Husband’s female coworker bought him a bottle of scotch, she won’t talk to me

[Anonymous]

Hey Karen,

I bought him a bottle of scotch because I’m a thoughtful peer. We might be having sex, but the scotch gift was pure business.

Dudes buy each other scotch all the time. It’s the go to holiday peer gift for ppl that like scotch or don’t. What should I get Dan? Scotch! How about Scott? Scotch! Hmm.., Alan doesn’t drink scotch. Get him scotch anyway because everyone gets scotch.

— working mom

[Anonymous]

^ what? Do you also not speak to the wife and ignore her when she's around or do you do that only to the wives whose husband you're having an affair with?

[Anonymous]

On what planet were you raised where females in business are required to cozy up to the wives of their male colleagues?

We likely have little in common. I’m sure I’d chatter with you at a work event as common as his other colleagues. It’s a bottle of scotch. I’m not interested in you from a peer networking point of view. You are way overthinking all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On what planet were you raised where females in business are required to cozy up to the wives of their male colleagues?

We likely have little in common. I’m sure I’d chatter with you at a work event as common as his other colleagues. It’s a bottle of scotch. I’m not interested in you from a peer networking point of view. You are way overthinking all of this.

Oh hell no. A smart woman knows who butters her bread. Hint: It is not the husband.

[Anonymous]

A smart business woman knows how to avoid wives like you. Stop expecting more from me socially than Michael. I’m no threat to your marriage. And no, you don’t butter my bread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On what planet were you raised where females in business are required to cozy up to the wives of their male colleagues?

We likely have little in common. I’m sure I’d chatter with you at a work event as common as his other colleagues. It’s a bottle of scotch. I’m not interested in you from a peer networking point of view. You are way overthinking all of this.

Listen, I have also worked in mainly predominantly male fields. I always chat up to the wives of colleagues if I meet them because it's just polite, it's their spouse, and I want to make sure it's understood that it's work relationship. Honestly, it makes the relationship with the male colleague clean and simple regarding that aspect. The working woman that the DW posted about did not do any such thing and I don't even know what you are trying to justify.

Also, no one where I work give gifts of hard liquor as a thank you gift (Christmas gift is a different thing) which is what the OP was referencing. Again, do you treat all wives of colleagues like this or only the ones whose husband you are cheating with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send a thank you note for the scotch..."Thanks for the thoughtful gift! We enjoyed it on date night"

That is a terrible idea. But it would make her laugh at how you have lowered yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send a thank you note for the scotch..."Thanks for the thoughtful gift! We enjoyed it on date night"

Perfection!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send a thank you note for the scotch..."Thanks for the thoughtful gift! We enjoyed it on date night"

Perfection!

Op here. There is a work event tonight and I may thank her for thinking of him during that time. I am not bitchy in the slightest and not sure how to accomplish that. Maybe I’ll try to bring it up, maybe not and I may just let it go.

OMG, what is wrong with you that you can't see how inappropriate it is to contact one of your husband's coworkers. It also looks really desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send a thank you note for the scotch..."Thanks for the thoughtful gift! We enjoyed it on date night"

Perfection!

Op here. There is a work event tonight and I may thank her for thinking of him during that time. I am not bitchy in the slightest and not sure how to accomplish that. Maybe I’ll try to bring it up, maybe not and I may just let it go.

Its strange that you're going at all but maybe your husband has one of those jobs that requires the wives/spouses to be seen at the networking.

Omg. Op here. Yes all spouses are invited tonight. Relax. I am not just showing up at events.

Sooo, admit it. This is your chance to look at hot as you can while checking her out to assess the threat level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of your information about what's going on at work comes from your DH. Hmmm....

I wonder if that paid off for him, and has in the past. A smart man learns how a little orchestrated jealousy affects a woman.

[Anonymous]

You sound insecure. Is it because you are stay at home, and picture the workplace as glamorous compared to your days? I doubt a single woman is after your husband. I think unhappy married people are more on the hunt. I would forget about it. He controls his fidelity, not you or his co-workers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I did not bring up the bottle to her, nor will I. I won’t write a thank you card and obviously plan to stay out of it. I told my husband it’s very obvious she’s into him and he’s staring to be overly concerned for her. I told him if that I am not overly jealous but it is beginning to cross a line in my book and if that’s what he wants, he can go for it.

Wow, did you really say that to him? You have some serious issues. I'm glad you were able to size her up and determine for him, that she is not his type (based on what you THINK is his type) but this reaction of yours is crazy. I'll bet he dials it way down in the future as far as sharing any interactions he has with any female he works with. Or have you shown this crazy side to him before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP (the one who asked OP how her husband received her concerns)

A few years ago, I was going through our cell phone bill to track down a number I needed. I noticed that there was a number exchanged with my husband, at various times of day and night, for about 3 months.
I called the number and the voicemail belonged to his Receptionist at work.
I had met her only once a few years before that.
I did not say anything to my husband, but instead, I texted her a short message saying, "Please stop texting my husband"
I did not state my name, or who I was.
Her reply?

"Im sorry, Its always been work related though"

I knew something was up when she did not ask initially, "Who is this?" but knew exactly who's husband I was speaking of.

We are now separated.

Night time? I don't think so.

I would have texted her asking how she's doing. See what she replies back thinking it's your husband.

Un;ess she does that from her H's phone, how do you see that working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the bounce hug thing is an indication she has a crush on your husband. If they were having an affair, she would not be surprised you were at the event because he would have tipped her off in advance. If your husband asked you to go when you normally don’t, it’s because he wanted to use you a shield to protect him / remind her he is taken. I think you’ve got nothing to worry about.

I want to know more about the bounce hug. OP, can you describe that in a bit more detail?