The reason I can't go with DE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people understand parenting to be more than raising your gentic offspring. Actually the vast majority of parents get that. Spend some time changing diapers and teaching your kid to read and saving for college and you’ll see what parenting is alll about.

My kids are teens and I still wouldn't do DE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people understand parenting to be more than raising your gentic offspring. Actually the vast majority of parents get that. Spend some time changing diapers and teaching your kid to read and saving for college and you’ll see what parenting is alll about.

My kids are teens and I still wouldn't do DE.

OP is a cruel troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - Let me add that in case of a divorce and if a legal mother gets full custody you are basically in for a life of raising a child that is genetically someone else's plus from a husband you divorced. I understand that many women place a lot of emphasis on gestation but per my first post I see it the same as surrogate. One could argue that a surrogate that carries fetus of a couple that cannot carry should also play a huge role in a baby's life.
I feel that with encoded genetics of someone else you are simply helping that woman reproduce. It is the genes of all her ancestors passed down in your child. Yes, you can influence a child. But that brings us down to debate of nature vs nurture and many, many new studies have shown that nature wins.
Thirdly, you cannot erase a donor. It's not something that cannot conveniently be swept up under a rug. A donor is present in every fiber of your child. So, that is a third person in marriage.

That is a fascinating and very apt way of describing it.

100% true statement. If you cannot accept that don’t do DE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - Let me add that in case of a divorce and if a legal mother gets full custody you are basically in for a life of raising a child that is genetically someone else's plus from a husband you divorced. I understand that many women place a lot of emphasis on gestation but per my first post I see it the same as surrogate. One could argue that a surrogate that carries fetus of a couple that cannot carry should also play a huge role in a baby's life.
I feel that with encoded genetics of someone else you are simply helping that woman reproduce. It is the genes of all her ancestors passed down in your child. Yes, you can influence a child. But that brings us down to debate of nature vs nurture and many, many new studies have shown that nature wins.
Thirdly, you cannot erase a donor. It's not something that cannot conveniently be swept up under a rug. A donor is present in every fiber of your child. So, that is a third person in marriage.

That is a fascinating and very apt way of describing it.

100% true statement. If you cannot accept that don’t do DE.

That’s why it’s callled third party reproduction, as there is a third part involved in what would historically be intimate, emotional, and exclusive creation between two people only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people understand parenting to be more than raising your gentic offspring. Actually the vast majority of parents get that. Spend some time changing diapers and teaching your kid to read and saving for college and you’ll see what parenting is alll about.

My kids are teens and I still wouldn't do DE.

OP is a cruel troll.

+1000 and its important to call this out so that ppl who stumble on this thread dont walk away with the wrong impression bc of a stilted, biased discussion.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why this thread is not locked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why this thread is not locked.

I am wondering the same.

[Anonymous]

I didn't want to do DE because of the power dynamics with my now ex-husband. But I totally believe that, whether or adoption or donor-conceived, I would love my baby with every fiber in my being. A tiny being that depends on you for nurturing and growth - there is no genetic link required for that pure loving bond.

[Anonymous]

What a horrible and miserable thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why this thread is not locked.

I am wondering the same.

oP is a troll. Jeff outed her. She posts as an infertile woman on this thread and says she’s in her second trimester on other threads.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/797265.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post does feel a little like someone’s trying to convince others. Donor eggs are pretty much my last stop on this train and none of your arguments make a dent in how I feel at all. If you truly feel this way then, donor eggs aren’t for you and that’s ok.

I appreciate hearing a perspective that I haven't heard before. Please stop trying to shut her down. - New poster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post does feel a little like someone’s trying to convince others. Donor eggs are pretty much my last stop on this train and none of your arguments make a dent in how I feel at all. If you truly feel this way then, donor eggs aren’t for you and that’s ok.

I appreciate hearing a perspective that I haven't heard before. Please stop trying to shut her down. - New poster

She's already been outed as a troll. See above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post does feel a little like someone’s trying to convince others. Donor eggs are pretty much my last stop on this train and none of your arguments make a dent in how I feel at all. If you truly feel this way then, donor eggs aren’t for you and that’s ok.

I appreciate hearing a perspective that I haven't heard before. Please stop trying to shut her down. - New poster

Keep up. OP's a troll unless you are the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post does feel a little like someone’s trying to convince others. Donor eggs are pretty much my last stop on this train and none of your arguments make a dent in how I feel at all. If you truly feel this way then, donor eggs aren’t for you and that’s ok.

I appreciate hearing a perspective that I haven't heard before. Please stop trying to shut her down. - New poster

Op here - thank you.
From the get go there were few haters on this thread trying to shut me down. They have a very strong motivation: fear. They don't want to allow a different perspective here because they fear that something could happen in the world where too many people think or choose differently than them. That would shake up and undermine their world. So, they want to shut down that discussion/s. That is fairly common these days - shutting down discussions.
Let me say and repeat that I am not a troll and a horrible person person they describe me as. But I will not write about particulars of my private life here to justify myself in front of few people that insult me. They, in all their false moral superiority, called me awful names and insulted me multiple times while I never did that to them. Many points were presented by myself and other posters willing to discuss in civil manner. But the few haters stifled the good discussion. At least 10 posters agreed or semi-agreed with me. People have interest in this topic. People want to know about this perspective but are afraid to bring it up because of the rabid haters who proved who they are through horrible insults. They must really be in fear. In fear that donors, donor recipients, and donor children might in future demand a different and more inclusive family structure. Whether the haters "shut me down" there is nothing stopping that change.

[Anonymous]

Give it up, OP. And get some help. Mental illness is not fun.