Should I include being vegan in my dating profile?

[Anonymous]

OP, I would mention it because it can be a deal breaker for some people and why not get that out of the way at the beginning? When I was online dating I had someone not mention something very big about themselves on their profile but said something about it about halfway through the date. At that point it was over. I understand that maybe they were trying to get someone to somehow fall in love with them and then not care about this, but it didn't work and it just came across as sneaky. I put stuff in my profile that were deal breakers (i.e. I refuse to date a smoker or someone who has cats because I'm extremely allergic). I could have not put that in there, but then I would have had to weed those people out. Being vegan is a pretty significant part of your life, since people eat multiple times a day, so I would bring it up to avoid the people who would be turned off by it. In case I'm not clear, I would do it, but I would do it for YOUR benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

Dude. I've never in my life ment a carnivore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

No, he isn't.

Really? This Sunday, he made some kind of super expensive three meat chili with meat from whole foods that cost more than I care to think about. ? All organic, all free range, super spiced

On the side, he made me an incredibly tasty version of spicy chili without the meat.

For Thanksgiving, here and my kid had some 6 course tasting menu that included vegan butternut squash soup, turkey carpaccio and sweetbreads. I would say those are adventurous foodie foods for foodies.

Tonight, he's making us Margharita Pizza in his pizza oven with the dough that he makes himself. And his homemade pizza sauce.

I could go on about the excellent experience restaurants we go to, but you won't believe me anyway.

I certainly have known plenty of picky eaters who are not vegan or vegetarian and they are bigger pain to deal with then veg people. Half the time, the food is too spicy or the cheese is too weird or the meat isn't cooked enough for these people

This is precisely, as someone who loves to cook, why I would not date a vegan. I would not want to be a short order cook around someone's restrictive diet. Not sure why you are so offended. Not everyone wants all that hassle in their lives. It does everyone a favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

How nice for you. BTW, most people are omnivores, not carnivores.

Wow. Cool response. I think you get my point. You are just choosing not to deal with that by adding snark.

Choosing not to date a vegan is a limitation on YOUR part.

Choosing not to date a specific vegan is a different matter altogether.

It's a limitation alot of people have. I think op would be smart to put it in the profile. I wouldn't date a vegan - I eat too much meat too often to deal with that in a partner. I'm not judging anyone who is, I just don't want to deal with it in my own life.

Yes you are judging. What exactly would you be dealing with by having a girlfriend who is a vegan? As pp said this is your own issue and dare I say immaturity.

That’s not judging. I cook a lot, often with meat. I just wouldn’t want to have a partner who couldn’t eat the food I cooked. I wouldn’t want to spend my life not sharing meals. It’s a basic, every-day part of life. I don’t understand why you seem to be taking it personally. And I date men, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Just to be clear, there is more than one poster responding to the anti-vegan, anti vegetarian posters. As far as I can see, no one is taking it personally. People keep throwing that out in response to some people's posts because it's an easy way to dismiss ideas. But it's not what's actually happening

[Anonymous]

I think the meat eaters berating the vegan wife for being difficult and her poor husband for buying his chili meat at whole foods are being aholes (but I do agree on turkey carpaccio, like wtf are you sure that is what he made because you shouldn't let your kid eat undercooked poultry). You guys are being ridiculous, she could totally be in a happy marriage with a guy who is a foodie who doesn't mind cooking her extra meals. Just because that guy exists doesn't mean that guy is you.

But to you happily married vegan wife. It actually IS annoying to have to be cooking two meals a lot of the time. And for me, as the chef in my family, I would be bummed out if most of the time I was only cooking for one. Sure I'd like to try some awesome vegan restaurant or dish, but I wouldn't want that every night or even semi regularly. Eating is a big part of a lot of cultures and a big part of a lot of people's days. I too would not want to date a vegan because it would be really difficult. I wouldn't mind a vegetarian as much but even that would be a big adjustment. It sounds like your husband is the chef at your house, he takes on a significant burden that most people handling daily meals for a family don't have to take on for you.

It is fine to not want to date vegans for the same reason you might not want to date a musician or a truck driver or someone in the military. Their lives require certain sacrifices of their partners. Some people think those sacrifices are NBD, some think they are too much. It is fine to be in either group. One group doesn't have to be 'wrong' or 'evil' when we're talking about choosing romantic partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

No, he isn't.

Really? This Sunday, he made some kind of super expensive three meat chili with meat from whole foods that cost more than I care to think about. ? All organic, all free range, super spiced

On the side, he made me an incredibly tasty version of spicy chili without the meat.

For Thanksgiving, here and my kid had some 6 course tasting menu that included vegan butternut squash soup, turkey carpaccio and sweetbreads. I would say those are adventurous foodie foods for foodies.

Tonight, he's making us Margharita Pizza in his pizza oven with the dough that he makes himself. And his homemade pizza sauce.

I could go on about the excellent experience restaurants we go to, but you won't believe me anyway.

I certainly have known plenty of picky eaters who are not vegan or vegetarian and they are bigger pain to deal with then veg people. Half the time, the food is too spicy or the cheese is too weird or the meat isn't cooked enough for these people

This is precisely, as someone who loves to cook, why I would not date a vegan. I would not want to be a short order cook around someone's restrictive diet. Not sure why you are so offended. Not everyone wants all that hassle in their lives. It does everyone a favor.

I respect that this is a limitation for you that you do not want to deal with. Fine. But that doesn't mean it is a hassle for our family or that it is necessary to reduce my husband's Love of cooking and adapting dishes to being a short-order cook. He just sees things differently than you.

my only point, is is that mixed dietary households are not de facto a hassle

[Anonymous]

You need to list it. Don't waste your time or anyone else's. I like to travel and one of my favorite things to do when traveling is to experience a culture via food. No way in HELL would I want to be in Thailand, Peru, or frankly ANY country other than India with a Vegan. Actually scrap India, they use ghee. A vegan would be a deal breaker for a LTR. However I'm sure there are a ton of people would would still want to date you. Especially people who are into food.

[Anonymous]

No need to put it. It's like social smoking. I have a friend who smokes when she drinks like once a month and never mentions it on her profiles. In DC, she found that maybe half her dates smoked.

[Anonymous]

I have celiac disease and I would list being gluten free on my dating profile. Its not that big a deal at home but it is challenging when traveling, and some people are really into desserts which isn't the best fit for my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No need to put it. It's like social smoking. I have a friend who smokes when she drinks like once a month and never mentions it on her profiles. In DC, she found that maybe half her dates smoked.

Its not like social smoking unless its social veganism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I respect that this is a limitation for you that you do not want to deal with. Fine. But that doesn't mean it is a hassle for our family or that it is necessary to reduce my husband's Love of cooking and adapting dishes to being a short-order cook. He just sees things differently than you.

my only point, is is that mixed dietary households are not de facto a hassle

DP. I agree with you. And circling back, this is why OP needs to list it in her profile. Those guys who think it is a hassle are not worth her time to even go on a date with. Those who are open to the idea, comfortable with the idea, or similarly inclined are the target pool for her dating circle. It just saves everyone time if she puts it down so those who would make an issue of it don't bother to respond. It gets to her to the correct potential pool of dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have celiac disease and I would list being gluten free on my dating profile. Its not that big a deal at home but it is challenging when traveling, and some people are really into desserts which isn't the best fit for my life.

Celiac is tough. I'm sorry. My best friend has celiac and our nights out are always challenging, if fun...me being a vegan and all. I always remind myself that being vegan is a choice. Her dietary choices were taken from her. However, there is some overlap in our favorite foods so it tends to work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I respect that this is a limitation for you that you do not want to deal with. Fine. But that doesn't mean it is a hassle for our family or that it is necessary to reduce my husband's Love of cooking and adapting dishes to being a short-order cook. He just sees things differently than you.

my only point, is is that mixed dietary households are not de facto a hassle

DP. I agree with you. And circling back, this is why OP needs to list it in her profile. Those guys who think it is a hassle are not worth her time to even go on a date with. Those who are open to the idea, comfortable with the idea, or similarly inclined are the target pool for her dating circle. It just saves everyone time if she puts it down so those who would make an issue of it don't bother to respond. It gets to her to the correct potential pool of dates.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have celiac disease and I would list being gluten free on my dating profile. Its not that big a deal at home but it is challenging when traveling, and some people are really into desserts which isn't the best fit for my life.

Celiac is tough. I'm sorry. My best friend has celiac and our nights out are always challenging, if fun...me being a vegan and all. I always remind myself that being vegan is a choice. Her dietary choices were taken from her. However, there is some overlap in our favorite foods so it tends to work out.

My good friend is gluten free (not celiac) and she is an ENORMOUS pain in the ass to go to dinner with. We went to 930 the other night and there are a limited number of restaurants near there and she had to call all of them first, talk to a manager and find out all about their use of gluten. She chose Declaration (I had no say) and she grilled the waiter about their GF pizza crust and cross contamination.

To say the least, I'd never date a vegan. GF is a big enough pain. Cant imagine travel with a vegan. Best to list it. Then people can have the choice in they want all that drama around food in their lives.