I have STD symptoms. Did my wife cheat on me during her maternity leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I agree. So the test will almost certainly show a non STD infection

But if it does and my only sexual contact was with my wife... Well you do the math

Maybe you have a dormant infection? Have you even told your wife about this or are you waiting for "the evidence"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was startled to have my ob/gyn casually mention a positive hpv test while going over detail shortly before birth. I’d always tested negative in the past. I had no idea it could be asymptotic, go dormant, then surface years later. My partner is currently negative and from what I can tell, so am
I as my pap is once again entirely normal. My doc says we both could be carriers.

HPV IS NOT THE SAME AS HSV1 OR HSV2.

No shit. Not everyone is emotionally invested enough here to read every post, I didn’t see herpes specified. Step away from the all caps before you blow a blood vessel.

You're not very bright, are you? Thanks for sharing your HPV diagnosis. We're all rooting for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a real post. OP hasn’t come back to provide any details re symptoms because he doesn’t know what to say that will sound credible.

This forum is anonymous but I still don't feel like sharing my exact symptoms

I think an STD is not likely, but I thought it was interesting to start this thread

To be honest, it has actually been helpful in making me think it's quite unlikely it is an STD. I'll get the results soon

It will either be validation that my wife didn't cheat while pregnant or (less likely) on leave or it will be a live preview of the end of my marriage for everyone to gawk at

If you really are married, you need to sit down and think about your life.

What is so controversial about what I said?

I am not wasting my time on explaining why your tone, your choice of language, and your presentation of details is such a poor reflection on you as a man and as a husband.

I'll spend my time being glad I don't have to be married to you and feeling sorry for your wife. Get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was startled to have my ob/gyn casually mention a positive hpv test while going over detail shortly before birth. I’d always tested negative in the past. I had no idea it could be asymptotic, go dormant, then surface years later. My partner is currently negative and from what I can tell, so am
I as my pap is once again entirely normal. My doc says we both could be carriers.

HPV IS NOT THE SAME AS HSV1 OR HSV2.

No shit. Not everyone is emotionally invested enough here to read every post, I didn’t see herpes specified. Step away from the all caps before you blow a blood vessel.

You're not very bright, are you? Thanks for sharing your HPV diagnosis. We're all rooting for you.

Charming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I agree. So the test will almost certainly show a non STD infection

But if it does and my only sexual contact was with my wife... Well you do the math

Maybe you have a dormant infection? Have you even told your wife about this or are you waiting for "the evidence"?

It really can be something you’ve had since your first sexual contact. Speak with your doctor. And your wife. This is paranoia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating during maternity leave is a ridiculous idea, unless her maternity leave was two years long.

Cheating during pregnancy, however, could happen. Some men have a weird pregnancy kink, and some pregnant women get very horny.

Don't they check for STDs before birth though?

Yes. At least it was standard procedure to check all patients for STDs when I was pregnant.

I can't imagine an exhausted woman who is recovering from childbirth and taking care of a newborn 24/7 cheating on her husband. That just does not seem likely at all.

No. They do not test for herpes. It has never been standard procedure. You would need to specifically ask for the blood test for HSV.

They ask you about it and you go to umpteen million prenatal appts before your baby is born. If something like that is going on down there the doctor is going to notice it.

I do not think that Op's wife suddenly became contagious with Herpes years after they got married and while she happened to be on maternity leave. She has probably been to the doctor since the birth for a follow up appt. Yet, the doctor noticed no symptoms?

Whatever is wrong with Op is probably not his wife's doing.

Uh, no. Not if you're asymptomatic.

Herpes often lies dormant for many years. Childbirth is frequently a catalyst for initial outbeaks.

Please do not bother replying to threads if you have nothing of value to add.

+1 Pregnancy was what brought on my initial outbreak of herpes. I only had a handful of partners before marriage and my husband was -and 15 years later- still is HSV negative thanks to Valtrex. It sucks but it happens and it's not the end of the world. And all the PPs are right. My doctor told me that the standard STD panel doesn't test for herpes unless you roll up with what looks like an active outbreak.

Did you go throughout your pregnancy, childbirth and post natal appts w/o your doctor noticing your outbreaks? That really seems extremely unlikely.

You're honestly so dense how do you not understand that a person can have the virus and shed the virus without ever having an outbreak?

If it's so easy to infect another person while you have no symptoms then it would also make sense that you could infect your newborn if you had no symptoms.

Herpes can blind a baby you would think that they would test all pregnant women if there was a risk of an asymptomatic transmission.

They do test all women. They just don't tell you that you are doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating during maternity leave is a ridiculous idea, unless her maternity leave was two years long.

Cheating during pregnancy, however, could happen. Some men have a weird pregnancy kink, and some pregnant women get very horny.

Don't they check for STDs before birth though?

Yes. At least it was standard procedure to check all patients for STDs when I was pregnant.

I can't imagine an exhausted woman who is recovering from childbirth and taking care of a newborn 24/7 cheating on her husband. That just does not seem likely at all.

No. They do not test for herpes. It has never been standard procedure. You would need to specifically ask for the blood test for HSV.

They ask you about it and you go to umpteen million prenatal appts before your baby is born. If something like that is going on down there the doctor is going to notice it.

I do not think that Op's wife suddenly became contagious with Herpes years after they got married and while she happened to be on maternity leave. She has probably been to the doctor since the birth for a follow up appt. Yet, the doctor noticed no symptoms?

Whatever is wrong with Op is probably not his wife's doing.

Uh, no. Not if you're asymptomatic.

Herpes often lies dormant for many years. Childbirth is frequently a catalyst for initial outbeaks.

Please do not bother replying to threads if you have nothing of value to add.

+1 Pregnancy was what brought on my initial outbreak of herpes. I only had a handful of partners before marriage and my husband was -and 15 years later- still is HSV negative thanks to Valtrex. It sucks but it happens and it's not the end of the world. And all the PPs are right. My doctor told me that the standard STD panel doesn't test for herpes unless you roll up with what looks like an active outbreak.

Did you go throughout your pregnancy, childbirth and post natal appts w/o your doctor noticing your outbreaks? That really seems extremely unlikely.

You're honestly so dense how do you not understand that a person can have the virus and shed the virus without ever having an outbreak?

If it's so easy to infect another person while you have no symptoms then it would also make sense that you could infect your newborn if you had no symptoms.

Herpes can blind a baby you would think that they would test all pregnant women if there was a risk of an asymptomatic transmission.

They do test all women. They just don't tell you that you are doing it.

When I was pregnant the OB/GYN tested for STDs at the beginning of the pregnancy and also at some point during the 3rd trimester. They did this for all of their pregnant patients and they would have told me about a positive result. I can't imagine a doctor withholding information like that from their patient.

I honestly don't remember what all was tested for in the full range of STDs test.

[Anonymous]

^just googled what a full range STD test tests for and Herpes 1 and 2 appear to be included in the test. So if Op was tested like I was during pregnancy...and the test was negative....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^just googled what a full range STD test tests for and Herpes 1 and 2 appear to be included in the test. So if Op was tested like I was during pregnancy...and the test was negative....

By the use of the ellipses, are you intending to imply that OP's wife was tested for HSV as a part of routine OB/Gyne pregnancy screening? Because it is not a part of routine pregnancy screening. If you believe it is, please cite your source.

ACOG does not recommend a "full range STD test" for pregnant women. The recommended testing specifically includes reliable and consistent tests for which the condition would not be otherwise apparent, would pose significantly increased risk during pregnancy or delivery, and for which there is effective intervention.

Here is what ACOG recommends as standard screening re: STIs during pregnancy:

1. Hepatitis B (technically also an STI)
2. STIs
- a. Syphilis
- b. Chlamydia
- c. Gonorrhea IF there are additional risk factors
- d. HIV

reference:
https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Routine-Tests-During-Pregnancy#pregnant

A given medical care provider might do or recommend additional testing, but that would not be a part of the universal American guidelines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a real post. OP hasn’t come back to provide any details re symptoms because he doesn’t know what to say that will sound credible.

This forum is anonymous but I still don't feel like sharing my exact symptoms

I think an STD is not likely, but I thought it was interesting to start this thread

To be honest, it has actually been helpful in making me think it's quite unlikely it is an STD. I'll get the results soon

It will either be validation that my wife didn't cheat while pregnant or (less likely) on leave or it will be a live preview of the end of my marriage for everyone to gawk at

If that’s your takeaway from all these posts, plus your uninformed and erroneous assumptions about your friend’s widow, I think you’re the problem. You are suspicious of women.

Huh? I'm op, not the poster who talked about a widow

Sorry, thought you were the same person. Both of you are assuming the worst about a woman, even though the odds you’re right are extremely unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^just googled what a full range STD test tests for and Herpes 1 and 2 appear to be included in the test. So if Op was tested like I was during pregnancy...and the test was negative....

By the use of the ellipses, are you intending to imply that OP's wife was tested for HSV as a part of routine OB/Gyne pregnancy screening? Because it is not a part of routine pregnancy screening. If you believe it is, please cite your source.

ACOG does not recommend a "full range STD test" for pregnant women. The recommended testing specifically includes reliable and consistent tests for which the condition would not be otherwise apparent, would pose significantly increased risk during pregnancy or delivery, and for which there is effective intervention.

Here is what ACOG recommends as standard screening re: STIs during pregnancy:

1. Hepatitis B (technically also an STI)
2. STIs
- a. Syphilis
- b. Chlamydia
- c. Gonorrhea IF there are additional risk factors
- d. HIV

reference:
https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Routine-Tests-During-Pregnancy#pregnant

A given medical care provider might do or recommend additional testing, but that would not be a part of the universal American guidelines.

I can only tell you that I was given two full range STD tests during both of my pregnancies. Same health provider who tended to err on the side of caution with their patients. I seem to remember that Herpes 1 and 2 were included in that full range test but I honestly do not remember for certain. "Full range" would indicate that Herpes 1 & 2 were covered though.

Of course I don't know if Op's wife was also tested for STDs or what kind of test she was given. That's the "if" part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a real post. OP hasn’t come back to provide any details re symptoms because he doesn’t know what to say that will sound credible.

This forum is anonymous but I still don't feel like sharing my exact symptoms

I think an STD is not likely, but I thought it was interesting to start this thread

To be honest, it has actually been helpful in making me think it's quite unlikely it is an STD. I'll get the results soon

It will either be validation that my wife didn't cheat while pregnant or (less likely) on leave or it will be a live preview of the end of my marriage for everyone to gawk at

If that’s your takeaway from all these posts, plus your uninformed and erroneous assumptions about your friend’s widow, I think you’re the problem. You are suspicious of women.

Huh? I'm op, not the poster who talked about a widow

Sorry, thought you were the same person. Both of you are assuming the worst about a woman, even though the odds you’re right are extremely unlikely.

It's a very big "if," given that it isn't standard practice. What happened in your case actually sheds no light on what happened for OP's wife.

If you putz around with ellipses, you imply that it does in some way. Don't do that.

[Anonymous]

^I think you quoted the wrong poster but I'm not sure.

At any rate, you are assuming 1) That Op's wife was NOT tested for Herpes 2) Never had an outbreak that her doctor saw and never brought an outbreak to her doctor's attention. And Op never noticed an outbreak on his wife while he was having sex with her.

I think that it is very unlikely.

[Anonymous]

If you look at the complications that can arise in newborns exposed to Herpes...it is sort of crazy that it isn't standard procedure to test for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^I think you quoted the wrong poster but I'm not sure.

At any rate, you are assuming 1) That Op's wife was NOT tested for Herpes 2) Never had an outbreak that her doctor saw and never brought an outbreak to her doctor's attention. And Op never noticed an outbreak on his wife while he was having sex with her.

I think that it is very unlikely.

1. I'm not assuming anything.

2. I'm saying that it is irresponsible to assume a medical provider would necessarily do testing above and beyond the standard recommendations without any additional reason to think so.

3. That's it.