What's with the constant put down here of hardworking kids as "Striver" kids"?

[Anonymous]

Strivers are soulless, disingenuous and desperate. Very uncool to be a striver. Work ethic and striving are NOT the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I think of people I would have considered strivers in school, the people who come to mind aren’t Asian. But I realize this may differ for others and there certainly are race-based stereotypes.

Most fundamentally, strivers are uncool. If I’m asked to unpack why, I would posit that it’s because they often are seeking out prestige or other narrow or short-term goals without a broader consideration of what makes them happy. There’s also an element of disingenuousness to it; strivers often feign interest or enthusiasm in something to achieve their goals. For those who have been to law school, strivers are like gunners. I’m largely with people who are honest about their goals being wealth or prestige (although I would question the wisdom and ethics of these goals taken to an extreme), but strivers usually aren’t honest about these goals or pursue them in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.

Ugh. People who bash strivers as "uncool" or "gunners" just aren't actually engaged in learning and don't know what it looks like, IMO. I mean, "uncool," really?

signed,
gunner who made law review and was just legitimately interested in the subject

[Anonymous]

Everyone posting during a workday is an Ivy-educated parent and white shoe law firm partner. Lol. Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A striver is like a try hard.

They don't just work hard, they talk about working hard, they complain when they don't get "what they deserve", they have no clue that many kids work harder and are smarter even if their grades don't show it, they don't understand that most of their accomplishments are luck/situational instead of hard work, they work for money, they are followers, etc ....

Why would you want to be a striver?

Nobody likes a stiver or a try hard.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A striver is like a try hard.

They don't just work hard, they talk about working hard, they complain when they don't get "what they deserve", they have no clue that many kids work harder and are smarter even if their grades don't show it, they don't understand that most of their accomplishments are luck/situational instead of hard work, they work for money, they are followers, etc ....

Why would you want to be a striver?

Nobody likes a stiver or a try hard.

To get ahead in life. Bitter, whiney, insecure losers like you who are too fat and stupid to compete just make it easier for them. Now go back to your sad life of desperation....you've had enough screen time for today.

[Anonymous]

Since the definition of what a striver is, is in dispute, I decided to go with the urban dictionary definition. They list Barack Obama as a Striver. Well I would feel lucky if my kid turns out like him. And i saw very little in the urban dictionary meaning to make me look down on strivers. They seem like determined kids who have their priorities right. They seem like folks who are ok with delaying gratification till they achieve something in life. Good for them. This country needs more Strivers and less Slackers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There used to be a time when the Protestant work ethic used to be appreciated and emulated in this country.
We used to tell our kids, "No matter what your situation in life, take it in stride and work hard and you will get past the hump"
Now working hard and persevering is an insult?

There is also a racist element to this put down. I've seen it used frequently on Asians. Sad state of affairs.

What a GREAT observation.

You are right, it is sad.

[Anonymous]

Working hard is not the issue. Trampling others on the way is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think of people I would have considered strivers in school, the people who come to mind aren’t Asian. But I realize this may differ for others and there certainly are race-based stereotypes.

Most fundamentally, strivers are uncool. If I’m asked to unpack why, I would posit that it’s because they often are seeking out prestige or other narrow or short-term goals without a broader consideration of what makes them happy. There’s also an element of disingenuousness to it; strivers often feign interest or enthusiasm in something to achieve their goals. For those who have been to law school, strivers are like gunners. I’m largely with people who are honest about their goals being wealth or prestige (although I would question the wisdom and ethics of these goals taken to an extreme), but strivers usually aren’t honest about these goals or pursue them in a thoughtless, inconsiderate manner.

Ugh. People who bash strivers as "uncool" or "gunners" just aren't actually engaged in learning and don't know what it looks like, IMO. I mean, "uncool," really?

signed,
gunner who made law review and was just legitimately interested in the subject

There's some nuance and distinction between strivers and gunners, but there's overlap too. If you're just legitimately interested in a subject, I wouldn't call you a striver (nor really a gunner). Strivers learn for a calculated end, *not* because they're interested in the subject. Gunners ask all those questions because they think it will impress the professor and further their aspirations. That said, you can certainly be "actually engaged in learning" without being either a striver or a gunner. For example, doing unassigned reading or research just because you're interesting in something is a good example of this. But law schools have lots of strivers because they're seen as an avenue to money and prestige. By contrast, PhD programs have fewer strivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A striver is like a try hard.

They don't just work hard, they talk about working hard, they complain when they don't get "what they deserve", they have no clue that many kids work harder and are smarter even if their grades don't show it, they don't understand that most of their accomplishments are luck/situational instead of hard work, they work for money, they are followers, etc ....

Why would you want to be a striver?

Nobody likes a stiver or a try hard.

To get ahead in life. Bitter, whiney, insecure losers like you who are too fat and stupid to compete just make it easier for them. Now go back to your sad life of desperation....you've had enough screen time for today.

Not PP, but I would rather my kids not be strivers especially if it fostered nasty attitudes like yours. Life's not a competition. Being fat or stupid isn't the worst thing and largely outside of people's control. Sad lives of desperation are often the result of kids being pushed to strive toward artificial measurements of success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working hard is not the issue. Trampling others on the way is the problem.

True but quite irrelevant to OP's point, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rail against people who design a kids' whole childhood (i.e.,their SUPPOSED interests, extra-curricular activities, summers) to line up with a pre-destined path that will push them into some future that is impressive to wealthy others. That allow their children to take so many AP's that it requires insufficient sleep, caffeine (or worse ) for children to get a GPA that puts them ahead of their peers in the eyes of HYP. It is not healthy, and it is not being done for pro-social reasons. It is being done to beat out others.

Very good post.

Agree. I think this is the pushback against "strivers." I think it can come off as anti-Asian. I think people are concerned about the overall cultural shift to achieve at all costs and they attribute that to Asian "Tiger Moms." I think it's all pushy parents, not just Asian ones. My kids' friends have been pushed to take certain courses of study even though they don't align with the kids' passion, interests or strength, they have been told that they must succeed for their ancestors, that a B shames the family, been physically abused because of poor grades, not allowed to pursue mandolin because it is not a "worthy" instrument, etc. I think it happens in families of any race that put some preconceived notion of success and achievement above the mental and physical health of their child. Although my child's friends are almost exclusively Asian, I don't doubt families of other races do the same thing and many Asian families do not.

I think it will be interesting to see how all of this pressure plays out as these kids enter the workforce. I wonder if it will be worth what some families have put their child through.

But I thought that Asians were perfect (at least according to most people on DCUM).

[Anonymous]

Blacks are lazy
Hispanics are Rapists
Asians are Strivers
Muslims are terrorists

The only good guys are the White dudes. <Eye Roll>.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blacks are lazy
Hispanics are Rapists
Asians are Strivers
Muslims are terrorists

The only good guys are the White dudes. <Eye Roll>.

According to the “wisdom” of DCUM, white dudes are the only bad guys. And, white women are the only ones who don’t age well. Plenty of white bashing here, probably mostly by lefty white people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There used to be a time when the Protestant work ethic used to be appreciated and emulated in this country.
We used to tell our kids, "No matter what your situation in life, take it in stride and work hard and you will get past the hump"
Now working hard and persevering is an insult?

There is also a racist element to this put down. I've seen it used frequently on Asians. Sad state of affairs.

OP, more often than not, the striver kids (sic) are the kids whose parents are trying to live vicariously. That is the actual put down, and there is some truth to the scorn.