I'm 40 and I make $20 per hour
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Anonymous
Well, everyone has a different experience or threshold for juggling and stress. so yes I would say some people do need it and some don't to stay the same level of "happy". the 1 SAHP I know is a dad who had a big law partner wife, I've known them both since college. they both beat the drum saying their lives work only bc of their 1 wohm job. others don't need that others do |
Anonymous
Sorry but I don't think this is about your kids or your mommy track status which you didn't take on until 35. You had 13 years to develop a career for yourself and you really didn't -- 2-3 yrs of F/T experience before mommy track is not a career. I don't think the problem is with your current need for flexibility etc. so much as -- you still think of yourself as that national merit scholar, top 10 in your class who got into the ivy league and everyone told you - man you're going to do GREAT things. And like so many women I knew at my ivy, you got the general BA and didn't get yourself on any career path. You hoped it would be med, probably tried it for too long when it just wasn't going to happen and boom all of a sudden you're 30. So you squeeze in a masters and 2-3 yrs of experience . . . . There's nothing you can do to go back to flexibility and opportunities you had at 22. BUT frankly I wouldn't just accept some BS part time job just bc you have kids and DH is a partner. I mean if you don't WANT a real career bc DH is a partner fine. But if you do want something more-- you can most certainly afford a nanny. Do you really intend to be unhappy forever bc you have kids and a partner DH? |
Anonymous
Why can't you pursue a new degree at a local school, such as the GWU? I did that when I was a SAHM - studied full time and graduated in 15 months. |
Anonymous
I don't know anyone who has ever moved for a PT/OT/ST degree. I mean maybe if you live in a super small town or something, but assuming you're in DC or near another big city -- people just go to the local school that accepts them. |
Anonymous
+100 Yes, it is a simple truth and wasn't disguised as anything else. Bizarre that anyone would be offended by that. |
Anonymous
Not the PP, but I don't understand what you're saying. Or what the PP is saying, for that matter. |
Anonymous
I was referring to why would I be embarrassed to choose staying home with my kids over WOH. What are you referring to? |
Anonymous
Yes - but your husband is able to SAH with your kids. Your kids are lucky they have a parent devoting their time to them. |
Anonymous
I'm 49 and my oldest is 22. The other two are in college. I wouldn't call that "meeting my husband young." |
Anonymous
You live your life, we'll live ours. 
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Anonymous
Hmm. I'm an educated and healthy woman and never once felt I was "expected to choose childcare and housework over a career outside the home." No one expected me to do this - I simply *wanted* to because it was the best decision for our family. I find it odd that you (and other PPs) still, in 2018, think that women are pressured into SAH simply because they're women. Many women (and men) don't have a choice in the matter - they need to work. But for those of us who are fortunate to have options, SAH is very much that - a choice. And it's an extremely important decision, one which I've never taken lightly. FTR, I never lionize men who choose to SAH. I think it's great that any family is able to have a SAH parent, regardless of gender. And I'm grateful every single day that in our family, I'm able to be that parent. |
Anonymous
IP that sounds like a pretty fantastic life to me. I know more than a few people who would absolutely trade for that |
Anonymous
This is simultaneously hilarious and pathetic. ^^^ 
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Anonymous
NP here. I could have written a lot of what OP said and I'm also in my 40s struggling with finding a solid job after staying home with small children for a few years. I've also been working part-time, taking on freelance positions that pay around $20/hour, or less. I think a big factor in what happens to your career certainly is your line of work. The SAHMs I've met who have returned to work without a catch work in a field that requires some kind of state certificate or license. As OP mentioned, the allied health fields, i.e. PT, OT, speech. Also, of course, medicine. Or K-12 teaching. They're not perfect paths, but unlike other fields, your career path is more or less solid and you can go part-time if need be if you have your own practice by age 35-40, or leave the field for a few years (some school districts around the country will hold a teacher's job if they take a leave of absence). And, there is and will always be a need for specialists in the allied health fields. With the aging babyboomers, you'll more or less be set employment-wise if you're an OT. I majored in a liberal arts field and experienced layoffs and companies shutting down or merging. Would I have found myself collecting unemployment ten years ago if I had been working as teacher or physical therapist? Probably not. I made my bed, as the saying goes. Now, at 40+, I'm trying to find ways to continue using my degrees and have had to settle for part-time, lower-paying online work due to the state of things in my life. Sure, I coulda, shoulda. I'd love to go back to school but there are other expenses to worry about at this point. The one thing that scares me when I see older women in their 50s, 60s, working at a department store. I highly doubt all of them are just divorcees who have to make end's meet. I bet a lot of them are educated professionals in their 50s who simply have a better chance of being hit by a car than hired. |
Anonymous
| As crap as your pay is, ask yourself this--should I measure success in terms of the lives I impact, or the money people give me? |