Husband’s female coworker bought him a bottle of scotch, she won’t talk to me

[Anonymous]

Op, now that you have expressed to your husband that you're not exactly comfortable with their interaction, how do you feel?
Do you think he received it?
Do you think he's on the same page as you entirely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

I don’t touch my coworkers or buy them gifts for no reason. So, it’s not normal behavior for me and I suspect it’s not normal for others either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

LOL, you think the girl's behavior is "normal"? Unquestionably it's not. In fact, OP just confirmed my suspicion that the girl has something going on with the OP's DH. Whether or not she's been explicit or not, she clearly feels something for OP's DH and DH is clearly thinking about the girl and thinking about her a bit too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this coworker attractive?

Do you have to ask?

This whole thread -- catty note from first page included -- screams "I am insecure and feeling threatened."

Agree - if you are safe and secure in your marriage, this gift from the other woman is meaningless. My husband gets an occasional tie and shirt for xmas from women he works with. I am not at all threatened. I know my husband comes home to me at night.

Women don't buy their coworkers clothing items...

Right! No "occasional tie and shirt for xmas from women he works with." Exactly how many women are doing this and are you sure that it's just not one? These women are paying way too much attention to your husband on a personal level to know his likes in ties and his shirt size. Those items would be donated to charity. There will be no satisfaction in seeing my spouse wear "their" gifts to work.

Also, it wasn't Xmas when OP's husband got the Scotch.

Yes, I have bought male coworkers clothing. The gift was a pair of jeans that was in response to his running joke from his children about his "Dad" jeans. OP, you probably have more to worry about from other spouses eyeing your husband than you do the one lone female co-worker. Turn your attentions to the enemy that might be right under your nose.

Gag gifts are not dress shirts where you need to know his neck size, chest measurement and sleeve length to purchase it.

There are 3 ways to find out that info:

A) Ask his size at which 99.9% of people would say "Uh, no thanks" then think how weird of a request that was.

Or

B) measuring the guy (not likely to happen at work)

Or

C) Have access to the inside of his collar or the inside seam of his shirt, the common denominator being intimacy.

D) Ask his assistant

Who should not be inside of his clothing either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

Female work colleague apparently found your thread OP.

[Anonymous]

Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

LOL, you think the girl's behavior is "normal"? Unquestionably it's not. In fact, OP just confirmed my suspicion that the girl has something going on with the OP's DH. Whether or not she's been explicit or not, she clearly feels something for OP's DH and DH is clearly thinking about the girl and thinking about her a bit too much.

"the girl"? no, she's an adult woman. even if she has a crush on DH's husband, that's for HIM to manage. OP needs to stand down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, now that you have expressed to your husband that you're not exactly comfortable with their interaction, how do you feel?
Do you think he received it?
Do you think he's on the same page as you entirely?

I feel better speaking to him about it although I know it all sounds ridiculous. Yes he did receive my concern and completely agreed that there may be more on her side. He also admitted that he was a bit over zealous last night as well. He has apologized numerous times for how both of them behaved last night and how they both put me in a slight awkward position. I guess my gut feeling was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

LOL, you think the girl's behavior is "normal"? Unquestionably it's not. In fact, OP just confirmed my suspicion that the girl has something going on with the OP's DH. Whether or not she's been explicit or not, she clearly feels something for OP's DH and DH is clearly thinking about the girl and thinking about her a bit too much.

Op here. I did stand down. Clearly.
"the girl"? no, she's an adult woman. even if she has a crush on DH's husband, that's for HIM to manage. OP needs to stand down.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I did stand down. ^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

LOL, you think the girl's behavior is "normal"? Unquestionably it's not. In fact, OP just confirmed my suspicion that the girl has something going on with the OP's DH. Whether or not she's been explicit or not, she clearly feels something for OP's DH and DH is clearly thinking about the girl and thinking about her a bit too much.

"the girl"? no, she's an adult woman. even if she has a crush on DH's husband, that's for HIM to manage. OP needs to stand down.

Of course he needs to manage it. However, OP has every right to be concerned both for the other woman AND her DH (he obviously has feelings for the other woman). In fact, I think the OP should stay vigilant about this and keep her eyes open.

I think it's great that the OP's DH has been (relatively) open about this.,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

Female work colleague apparently found your thread OP.

No - just someone who can identify hostility towards woman in an all-male work environment. I feel sorry for this woman! Not only does she have to deal with the crap of being the only woman, but her normal behavior is being interpreted as flirtatious by a jealous wife. women are really in a double bind in this kind of situation. If she acted with complete reticence out of fear of being seen as hitting on her coworker, she'd be seen as cold and shut out of crucial socializing and informal networks. If she acts in a friendly manner and develops (normal) relationships with her male coworkers, she's tagged as some kind of homewrecker. If she makes the least mistake in company culture (gifting a bottle of scotch, as opposed to just bringing it to the office and sharing a drink) she's likewise tagged as a Jezebel.

OP stand down. Let your DH handle his professional relationships in a professional manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

I agree I was a little bit nervous on this one as the flags were starting to arise. I believe my husband completely in that there has not been, nor will there be an affair. He is genuinely sincere and extremely good looking and actually things like this happen often. It’s just this situation, I knew I had to keep an eye on it for my husband’s sake. I am also female and know what is and what is not appropriate behavior and can usually judge a person pretty accurately.

Yes I was suspicious on her side for obvious reasons and like you said my suspicions were correct.

Thanks for your input on the situation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

I agree I was a little bit nervous on this one as the flags were starting to arise. I believe my husband completely in that there has not been, nor will there be an affair. He is genuinely sincere and extremely good looking and actually things like this happen often. It’s just this situation, I knew I had to keep an eye on it for my husband’s sake. I am also female and know what is and what is not appropriate behavior and can usually judge a person pretty accurately.

Yes I was suspicious on her side for obvious reasons and like you said my suspicions were correct.

Thanks for your input on the situation!

No, you do not need to defend your husband against his female colleagues. I mean really, WTF? He is (should be) perfectly capable of handling this and discerning whether her conduct is an issue based on professional standards; not based on your hair trigger assumptions of her subjective feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update.

So last night for cocktail hour my husband and I were chatting with another couple. It was a bit crowded but outside and the entrance was to my back. She literally bounced in the circle and rubbed up against his shoulder with a half hug all while laughing. It was a strange approach. She then saw me got a little wide eyes and moved around my husband and onto the other couple. I don’t attend these often and I am sure she was surprised. She didn’t speak at all to me, which is fine. I was bothered by her entrance dance and hug though a little I guess.

Before, during and at the end of dinner my husband mentioned at least three times that he was worried about where she was sitting and whom she was sitting with, since she was not at the three tables that the other “10” were at. He was worried that she didn’t get the same treatment as the rest of the 9 guys.

This am I finally brought it up to him and he admitted that he was surprised she completely ignored me again tonight. I asked about the liquor and he admitted that it was a bit much. He said if one of his buddies of the group of 10 had a bad day or week he would bring a bottle to the guys office, share a drink and brink the bottle home. His almost $75- $100 (i looked it up) bottle is still at his office apparently unopened. Bottles of liquor are norm for transfers, going always, not bad days typically in this setting. He also said that they do not talk or text outside of meetings when i asked this am. Maybe they don’t text but I am sure they talk in person or phones or both.

Idk, honestly I am a bit on edge with it. I feel like the behavior is on the line almost crossing into too much of an emotional friendship. I believe 100 percent there is not an affair, nor do I believe my husband has the hots for her. She is not his type as she is a bit heavy and just average. I believe that he is friendly with her as he is with everyone and maybe she is obviously confusing these friendly feelings with a true relationship.

Also, again I understand it may feel weird that we invited her to an outing. Absolutely in any other work environment would I 100 percent agree. However, in our close knit work setting families attend weekend outings together all of the time. Some are divorced and they attend with another couple. When I do not attend my husband will attend or ride with another couple. No big deal.

Idk. Thanks for all of the advice so far and thanks for any advice now.

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

You have issues and you need to chill. It's not her fault she's a woman in an all-male environment. You're sexualizing her apparently NORMAL conduct, and it's gross. Treat her like any other coworker of your husbands.

Female work colleague apparently found your thread OP.

No - just someone who can identify hostility towards woman in an all-male work environment. I feel sorry for this woman! Not only does she have to deal with the crap of being the only woman, but her normal behavior is being interpreted as flirtatious by a jealous wife. women are really in a double bind in this kind of situation. If she acted with complete reticence out of fear of being seen as hitting on her coworker, she'd be seen as cold and shut out of crucial socializing and informal networks. If she acts in a friendly manner and develops (normal) relationships with her male coworkers, she's tagged as some kind of homewrecker. If she makes the least mistake in company culture (gifting a bottle of scotch, as opposed to just bringing it to the office and sharing a drink) she's likewise tagged as a Jezebel.

OP stand down. Let your DH handle his professional relationships in a professional manner.

Clearly you have no experience in this situation at all. I am also a successful corporate manager and never cross lines like this woman has done with my husband. I carry on normal conversations and can get along with almost everyone including mall of their wives. I just know when to call a spade a spade.