quite a rude response to a play date offer. drop it, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a freak. Scrape her off.

Yup and needs some help with social skills

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much drama over "pkaydates".

It's a "date" for me too. The goal is to ultimately like the new person and be friends with them! No this girl, though.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe there's been 11 pages and no one has asked how old your kids are. Are they all the same age? Do you have five and she has one? I need more details. I have a bunch of friends in the neighborhood that I know well but our kids don't gel so we don't have playdates. There's also only so many hours in the week. Even if she was intentionally rude, don't let it bother you too much. Little kid playdates are for hanging out with moms you get along with. Bigger kid playdates are for getting some child free time. Find your tribe. This is a short period of time so don't waste it on nonworthy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there's been 11 pages and no one has asked how old your kids are. Are they all the same age? Do you have five and she has one? I need more details. I have a bunch of friends in the neighborhood that I know well but our kids don't gel so we don't have playdates. There's also only so many hours in the week. Even if she was intentionally rude, don't let it bother you too much. Little kid playdates are for hanging out with moms you get along with. Bigger kid playdates are for getting some child free time. Find your tribe. This is a short period of time so don't waste it on nonworthy people.

I have two kids and she had 1 but our oldest kids are the same age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should ask the mutual friend who may know her better.

I didn't want to gossip. "Hey, does Susan not like me?"

I did send mutual friend (MT) a message. "I do not want to you to get involved, but I get the sense that Susan doesn't want to hang out with me. You are important to us, and I hope we can still hang out! I hope you can manage two separate play dates in week, haha" And she responded with "I sure can! two in a week is not a problem but two in a day are!"

B
Well there's your answer.

I'm wondering what MT meant by the bold.

Also, it's possible that the issue is with your kid, not you.

[Anonymous]

I think OP trying to restart her “standing” Monday play date (which hasn’t been “standing” for months) with MT by adding in new neighbor came off as controlling and obtrusive. They have their Monday twosome and OP was trying to muscle her way in and it annoyed new neighbor. And MT is happy to hang out but clearly doesn’t want to be pulled into drama.

[Anonymous]

I think you’ve made a mountain out of a molehill. You can’t really judge someone from a text if you don’t know the person. It’s possible she was direct and formal sounding to be funny. It’s possible BOTH moms don’t like you. It’s possible new mom friend is too frazzled lately from the move.

There are many possibilities, but you shouldn’t judge her because you don’t even know her.

You can only really get to know someone in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever texted her or hung out with her without mutual friend being involved?

The ones about her house and moving were just to her, yes.

So just those? Sounds like she's probably just never been a huge fan of yours. Can manage it fine in the setting with mutual friend, but have no desire to be an actual friend. It's ok,.it happens. Doesn't mean either of you did something or is wrong, your personalities just don't fit together. The text was a bit rude and direct, but if she's already kind of annoyed by you, it probably came through in texting you.

I think she felt like she had to be direct to cut OP off. Personally, I would not have texted again after she ignored the last two texts. She clearly does not like you OP. And then your friend not refuting your suggestion of that really drives that home 100%. Sorry. I'm sure it stings but try not to take it too personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever texted her or hung out with her without mutual friend being involved?

The ones about her house and moving were just to her, yes.

So just those? Sounds like she's probably just never been a huge fan of yours. Can manage it fine in the setting with mutual friend, but have no desire to be an actual friend. It's ok,.it happens. Doesn't mean either of you did something or is wrong, your personalities just don't fit together. The text was a bit rude and direct, but if she's already kind of annoyed by you, it probably came through in texting you.

I think she felt like she had to be direct to cut OP off. Personally, I would not have texted again after she ignored the last two texts. She clearly does not like you OP. And then your friend not refuting your suggestion of that really drives that home 100%. Sorry. I'm sure it stings but try not to take it too personally.

In fact, try not to take it personally at ALL. This may very well be about her and not about you. I went through years of depression when my kids were playdate-age, and I know I either ignored or responded tersely to texts from several people who wanted to get together with either me or my kids. They probably thought I hated them, but it would be closer to the truth to say I hated my life at the time.

[Anonymous]

She either (1) doesn't like you for some reason or (2) there's something else bad going on in her life and it has nothing to do with you. Either way, I would just back off and let her come to you if there is going to be any relationship.

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t like you and/or your child. So what, move on. Be polite and respectful when you are around her, but not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay.