Ladies did you have a salary requirement for a future husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Fair enough. I’ve never had a salary requirement because I suppose i always had an education requirment: must be a college graduate. I was never in a dating pool that included anyone who would be making $15k. But you know, no one who has said “yes I have a salary requirement” is saying it’s $50k. They’re saying $200k. This is the kind of salary requirement we can agree is ridiculous.

Here’s the thing though...isn’t your college requirement merely code switch for salary? I mean if you met a guy making $10M annually - are you gonna do a hard pass because he didn’t go to a university? Doesn’t a college degree mean, as you admit, that it automatically puts that person (generally speaking) into a certain economic scale? By making it a college requirement it may sound less gauche but...is it really?

[Anonymous]

Lol, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I had a similar list in my brain:

Had to be at least as educated as me (masters or above)
Had to own a condo or be saving for one (because I was)
No drugs
No dogs (because I wanted to get one and raise it together)
No cats (because they weird me out)
No one that came from a dysfunctional family (because I do and it really messes you up)

You would exclude a guy that already had a dog if he met your other requirements? Why can't you just get a second dog together? SMH.

[Anonymous]

So maybe a less outdated, sexist question is: did you have a socioeconomic requirement? For me, yes. I didn’t want to marry a lower class or blue collar man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So maybe a less outdated, sexist question is: did you have a socioeconomic requirement? For me, yes. I didn’t want to marry a lower class or blue collar man.

Bully for you.

[Anonymous]

I'm married. If I were single, I'd only be interested in men who made near the same ballpark as what I earn. I guess this equates to a salary requirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm married. If I were single, I'd only be interested in men who made near the same ballpark as what I earn. I guess this equates to a salary requirement.

+1 in college I dated for dimples, curly hair and an Adonis Belt.

If I were single now in my 30s you should be bringing something bigger than $200k to the table or I'd rather stay home and read a book.

[Anonymous]

I did not. I did not view marriage as a vehicle of getting ahead socially or financially, and I was pretty comfortable with what I was earning at the time and my lifestyle. Ended up marrying a guy who was making much less than I did and now, 10 yrs later, our earnings are still very different. Doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

No I married for love and it worked out well for me. Plus I am self sufficient and able to make my own way through life.

The only things I made sure were that our values were in line which meant he wasn't a gambler, had a job and was an average spender like myself. However those qualities are probably not what you are after.

For you, you should probably choose a male that will support the lifestyle you want. Put a dollar value on it and date accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Why do all these thinly veiled, misogynistic threads start with "Ladies....." I always picture a 60 year old gross old man trying to prove that, yes, he's right, and all women are gold diggers etc.

[Anonymous]

Not when I got married but as a divorcée someone who makes as much as I do or more.

[Anonymous]

My requirements were that he had to be kind, smart, an avid reader, consider himself a feminist, love music, travel, cinema, and good food, have a decent work ethic (not a workaholic, but a hard worker) and a sense of humor, want children, and preferably be liberal in his politics, though I would have considered a moderate. I hit the jackpot!

[Anonymous]

No.

But I am embarrassed to say I was dating a guy when I was in my early 20s and he was in his late 20s (about 2005) and I saw his pay stub. It was about $35K/year. I was surprised, it turned me off, and we fizzled. I am glad I ended up with my DH, but I feel bad when I think about that, wondering if it was because I was shallow.

[Anonymous]

Nope, but we met at 18. I don't think practical concerns or "potential" factored in either since our original life plans were mostly ridiculous hippie stuff (think 2000s equivalent of #vanlife). I started dating him bc I was attracted and committed because I learned his character and what a good guy he was.

[Anonymous]

For me this was a character issue. Was he earning enough to support himself? Was he living within his means? Was he saving anything for the future? Was he committed to doing a good job at work and being ethical? All of these answers were "yes" so I felt that he was a good match for me, in addition to all the other things I cared about.