homecoming and socially aggressive moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whitman homecoming wasn’t even a dance this year - it was an open to all festival / games night. My kids and their friends went and enjoyed, felt it was very low key.

I really like that idea. I wish that schools would just get rid of the dance part of homecoming and do something like this instead. It’s more inclusive and just more fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
As a foreigner, I have no idea what homecoming is. My son will be in high school next year. The parents appear very hands-off in his middle school, but perhaps I have this impression because my son doesn't run into the social circles with lots of parties? Or is this a thing for parents of girls, mostly?

Could someone please enlighten me? Thanks.

Since no one answered this for pp, “homecoming” is a tradition where alums of a school return to participate in a number of events. At high school that typically involves a football game. There is always a dance for current students, and it’s a big deal to some because underclassmen May participate, unlike prom which is typically only for juniors and seniors. For many kids, it is their first semi-formal dance. So factor in some overly anxious social climber moms and you can understand why you might see the behavior OP is describing.

[Anonymous]

Son is senior. Never witnessed this. Of course he’s also never been interested in going.

I do love that the homecoming court (school posted on fb which is how I saw it) all wore ripped jeans and casual everyday clothes. Very laid back, sort of an anti-court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed this in our 9th grade too. Perfect location, perfect camera, perfect lighting (which means they must have had to get there several hours before the dance started just for pictures.) A select group of kids with photos all over FB. Corsages, dinner at nice restaurants or the country club. Sounded a bit much for 9th grade. Maybe we'll work up to the big deal day-long event by Junior year.

Do people do this for Homecoming? I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

p

It's definitely big in the midwest where I’m from. In our MCPS district it doesn’t seem all that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whitman homecoming wasn’t even a dance this year - it was an open to all festival / games night. My kids and their friends went and enjoyed, felt it was very low key.

I really like that idea. I wish that schools would just get rid of the dance part of homecoming and do something like this instead. It’s more inclusive and just more fun.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has homecoming always been a big deal? I'm 47 and remember ring dance and prom, but don't even remember if I went to homecoming. My DD is a freshman and he had to buy her a semi formal dress, and she and her friends plan on going out to eat before as well. I honestly don't remember homecoming being a big deal at all when I was in school does this mean that between this and ring dance/prom I'm going to have to pay for six pricey dresses that she will never wear again during HS?

It was always a thing, but the moms who now are living over the top vicariously, are just sad.

Social media is the kerosene on this fire. There was always a mom group that went overboard, but it's definitely more intense now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has Homecoming at your child’s school brought out the worst in some moms? I’m talking about freshman in high school with their moms talking about it constantly for weeks and working behind the scenes to plan their cchild’s dates and pre-parties. For example, one started about a month in advance, calling many even people with children who aren’t her child’s good friends, and advised her child to wait to decide until the last minute to make sure the child had the most options and could go with the “best” possible party, then posted endless pictures on social media tagging everyone. Our child was there too, so this isn’t about being excluded, but it has been eye opening to see how involved some of moms are in their teenagers’ social lives, and I wondered if this is unique to our child’s school. Maybe it is because this is the first big event of the year.

+1


These moms have all girls, usually. Living vicariously. Want their daughter to be "popular" - date the "right" guy, etc. Sad. Does more damage than they know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As a foreigner, I have no idea what homecoming is. My son will be in high school next year. The parents appear very hands-off in his middle school, but perhaps I have this impression because my son doesn't run into the social circles with lots of parties? Or is this a thing for parents of girls, mostly?

Could someone please enlighten me? Thanks.

Since no one answered this for pp, “homecoming” is a tradition where alums of a school return to participate in a number of events. At high school that typically involves a football game. There is always a dance for current students, and it’s a big deal to some because underclassmen May participate, unlike prom which is typically only for juniors and seniors. For many kids, it is their first semi-formal dance. So factor in some overly anxious social climber moms and you can understand why you might see the behavior OP is describing.

Parents of girls who have have to prove. Run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has Homecoming at your child’s school brought out the worst in some moms? I’m talking about freshman in high school with their moms talking about it constantly for weeks and working behind the scenes to plan their cchild’s dates and pre-parties. For example, one started about a month in advance, calling many even people with children who aren’t her child’s good friends, and advised her child to wait to decide until the last minute to make sure the child had the most options and could go with the “best” possible party, then posted endless pictures on social media tagging everyone. Our child was there too, so this isn’t about being excluded, but it has been eye opening to see how involved some of moms are in their teenagers’ social lives, and I wondered if this is unique to our child’s school. Maybe it is because this is the first big event of the year.

you can't fix stupid. sounds like the parents are living vicariously thru their child. stage mom syndrome.?

Pretty much. The moms should be embarrassed, but they are too dim to be embarrassed.

Same moms who make their kids hang out with their drinking buddies' kid.

Serious issues.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t read the responses but yes this happens at our school, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has Homecoming at your child’s school brought out the worst in some moms? I’m talking about freshman in high school with their moms talking about it constantly for weeks and working behind the scenes to plan their cchild’s dates and pre-parties. For example, one started about a month in advance, calling many even people with children who aren’t her child’s good friends, and advised her child to wait to decide until the last minute to make sure the child had the most options and could go with the “best” possible party, then posted endless pictures on social media tagging everyone. Our child was there too, so this isn’t about being excluded, but it has been eye opening to see how involved some of moms are in their teenagers’ social lives, and I wondered if this is unique to our child’s school. Maybe it is because this is the first big event of the year.

you can't fix stupid. sounds like the parents are living vicariously thru their child. stage mom syndrome.?

Pretty much. The moms should be embarrassed, but they are too dim to be embarrassed.

Same moms who make their kids hang out with their drinking buddies' kid.

Serious issues.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has Homecoming at your child’s school brought out the worst in some moms? I’m talking about freshman in high school with their moms talking about it constantly for weeks and working behind the scenes to plan their cchild’s dates and pre-parties. For example, one started about a month in advance, calling many even people with children who aren’t her child’s good friends, and advised her child to wait to decide until the last minute to make sure the child had the most options and could go with the “best” possible party, then posted endless pictures on social media tagging everyone. Our child was there too, so this isn’t about being excluded, but it has been eye opening to see how involved some of moms are in their teenagers’ social lives, and I wondered if this is unique to our child’s school. Maybe it is because this is the first big event of the year.

+1


These moms have all girls, usually. Living vicariously. Want their daughter to be "popular" - date the "right" guy, etc. Sad. Does more damage than they know.

This is what we experienced this year for 9th. One mom orchestrated photos at her house, undermining the kids’ plan. Then Gaslighted everyone about it.
The plans went forward let her wishes. She had a full on glamour shots session for her daughters, which were then posted to SM. It was so completely bizarre. And how she handled it will make me work to ensure I have as few interactions with this woman as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has Homecoming at your child’s school brought out the worst in some moms? I’m talking about freshman in high school with their moms talking about it constantly for weeks and working behind the scenes to plan their cchild’s dates and pre-parties. For example, one started about a month in advance, calling many even people with children who aren’t her child’s good friends, and advised her child to wait to decide until the last minute to make sure the child had the most options and could go with the “best” possible party, then posted endless pictures on social media tagging everyone. Our child was there too, so this isn’t about being excluded, but it has been eye opening to see how involved some of moms are in their teenagers’ social lives, and I wondered if this is unique to our child’s school. Maybe it is because this is the first big event of the year.

+1


These moms have all girls, usually. Living vicariously. Want their daughter to be "popular" - date the "right" guy, etc. Sad. Does more damage than they know.

This is what we experienced this year for 9th. One mom orchestrated photos at her house, undermining the kids’ plan. Then Gaslighted everyone about it.
The plans went forward let her wishes. She had a full on glamour shots session for her daughters, which were then posted to SM. It was so completely bizarre. And how she handled it will make me work to ensure I have as few interactions with this woman as possible.

Does your kid have any desire to go? My lovely DD is very much not part of the in crowd but truly seems comfortable with that (I wish I had a fraction of her steel when I was her age). She was invited to one of these gatherings because she happens to be friends with someone in group. She told me that there is no way she is going to an activity hosted by Mrs. X because the woman is crazed. Then she gave me a hug and thanked me for being normal. She did go to the dance though and said it was fun but she never has to do it again. I love this girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has Homecoming at your child’s school brought out the worst in some moms? I’m talking about freshman in high school with their moms talking about it constantly for weeks and working behind the scenes to plan their cchild’s dates and pre-parties. For example, one started about a month in advance, calling many even people with children who aren’t her child’s good friends, and advised her child to wait to decide until the last minute to make sure the child had the most options and could go with the “best” possible party, then posted endless pictures on social media tagging everyone. Our child was there too, so this isn’t about being excluded, but it has been eye opening to see how involved some of moms are in their teenagers’ social lives, and I wondered if this is unique to our child’s school. Maybe it is because this is the first big event of the year.

+1


These moms have all girls, usually. Living vicariously. Want their daughter to be "popular" - date the "right" guy, etc. Sad. Does more damage than they know.

One daughter was in the thick of things being friends with girls with moms like that ^^. She "went to homecoming" with like 20 girls/several limos/professionally done hair and makeup and 1000% mean girl drama to last a life time. Lara's in, Stephanie's out, Ashley's in, Amelia's out, Lara's now out, Amelia's now in. DON'T EVER include Kylie....gross....

My other daughter went with three friends. Drove them and had a great time. But no social media brag photos. LOL

[Anonymous]

How utterly lame and pathetic of the parents

I would be embarrassed for them

Teens need to handle their own social lives. I don't get involved in that stuff and my kids don't want me to.