do you ask about guns at a family's house before letting your kid go to a playdate there?

[Anonymous]

For the gun owners, if I expressed concern over guns, might you also be worried that it's because my kid is curious/shows interest in guns? (my actual kids are 1 and 3, so not an issue now). My nephew is 8 and a curious kid, and I think that if I owned guns I would want to know that the kid might be vaguely interested, and I would want to be aware to ensure the kid doesn't go hunting for them...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't ask. We assume many families have guns, and we'd only send our kid to houses where we know the parents well enough that we can trust them to keep the guns locked away.

We have guns locked away. We've been asked occasionally, and we've said that "No, we don't own any guns."

It's not information that we wish to disclose to anyone. It's a private matter. As far as other parents need to be concerned, there is absolutely no way that their kids will get their hands on our guns.

I don't get this. If you own guns, why are you ashamed to tell people? And as for other parents, aren't they to judge the situations they put their kids into?

I have no obligation to discuss any of my personal possessions with anyone, and I am totally indifferent to their feelings about it.

This person's responses are really depressing. You are taking the parents' ability to make an informed choice about risk away from them. I would tell you that I have a dog. I would tell you that I have a locked cabinet of alcohol. I would tell you that I have a cabinet of prescription medicine high up on a shelf. I would tell you I have a covered gated pool. Why can't you tell me that you own a gun?

Locked alcohol? A cabinet of prescription medicine? I am already scared.

[Anonymous]

I don't because I think it provides a false sense of security. If someone says they don't, they could be lying because they're concerned about social repercussions. Of if they say yes but it's stored in a biometric safe with the ammo in a different safe in a different part of the house, they might actually be very lax about unloading the weapon and storing everything properly, or maybe, again, they're lying and it's loaded and unlocked under their mattress. My focus instead is on educating my children about what to do if they ever encounter one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't because I think it provides a false sense of security. If someone says they don't, they could be lying because they're concerned about social repercussions. Of if they say yes but it's stored in a biometric safe with the ammo in a different safe in a different part of the house, they might actually be very lax about unloading the weapon and storing everything properly, or maybe, again, they're lying and it's loaded and unlocked under their mattress. [b]My focus instead is on educating my children about what to do if they ever encounter one.

Studies have proven this works only 8 out of 10 times. I do it but I don't have much faith it would work - just hoping my boys will be the 2 who behave accordingly.

I also always ask. But I also teach my boys to never point a toy gun, finger as a gun, or anything resembling a weapon at any living thing ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't ask. We assume many families have guns, and we'd only send our kid to houses where we know the parents well enough that we can trust them to keep the guns locked away.

We have guns locked away. We've been asked occasionally, and we've said that "No, we don't own any guns."

It's not information that we wish to disclose to anyone. It's a private matter. As far as other parents need to be concerned, there is absolutely no way that their kids will get their hands on our guns.

I don't get this. If you own guns, why are you ashamed to tell people? And as for other parents, aren't they to judge the situations they put their kids into?

I have no obligation to discuss any of my personal possessions with anyone, and I am totally indifferent to their feelings about it.

This person's responses are really depressing. You are taking the parents' ability to make an informed choice about risk away from them. I would tell you that I have a dog. I would tell you that I have a locked cabinet of alcohol. I would tell you that I have a cabinet of prescription medicine high up on a shelf. I would tell you I have a covered gated pool. Why can't you tell me that you own a gun?

Locked alcohol? A cabinet of prescription medicine? I am already scared.

Look, I have 5 + 7 year old kids, who are curious, so yeah, I child proof certain things. I'm also taking care of very sick parent with Parkinsons at home with very strong meds, so its actually NOT a non-issue.

I'm very upfront about these things. For example, my SIL was visiting with her toddler for a weekend, and I had to step away to the kitchen. I told her, "please be careful to not let Larlo go into Grandma's room, because she occasionally drops meds on the floor accidentally". Of course, SIL actually *did* allow toddler to go into the room, and the first thing Larla did was to find a 500 mg ibuprofen on the floor. I caught it before she put it in her mouth, but a risk is a risk. I will inform you of the known risks in my home - other parents should do the same for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't ask. We assume many families have guns, and we'd only send our kid to houses where we know the parents well enough that we can trust them to keep the guns locked away.

We have guns locked away. We've been asked occasionally, and we've said that "No, we don't own any guns."

It's not information that we wish to disclose to anyone. It's a private matter. As far as other parents need to be concerned, there is absolutely no way that their kids will get their hands on our guns.

I don't get this. If you own guns, why are you ashamed to tell people? And as for other parents, aren't they to judge the situations they put their kids into?

I have no obligation to discuss any of my personal possessions with anyone, and I am totally indifferent to their feelings about it.

This person's responses are really depressing. You are taking the parents' ability to make an informed choice about risk away from them. I would tell you that I have a dog. I would tell you that I have a locked cabinet of alcohol. I would tell you that I have a cabinet of prescription medicine high up on a shelf. I would tell you I have a covered gated pool. Why can't you tell me that you own a gun?

Locked alcohol? A cabinet of prescription medicine? I am already scared.

Look, I have 5 + 7 year old kids, who are curious, so yeah, I child proof certain things. I'm also taking care of very sick parent with Parkinsons at home with very strong meds, so its actually NOT a non-issue.

I'm very upfront about these things. For example, my SIL was visiting with her toddler for a weekend, and I had to step away to the kitchen. I told her, "please be careful to not let Larlo go into Grandma's room, because she occasionally drops meds on the floor accidentally". Of course, SIL actually *did* allow toddler to go into the room, and the first thing Larla did was to find a 500 mg ibuprofen on the floor. I caught it before she put it in her mouth, but a risk is a risk. I will inform you of the known risks in my home - other parents should do the same for me.

I guess I will invite you to stay if your kids come over for a playdate. I don't have anything locked. We also have a candy drawer: a low drawer full of candy. And beer on tap.

[Anonymous]

If a parent discloses they have guns in the home, what are the chances the initial busybody isn't going to go running around clutching her pearls and informing other parents? From what I've seen in other situation on DCUM, the answer is slim to none. She will blab without a doubt and file it under "safety first" or "better safe than sorry." For a lot of gun owners it *is* a security issue for their guns to be general knowledge, so if the guns are locked away, ammo stored separately, they won't disclose to you not because they are ashamed, or irresponsible, or twisting their gun-totin' mustaches and cackling, but because they don't need Mrs. Parker's entire third grade class knowing there are guns in that home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If a parent discloses they have guns in the home, what are the chances the initial busybody isn't going to go running around clutching her pearls and informing other parents? From what I've seen in other situation on DCUM, the answer is slim to none. She will blab without a doubt and file it under "safety first" or "better safe than sorry." For a lot of gun owners it *is* a security issue for their guns to be general knowledge, so if the guns are locked away, ammo stored separately, they won't disclose to you not because they are ashamed, or irresponsible, or twisting their gun-totin' mustaches and cackling, but because they don't need Mrs. Parker's entire third grade class knowing there are guns in that home.

Oh, stop. Even if this happened - so what?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I always ask. How could you not? What is more important than you kids lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the gun owners, if I expressed concern over guns, might you also be worried that it's because my kid is curious/shows interest in guns? (my actual kids are 1 and 3, so not an issue now). My nephew is 8 and a curious kid, and I think that if I owned guns I would want to know that the kid might be vaguely interested, and I would want to be aware to ensure the kid doesn't go hunting for them...

My boyfriend has a gun. Our bedroom and bathroom are the only things on the very top floor of the house. The gun is in his closet. The kids know they are never to bring friends up to that level of the house. They know they are to tell us if they can not control their friends and need adult intervention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the gun owners, if I expressed concern over guns, might you also be worried that it's because my kid is curious/shows interest in guns? (my actual kids are 1 and 3, so not an issue now). My nephew is 8 and a curious kid, and I think that if I owned guns I would want to know that the kid might be vaguely interested, and I would want to be aware to ensure the kid doesn't go hunting for them...

My boyfriend has a gun. Our bedroom and bathroom are the only things on the very top floor of the house. The gun is in his closet. The kids know they are never to bring friends up to that level of the house. They know they are to tell us if they can not control their friends and need adult intervention.

Unless that gun is also in a safe, that’s ridiculous. And I say that as a gun owner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't ask. We assume many families have guns, and we'd only send our kid to houses where we know the parents well enough that we can trust them to keep the guns locked away.

We have guns locked away. We've been asked occasionally, and we've said that "No, we don't own any guns."

It's not information that we wish to disclose to anyone. It's a private matter. As far as other parents need to be concerned, there is absolutely no way that their kids will get their hands on our guns.

I don't get this. If you own guns, why are you ashamed to tell people? And as for other parents, aren't they to judge the situations they put their kids into?

I'm not ashamed. But it's a security issue, and it's a personal, private choice. Are you too "ashamed" to tell people your garage door code, or the balance of your investment holdings, or what medications you're taking? Absolutely not about "shame."

It's private information. Plain and simple.

Sweetie, if gun owners only killed each other, I would agree it was a private issue. But they don't. My kids lives are at stake and I find your lie particularly ugly and sinful.

I find your obsessive need to inquire about my personal information ugly, sinful, and stupid.

Wait, what? Did Jesus say "Don't ask don't tell" about firearms? or "Lie to your neighbor about your gun if you see fit" ?

Someone asking about this out of concern for their own child's safety is "ugly and stupid"? How biblical of you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always ask. And no, I would not let my child go to a home that has firearms.

I would rather be uncomfortable and impolite than have a dead child. Simple as that.

So you wouldn't even care how they store their guns? Just if they have one then you won't let them go there?

[Anonymous]

It's pretty likely that, if you have a dog, a visitor is going to encounter it. Therefore, that information should be disclosed.

However, there is no chance that your kid is going to encounter our weapons. None. The only people who will encounter our weapons are those who pose a serious threat to me and my family. Consequently, you have absolutely no need to know about the existence of our weapons that are locked in a safe. And you will not know. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty likely that, if you have a dog, a visitor is going to encounter it. Therefore, that information should be disclosed.

However, there is no chance that your kid is going to encounter our weapons. None. The only people who will encounter our weapons are those who pose a serious threat to me and my family. Consequently, you have absolutely no need to know about the existence of our weapons that are locked in a safe. And you will not know. End of story.

I have guns in the house and they are absolutely triple secured away from all visitors, including kids and workers. But I will still tell people we have them if asked. It seems odd to lie about it.