What's with the constant put down here of hardworking kids as "Striver" kids"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rail against people who design a kids' whole childhood (i.e.,their SUPPOSED interests, extra-curricular activities, summers) to line up with a pre-destined path that will push them into some future that is impressive to wealthy others. That allow their children to take so many AP's that it requires insufficient sleep, caffeine (or worse ) for children to get a GPA that puts them ahead of their peers in the eyes of HYP. It is not healthy, and it is not being done for pro-social reasons. It is being done to beat out others.

Bingo. It’s transparent and desperate and then they wonder why their kid doesn’t have “cool” (read: rich and popular) friends or doesn’t get into top college or doesn’t get big promotion at work. It’s not racism, it’s because your family is painfully ANNOYING and fake. It’s transparent to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Racism. Feeling threatened by non-legacy Asian American kids who get better grades, higher test scores, and admission slots.

+1 - it's pathetic white grievance that is the flip side of their disdain for 'unqualified' URMs. They need something to put down Asians who work harder and with better results than their mediocre children. White people think merit should matter, but only to a point, because anyone who does better than them is also cheating the system. It's all a construct to justify why white kids should get everything.

If you don't understand the difference between "striver' and "hard worker", it's a social skills issue. Might point to why someone got marked down for personality on your Ivy interview.

+1, words have nuance, being hyper literal is an impediment (I don't believe this trait correlates with race, but it does correlate with poor interview ratings in all walks of life, as it should).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rail against people who design a kids' whole childhood (i.e.,their SUPPOSED interests, extra-curricular activities, summers) to line up with a pre-destined path that will push them into some future that is impressive to wealthy others. That allow their children to take so many AP's that it requires insufficient sleep, caffeine (or worse ) for children to get a GPA that puts them ahead of their peers in the eyes of HYP. It is not healthy, and it is not being done for pro-social reasons. It is being done to beat out others.

Bingo. It’s transparent and desperate and then they wonder why their kid doesn’t have “cool” (read: rich and popular) friends or doesn’t get into top college or doesn’t get big promotion at work. It’s not racism, it’s because your family is painfully ANNOYING and fake. It’s transparent to everyone.

You are disgusting.

[Anonymous]

It's a conspiracy. Strivers put out word that it's lame to work hard, and that weeds out many of the sheep. More for the conniving strivers to grab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rail against people who design a kids' whole childhood (i.e.,their SUPPOSED interests, extra-curricular activities, summers) to line up with a pre-destined path that will push them into some future that is impressive to wealthy others. That allow their children to take so many AP's that it requires insufficient sleep, caffeine (or worse ) for children to get a GPA that puts them ahead of their peers in the eyes of HYP. It is not healthy, and it is not being done for pro-social reasons. It is being done to beat out others.

Bingo. It’s transparent and desperate and then they wonder why their kid doesn’t have “cool” (read: rich and popular) friends or doesn’t get into top college or doesn’t get big promotion at work. It’s not racism, it’s because your family is painfully ANNOYING and fake. It’s transparent to everyone.

You are disgusting.

You've lost the throughline.

[Anonymous]

I've been accused of being a striver on this forum.

Little do you know that in addition to my son working his ass off to get a perfect ACT score, high GPA, and great EC's, we have multiple connections that helped him get into his first choice school. You can work hard and still have wealth and connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I hear of it, I think of the stereotype from my college days of Asian / SE Asian pre-med students. Everyone at my school knew there was a subset who cheated in Organic Chemistry.

Here’s how I think of it-

Grit / work ethic = loves to learn, dreams of being a Dr to help people, studies day and night, goes to all the office hours and review sessions, really seeks to understand for the sake of knowledge.

Striver = wants to be a Dr because of the perception of wealth and status, works hard and studies but also looks for any advantage like being drinking buddies with the TA, getting prior semester tests to study from, and sometimes cheating.

Striving to me is not about the effort made, but the goal of the effort. Are you studying to master the material or to get an A for your GPA. Are you volunteering because the cause is something you believe in or because it will look good on your applications.

I think this post sums it up really well.

Thanks. I was a striver. I was a middle class kid with a teacher mom and a factory worker dad who picked what was at the time the highest paid undergrad major - chemical engineering. All I cared about was what job I could get if my grades were good. I did well on tests, but years later I remember nothing. I went into consulting. My HS and College years were like Tracy Flick in the movie Election. There isn’t a club I didn’t join or an activity I didn’t do. My college application list of ECs and leadership positions was 2 pages. I would have knocked down my best friends and stepped over them if they got in the way of me being valedictorian. I am not proud of this. I want something different for my kids even if it means they won’t go to tippy top name brand schools. I came from a family without money and it’s all I wanted in my teens and 20s.

My husband has work ethic and a real passion for science. He is a white, 3rd gen Ivy legacy, full pay. He has his PhD in engineering and I get the impression that he never worried about grades. He just “did his best” and “studied what seemed interesting”. Hopefully if the world keeps moving towards being a better and more inclusive space my son’s will not benefit from the massive amount of privilege my husband did and will find their way mostly on their own merited. My husband is smart and a super nice guy who is well liked by his coworkers, but he’s pretty average in terms of kids in N. Arlington. He grew up in an East coast town that looks a lot like Bethesda. He works as a GS 13 scientist. He will never be a high earner but he’s doing what he loves. He came from a family with money and had this attitude that he could just follow his passion and it would all work out. He would not care if our household income was significantly less.

[Anonymous]

“Striver” is what lazy, mediocre rich people call smart, ambitious, hard-working people. The to-the-manor-born sense of entitlement behind this label starts out ridiculous and becomes really laughable when it morphs into references to “the cool kids.” It’s like Downton Abbey mashed up with a bad YA novel.

[Anonymous]

It has NOTHING to do with kids who are hard working because they want to truly be. It has everything to do with he force parents put on their kids and how they feel this pressure to do it to not disappoint them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Racism. Feeling threatened by non-legacy Asian American kids who get better grades, higher test scores, and admission slots.

+1 - it's pathetic white grievance that is the flip side of their disdain for 'unqualified' URMs. They need something to put down Asians who work harder and with better results than their mediocre children. White people think merit should matter, but only to a point, because anyone who does better than them is also cheating the system. It's all a construct to justify why white kids should get everything.

If you don't understand the difference between "striver' and "hard worker", it's a social skills issue. Might point to why someone got marked down for personality on your Ivy interview.

Your social skills are really impressive. I'm sure it's this kind of attitude that Ivies love.

BTW, perhaps I'll see you at our next Ivy reunion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has NOTHING to do with kids who are hard working because they want to truly be. It has everything to do with he force parents put on their kids and how they feel this pressure to do it to not disappoint them.

this is a lame hedge against what you really meant. you're being called for being antithetical to what America is about and now you're frantically backtracking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Racism. Feeling threatened by non-legacy Asian American kids who get better grades, higher test scores, and admission slots.

+1 - it's pathetic white grievance that is the flip side of their disdain for 'unqualified' URMs. They need something to put down Asians who work harder and with better results than their mediocre children. White people think merit should matter, but only to a point, because anyone who does better than them is also cheating the system. It's all a construct to justify why white kids should get everything.

If you don't understand the difference between "striver' and "hard worker", it's a social skills issue. Might point to why someone got marked down for personality on your Ivy interview.

Your social skills are really impressive. I'm sure it's this kind of attitude that Ivies love.

BTW, perhaps I'll see you at our next Ivy reunion.

Nah, I had a hook, I don't need to go to the reunions. I will see you at my family's fundraisers, where you are striving to get to know me better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has NOTHING to do with kids who are hard working because they want to truly be. It has everything to do with he force parents put on their kids and how they feel this pressure to do it to not disappoint them.

this is a lame hedge against what you really meant. you're being called for being antithetical to what America is about and now you're frantically backtracking.

No. If you truly understood the meaning of American Dream you would understand you are falling into the false understanding that it is about money...

It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position - James Truslow Adams

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Racism. Feeling threatened by non-legacy Asian American kids who get better grades, higher test scores, and admission slots.

+1 - it's pathetic white grievance that is the flip side of their disdain for 'unqualified' URMs. They need something to put down Asians who work harder and with better results than their mediocre children. White people think merit should matter, but only to a point, because anyone who does better than them is also cheating the system. It's all a construct to justify why white kids should get everything.

If you don't understand the difference between "striver' and "hard worker", it's a social skills issue. Might point to why someone got marked down for personality on your Ivy interview.

Your social skills are really impressive. I'm sure it's this kind of attitude that Ivies love.

BTW, perhaps I'll see you at our next Ivy reunion.

Nah, I had a hook, I don't need to go to the reunions. I will see you at my family's fundraisers, where you are striving to get to know me better.

If you saw my bank account, you'd be dying to get to know me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has NOTHING to do with kids who are hard working because they want to truly be. It has everything to do with he force parents put on their kids and how they feel this pressure to do it to not disappoint them.

this is a lame hedge against what you really meant. you're being called for being antithetical to what America is about and now you're frantically backtracking.

No. If you truly understood the meaning of American Dream you would understand you are falling into the false understanding that it is about money...

It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position - James Truslow Adams

Right - it's 'that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement'. Except if you achieve too much, because then we will insult you.