentionally rude to me that no matter what the excuse is, I'd have no interest in being friends with that woman.