What's with the constant put down here of hardworking kids as "Striver" kids"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think of people I would have considered strivers in school, the people who come to mind aren’t Asian. But I realize this may differ for others and there certainly are race-based stereotypes.

Most fundamentally, strivers are uncool. If I’m asked to unpack why, I would posit that it’s because they often are seeking out prestige or other narrow or short-term goals without a broader consideration of what makes them happy. There’s also an element of disingenuousness to it; strivers often feign interest or enthusiasm in something to achieve their goals. For those who have been to law school, strivers are like gunners. I’m largely with people who are honest about their goals being wealth or prestige (although I would question the wisdom and ethics of these goals taken to an extreme), but strivers usually aren’t honest about these goals or pursue them in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.

Ugh. People who bash strivers as "uncool" or "gunners" just aren't actually engaged in learning and don't know what it looks like, IMO. I mean, "uncool," really?

signed,
gunner who made law review and was just legitimately interested in the subject

Maybe you happened to be "interested in the subject" - but most times, the striver parents refuse to let their kids follow both what they are good at, and where their passion lies. What good comes of that? Bragging rights? Is that what life is about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blacks are lazy
Hispanics are Rapists
Asians are Strivers
Muslims are terrorists

The only good guys are the White dudes. <Eye Roll>.

Lol

Exactly. White people do it the right way, and everyone else is a bit off. This is the underlying message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think of people I would have considered strivers in school, the people who come to mind aren’t Asian. But I realize this may differ for others and there certainly are race-based stereotypes.

Most fundamentally, strivers are uncool. If I’m asked to unpack why, I would posit that it’s because they often are seeking out prestige or other narrow or short-term goals without a broader consideration of what makes them happy. There’s also an element of disingenuousness to it; strivers often feign interest or enthusiasm in something to achieve their goals. For those who have been to law school, strivers are like gunners. I’m largely with people who are honest about their goals being wealth or prestige (although I would question the wisdom and ethics of these goals taken to an extreme), but strivers usually aren’t honest about these goals or pursue them in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.

Ugh. People who bash strivers as "uncool" or "gunners" just aren't actually engaged in learning and don't know what it looks like, IMO. I mean, "uncool," really?

signed,
gunner who made law review and was just legitimately interested in the subject

Maybe you happened to be "interested in the subject" - but most times, the striver parents refuse to let their kids follow both what they are good at, and where their passion lies. What good comes of that? Bragging rights? Is that what life is about?

How do you know this? Are you at home with them or are you just making assumptions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think of people I would have considered strivers in school, the people who come to mind aren’t Asian. But I realize this may differ for others and there certainly are race-based stereotypes.

Most fundamentally, strivers are uncool. If I’m asked to unpack why, I would posit that it’s because they often are seeking out prestige or other narrow or short-term goals without a broader consideration of what makes them happy. There’s also an element of disingenuousness to it; strivers often feign interest or enthusiasm in something to achieve their goals. For those who have been to law school, strivers are like gunners. I’m largely with people who are honest about their goals being wealth or prestige (although I would question the wisdom and ethics of these goals taken to an extreme), but strivers usually aren’t honest about these goals or pursue them in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.

Ugh. People who bash strivers as "uncool" or "gunners" just aren't actually engaged in learning and don't know what it looks like, IMO. I mean, "uncool," really?

signed,
gunner who made law review and was just legitimately interested in the subject

Maybe you happened to be "interested in the subject" - but most times, the striver parents refuse to let their kids follow both what they are good at, and where their passion lies. What good comes of that? Bragging rights? Is that what life is about?

Ok, here’s one example. Many Asian Americans that came to the US in the 60s, 70s, 80s had advanced degrees but couldn’t get jobs. Many laundromat and restaurant owners were scientists and professors but fled Communism and other issues. If your parents were underemployed their entire career, working 12 hour days 7 days a week in a low class job, partly due to systemic racism, do you understand more now why that generation of Asian American parents spent such a disproportional amount of income to help their kids and also steer them toward careers where they will not be as vulnerable? If you grew up in a town in the US where there was an Asian-owned laundromat or restaurant, I’ll bet you their kids graduated from college and have office jobs. That’s an admirable leap.

[Anonymous]

Jimmy Neutron is a boy genius. He is naturally brilliant and is truly "Gifted". He is not a "striver".

He is also UMC, White, both his parents are highly educated STEM professionals and he has a complete state-of-the-art super expensive laboratory at his house. If he was Asian - he would be a striver on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Nobody appreciates your little soulless conniving tiger cub, tiger mom.

[Anonymous]

I mentioned earlier that someone accused me of being a striver parent on this forum. We are UMC white and well connected. Husband has connections at DS's first choice school, but not a legacy. But we were not going to rely on connections and money, so I pushed my kid.

I made him take piano lessons even though he wanted to quit multiple times through the years. He is 18 now and loves to play piano. It has helped get him girls LOL (which is what I predicted).

I nagged him about homework and expected nothing but As (but didn't sweat a B here and there). He finished with a strong GPA.

I nagged him about finishing on a big project that was going to make his college application look really good. He was able to talk about that project in his common app essay.

I signed him up for one of those summer programs which would also look good on his resume (because it aligned with all the work he was doing to help the underprivileged).

I also made my kid prep for the ACT with a private tutor. He got a perfect score one and done.

Did all of this pushing make a difference? Who knows. But is heading to his first choice school (a top 10) this fall. I believe when you want something, you have to put 100% into it and over prepare. I actually admire all strivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think of people I would have considered strivers in school, the people who come to mind aren’t Asian. But I realize this may differ for others and there certainly are race-based stereotypes.

Most fundamentally, strivers are uncool. If I’m asked to unpack why, I would posit that it’s because they often are seeking out prestige or other narrow or short-term goals without a broader consideration of what makes them happy. There’s also an element of disingenuousness to it; strivers often feign interest or enthusiasm in something to achieve their goals. For those who have been to law school, strivers are like gunners. I’m largely with people who are honest about their goals being wealth or prestige (although I would question the wisdom and ethics of these goals taken to an extreme), but strivers usually aren’t honest about these goals or pursue them in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.

Ugh. People who bash strivers as "uncool" or "gunners" just aren't actually engaged in learning and don't know what it looks like, IMO. I mean, "uncool," really?

signed,
gunner who made law review and was just legitimately interested in the subject

Maybe you happened to be "interested in the subject" - but most times, the striver parents refuse to let their kids follow both what they are good at, and where their passion lies. What good comes of that? Bragging rights? Is that what life is about?

Ok, here’s one example. Many Asian Americans that came to the US in the 60s, 70s, 80s had advanced degrees but couldn’t get jobs. Many laundromat and restaurant owners were scientists and professors but fled Communism and other issues. If your parents were underemployed their entire career, working 12 hour days 7 days a week in a low class job, partly due to systemic racism, do you understand more now why that generation of Asian American parents spent such a disproportional amount of income to help their kids and also steer them toward careers where they will not be as vulnerable? If you grew up in a town in the US where there was an Asian-owned laundromat or restaurant, I’ll bet you their kids graduated from college and have office jobs. That’s an admirable leap.

Yes, to be able to only focus on your interests/what you’re good at is a privilege. My uncle (Asian) pretty much made all of his kids become doctors because he saw it as one of the few ways for them to be financially successful and socially respected. Also, it relied less on being well connected and more on hard work. This was very true for his generation. The next generation is more about finding your passion, etc.

[Anonymous]

My parents and I immigrated to the US when I was 9 and I was told it was ‘the land of opportunity’ if I worked hard. Now I studied my ass off in school and got into UVa followed by a PhD from an Ivy league school. I now have a HHI of about $350,000. I guess that makes me a striver but I’m not ashamed of it. So there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Jimmy Neutron is a boy genius. He is naturally brilliant and is truly "Gifted". He is not a "striver".

He is also UMC, White, both his parents are highly educated STEM professionals and he has a complete state-of-the-art super expensive laboratory at his house. If he was Asian - he would be a striver on DCUM.

You still don’t understand what a striver is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I immigrated to the US when I was 9 and I was told it was ‘the land of opportunity’ if I worked hard. Now I studied my ass off in school and got into UVa followed by a PhD from an Ivy league school. I now have a HHI of about $350,000. I guess that makes me a striver but I’m not ashamed of it. So there.

You are not necessarily a striver, you might be.

Not enough info was provided.

Did your mom start a foundation and pretend you did?
Did you vacation in costa rico and pretend you built houses for the homeless?
Did you only make friends with well connected kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Jimmy Neutron is a boy genius. He is naturally brilliant and is truly "Gifted". He is not a "striver".

He is also UMC, White, both his parents are highly educated STEM professionals and he has a complete state-of-the-art super expensive laboratory at his house. If he was Asian - he would be a striver on DCUM.

You still don’t understand what a striver is.

You are an utter imbecile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think of people I would have considered strivers in school, the people who come to mind aren’t Asian. But I realize this may differ for others and there certainly are race-based stereotypes.

Most fundamentally, strivers are uncool. If I’m asked to unpack why, I would posit that it’s because they often are seeking out prestige or other narrow or short-term goals without a broader consideration of what makes them happy. There’s also an element of disingenuousness to it; strivers often feign interest or enthusiasm in something to achieve their goals. For those who have been to law school, strivers are like gunners. I’m largely with people who are honest about their goals being wealth or prestige (although I would question the wisdom and ethics of these goals taken to an extreme), but strivers usually aren’t honest about these goals or pursue them in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.

Ugh. People who bash strivers as "uncool" or "gunners" just aren't actually engaged in learning and don't know what it looks like, IMO. I mean, "uncool," really?

signed,
gunner who made law review and was just legitimately interested in the subject

Maybe you happened to be "interested in the subject" - but most times, the striver parents refuse to let their kids follow both what they are good at, and where their passion lies. What good comes of that? Bragging rights? Is that what life is about?

Ok, here’s one example. Many Asian Americans that came to the US in the 60s, 70s, 80s had advanced degrees but couldn’t get jobs. Many laundromat and restaurant owners were scientists and professors but fled Communism and other issues. If your parents were underemployed their entire career, working 12 hour days 7 days a week in a low class job, partly due to systemic racism, do you understand more now why that generation of Asian American parents spent such a disproportional amount of income to help their kids and also steer them toward careers where they will not be as vulnerable? If you grew up in a town in the US where there was an Asian-owned laundromat or restaurant, I’ll bet you their kids graduated from college and have office jobs. That’s an admirable leap.

Yaass! PP here and this is so right on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mentioned earlier that someone accused me of being a striver parent on this forum. We are UMC white and well connected. Husband has connections at DS's first choice school, but not a legacy. But we were not going to rely on connections and money, so I pushed my kid.

I made him take piano lessons even though he wanted to quit multiple times through the years. He is 18 now and loves to play piano. It has helped get him girls LOL (which is what I predicted).

I nagged him about homework and expected nothing but As (but didn't sweat a B here and there). He finished with a strong GPA.

I nagged him about finishing on a big project that was going to make his college application look really good. He was able to talk about that project in his common app essay.

I signed him up for one of those summer programs which would also look good on his resume (because it aligned with all the work he was doing to help the underprivileged).

I also made my kid prep for the ACT with a private tutor. He got a perfect score one and done.

Did all of this pushing make a difference? Who knows. But is heading to his first choice school (a top 10) this fall. I believe when you want something, you have to put 100% into it and over prepare. I actually admire all strivers.

Someone accused you of being a striver because YOU ARE A STRIVER. of course you admire all strivers - wouldn’t make sense to hate people who behave exactly as you do. Just be aware that most non striver parents feel bad for your poor kid who clearly has no say in his life and consider you an asshole. As most strivers are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Jimmy Neutron is a boy genius. He is naturally brilliant and is truly "Gifted". He is not a "striver".

He is also UMC, White, both his parents are highly educated STEM professionals and he has a complete state-of-the-art super expensive laboratory at his house. If he was Asian - he would be a striver on DCUM.

You still don’t understand what a striver is.

You are an utter imbecile.

That may be true, but PP is right. Striver has nothing to do with being Asian. It seems as though most people on this thread have no clue what a striver is. Although a PP back a page or 2 nailed it quite well.