Minor rant: in Europe with completely useless in laws and a toddler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: my teen aged DDs were seasoned travelers but on an extended trip at about the week point like your ILs they just wanted familiarity. They found a place called Johnny Rockets (it truly wasn’t THE chain. I stomped off angry that they weren’t taking in all the culture etc etc. That recharged them and changed mood for all. Why not make tomorrow a super simple ‘familiar’ day for them. Your vision of breezing through all the sights and sounds obviously is not theirs. They are thrilled to be included so embrace that and see the trip from their eyes as much as you can.

I will try to do that for them. It’s a good idea.

This trip really was meant to be for them. They kept talking about wanting to go to London and Rome and were telling all their friends how amazing it is that we organized this trip. I never got the impression they thought being with our toddler was a hindrance; if anything they keep wanting more time with her. I think they just underestimated how unfamiliar everything would be (even in London!) and are overwhelmed. My MIL is significantly overweight and said her feet were swollen after 2 days. We’ve been really trying to keep things slow for them, especially after hearing that.

Huh. For some reason, that did not come across at all in your original post ...

Maybe try to remember that this trip is for them, and it sounds like they are very grateful to you and DH for planning it. Besides, it's not like this is your first time across the pond (as you told us in exhaustive detail), so a) they aren't ruining a once-in-a-lifetime trip for you and b) why WOULDN'T the more experienced traveler(s) in the group be the de facto leaders?

I talked about my previous travel in response to someone who asked about it.

[Anonymous]

I wrote that long post about my ILS in Europe... and then I saw OP's updates! You are nasty, even when my ILS were needy and all, we still did everything and made sure they had a nice time. I was writing more in good humor because the whole thing was funny. And you are yelling about some busses and cabs? Are you seriously expecting your ILS to figure out the bus system in London? I regret posting my reply now, I did it in fun, good natured way. OP, you are seriously nasty!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wrote that long post about my ILS in Europe... and then I saw OP's updates! You are nasty, even when my ILS were needy and all, we still did everything and made sure they had a nice time. I was writing more in good humor because the whole thing was funny. And you are yelling about some busses and cabs? Are you seriously expecting your ILS to figure out the bus system in London? I regret posting my reply now, I did it in fun, good natured way. OP, you are seriously nasty!

OP here. I’m confused because I don’t think I gave off that impression. I’m not expecting them to figure out the busses; I was hoping they’d ask, for example, “what street are you looking for” and try to look around. I have scheduled out everything to their specifications. I scheduled tea for them. I tried to do everything to make this nice for them. We have had more burgers than I can count because it’s what they want to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! OMG! So useless, like my ILS! They came to my wedding, to their son, and we took a train from one capital to the other, and then I got them a sleeping car, explained that it will be crazy busy and we have to be ready to leave the train half an hour before, my country was in huge economic crisis at that time, people swarming the train.... and they are SLEEPING when the train is about to leave for Romania! It was like taking care of the babies, they left early morning on my wedding night!!! And even though my cousin was there, took them, took care of everything, to the detail, they called us some 30 times at the hotel! And FIL brought two suitcases of food, that he didn't eat at all, and took it BACK! After seeing how bad my country was and that stores were empty(Balkan War.) Never, ever, ever, travel anywhere with your ILS. Now, my parents used to travel around Europe, but they don't speak English, and honest to God, my dad was able to drive and find his way, and my mom did the same exact thing your ILS did here. Somehow this same woman who vacationed in Greece was unable to go across the street unless I held her hand, just about! Yes, any travel involving parents is anathema to me! My mom got lost in our two street suburb! The only way to ever take older people anywhere is exactly how tourists from Asia do it. I am not kidding, rope around them, huge scarf above, every single step with a tour guide. What were you thinking?

So ... totally OT, but does anyone's mom still teach basic manners? You know, like: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

If it's any consolation, Romanian War Bride, you probably won't have to worry about your in-laws wanting to repeat the experience of international travel with you.

[Anonymous]

That sounds really frustrating, OP.

I do have to laugh over the ice, though - my own mother moved from the US to a European country 15 years ago and she is STILL complaining about the ice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One week into a two week trip to London and Rome with DH, his parents, and our 2 year old. We knew his parents hadn’t gone abroad before and spent their lives in the suburbs, but weren’t expecting them to be as useless as they are in helping with navigating or with the toddler. Example: DH had to do some work, so he stayed back at the hotel and the rest of us went out. I got a little turned around trying to find our bus stop and they literally just stood there saying and doing nothing while I tried to figure out where we needed to go. If DD is having a tantrum about something, they will also just stand and offer no assistance whatsoever.

They offered to babysit, which was great, but only did it if DH figured out how they could watch their TV shows on his laptop. MIL is also constantly complaining about the lack of ice in her drinks. This has become a huge issue.

Anyway, I know things could be much worse, but it’s frustrating feeling like we’re their tour operators.

Let me guess. They paid for your trip, OP?

That is what I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! OMG! So useless, like my ILS! They came to my wedding, to their son, and we took a train from one capital to the other, and then I got them a sleeping car, explained that it will be crazy busy and we have to be ready to leave the train half an hour before, my country was in huge economic crisis at that time, people swarming the train.... and they are SLEEPING when the train is about to leave for Romania! It was like taking care of the babies, they left early morning on my wedding night!!! And even though my cousin was there, took them, took care of everything, to the detail, they called us some 30 times at the hotel! And FIL brought two suitcases of food, that he didn't eat at all, and took it BACK! After seeing how bad my country was and that stores were empty(Balkan War.) Never, ever, ever, travel anywhere with your ILS. Now, my parents used to travel around Europe, but they don't speak English, and honest to God, my dad was able to drive and find his way, and my mom did the same exact thing your ILS did here. Somehow this same woman who vacationed in Greece was unable to go across the street unless I held her hand, just about! Yes, any travel involving parents is anathema to me! My mom got lost in our two street suburb! The only way to ever take older people anywhere is exactly how tourists from Asia do it. I am not kidding, rope around them, huge scarf above, every single step with a tour guide. What were you thinking?

So ... totally OT, but does anyone's mom still teach basic manners? You know, like: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

If it's any consolation, Romanian War Bride, you probably won't have to worry about your in-laws wanting to repeat the experience of international travel with you.

Now we all know why the old people tour and "see the world" on TOUR BUSES. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wrote that long post about my ILS in Europe... and then I saw OP's updates! You are nasty, even when my ILS were needy and all, we still did everything and made sure they had a nice time. I was writing more in good humor because the whole thing was funny. And you are yelling about some busses and cabs? Are you seriously expecting your ILS to figure out the bus system in London? I regret posting my reply now, I did it in fun, good natured way. OP, you are seriously nasty!

OP here. I’m confused because I don’t think I gave off that impression. I’m not expecting them to figure out the busses; I was hoping they’d ask, for example, “what street are you looking for” and try to look around. I have scheduled out everything to their specifications. I scheduled tea for them. I tried to do everything to make this nice for them. We have had more burgers than I can count because it’s what they want to eat.

If you're going to resent them for doing stuff for them, then stop. Did they ask to do everything to make the trip nice for them? Did they ask you to schedule out everything to their specifications? Even if they did, and you did it because you expected something from them, which they never agreed to doing, then you put yourself in this situation. Stop doing things for them if you're going to resent them for not doing things in return. You know they are not good travelers so why do you expect them to help you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP, I was sympathetic at first, but honestly now I just feel sorry for your inlaws. They are on their first trip ever to Europe, your husband is working in the hotel, and you are dragging them on some ridiculous excursion by public bus (and getting lost in the process) just because you don’t feel safe putting little precious in a London cab without a car seat, even though the ridiculously protectionist British government says it’s perfectly legal to do so. Maybe it’s you who isn’t cut out for foreign travel. Just wow.

Wow, ok, let’s slow down here.

1. DH was working once. One time.

2. Our “ridiculous excursion” was taking a bus to the Tower of London. Crazy, right? We were lost for about 10 min and then I figured it out and we got there. We didn’t take the Tube because ILs aren’t comfortable helping with the stroller at stations without lifts.

3. Despite the rules, I don’t think putting a toddler in a car without a car seat is safe. Doesn’t matter if it’s a cab or a regular car.

4. I’ve been to well over 30 countries on 4 continents.

Wait, how many kids are involved? Just one? Are you very pregnant, OP? Why are you expecting help with one child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wrote that long post about my ILS in Europe... and then I saw OP's updates! You are nasty, even when my ILS were needy and all, we still did everything and made sure they had a nice time. I was writing more in good humor because the whole thing was funny. And you are yelling about some busses and cabs? Are you seriously expecting your ILS to figure out the bus system in London? I regret posting my reply now, I did it in fun, good natured way. OP, you are seriously nasty!

OP here. I’m confused because I don’t think I gave off that impression. I’m not expecting them to figure out the busses; I was hoping they’d ask, for example, “what street are you looking for” and try to look around. I have scheduled out everything to their specifications. I scheduled tea for them. I tried to do everything to make this nice for them. We have had more burgers than I can count because it’s what they want to eat.

If you're going to resent them for doing stuff for them, then stop. Did they ask to do everything to make the trip nice for them? Did they ask you to schedule out everything to their specifications? Even if they did, and you did it because you expected something from them, which they never agreed to doing, then you put yourself in this situation. Stop doing things for them if you're going to resent them for not doing things in return. You know they are not good travelers so why do you expect them to help you?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One week into a two week trip to London and Rome with DH, his parents, and our 2 year old. We knew his parents hadn’t gone abroad before and spent their lives in the suburbs, but weren’t expecting them to be as useless as they are in helping with navigating or with the toddler. Example: DH had to do some work, so he stayed back at the hotel and the rest of us went out. I got a little turned around trying to find our bus stop and they literally just stood there saying and doing nothing while I tried to figure out where we needed to go. If DD is having a tantrum about something, they will also just stand and offer no assistance whatsoever.

They offered to babysit, which was great, but only did it if DH figured out how they could watch their TV shows on his laptop. MIL is also constantly complaining about the lack of ice in her drinks. This has become a huge issue.

Anyway, I know things could be much worse, but it’s frustrating feeling like we’re their tour operators.

You sound like a whiny, entitled brat.

If you are figuring out where to go, having them interfere and offer "suggestions" when they've never been outside the US would not be helpful. They're babysitting-what else do you want? Handle your own child, they are not obligated to do anything except not hamper you. If they did, you'd be on her bitching about how your MIL butts in constantly, telling you what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to take buses with a baby and an elderly couple? Is this some sort of budget trip? That’s your first problem right there. Loosen the purse springs and spring for a taxi and other small luxuries and things will go better. You won’t be trying to find the bus stop while your in laws watch you and try to prevent your kid from running into traffic.

PS, that kind of travel might have worked on your study abroad, but you’re not in college anymore. If you’re the group leader, then you need to make reasonable arrangements for your group.

My kid is 2. We can’t do a taxi because they don’t have car seats. We are staying at a nice hotel in Kensington. This isn’t a budget trip, but we have to make some adjustments for the fact that we have a toddler.

No car seat needed for travel in licensed taxis or mini cabs. Do your research.

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat

Thar isn’t because buses are safer...

I’m aware of the rules. That doesn’t mean I’m willing to take that risk. I’m not comfortable with it.

. But you will go on a bus with a car seat? Aye yi yi. Critical thinking skills are not your forte, eh?

Wow, you’re nasty. No one has seatbelts on busses, and yet seatbelts are required for cars, including cabs. There is clearly a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One week into a two week trip to London and Rome with DH, his parents, and our 2 year old. We knew his parents hadn’t gone abroad before and spent their lives in the suburbs, but weren’t expecting them to be as useless as they are in helping with navigating or with the toddler. Example: DH had to do some work, so he stayed back at the hotel and the rest of us went out. I got a little turned around trying to find our bus stop and they literally just stood there saying and doing nothing while I tried to figure out where we needed to go. If DD is having a tantrum about something, they will also just stand and offer no assistance whatsoever.

They offered to babysit, which was great, but only did it if DH figured out how they could watch their TV shows on his laptop. MIL is also constantly complaining about the lack of ice in her drinks. This has become a huge issue.

Anyway, I know things could be much worse, but it’s frustrating feeling like we’re their tour operators.

Let me guess. They paid for your trip, OP?

That is what I think.

I said above we all paid our own way. What makes you think they paid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP, I was sympathetic at first, but honestly now I just feel sorry for your inlaws. They are on their first trip ever to Europe, your husband is working in the hotel, and you are dragging them on some ridiculous excursion by public bus (and getting lost in the process) just because you don’t feel safe putting little precious in a London cab without a car seat, even though the ridiculously protectionist British government says it’s perfectly legal to do so. Maybe it’s you who isn’t cut out for foreign travel. Just wow.

Not to mention the fact that most of London is so congested they drive about 15 mph.

You speak English and you got lost, yet you're making fun of your elderly ILs who have never been out of the country for the same.

Peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP, I was sympathetic at first, but honestly now I just feel sorry for your inlaws. They are on their first trip ever to Europe, your husband is working in the hotel, and you are dragging them on some ridiculous excursion by public bus (and getting lost in the process) just because you don’t feel safe putting little precious in a London cab without a car seat, even though the ridiculously protectionist British government says it’s perfectly legal to do so. Maybe it’s you who isn’t cut out for foreign travel. Just wow.

Not to mention the fact that most of London is so congested they drive about 15 mph.

You speak English and you got lost, yet you're making fun of your elderly ILs who have never been out of the country for the same.

Peach.

I got lost once for 10 minutes in a huge traffic circle, trying to find a small side street.

Far from making fun of them, I’m frustrated with them.