do you ask about guns at a family's house before letting your kid go to a playdate there?

[Anonymous]

Ugh, who even owns guns anymore? Its a low class thing to do, like smoking.

[Anonymous]

We have hand guns in our house. We are not law enforcement or military. They are for recreation (at a shooting range) only and are not for personal protection (no way would I keep my cool enough to actually shoot someone if they broke into my house, plus it would take forever to access them). They are stored, unloaded, in a safe. The ammo is stored three floors away, also in a safe. I would never lie to someone who asked me if I had guns, and the people here who say they would lie shock and upset me. However, the people who say they would never let their child go to a child's house where guns were, no matter how they were stored, even if the parents proved to you how they are stored, seriously make me think about lying. Honestly, you don't sound like the kind of people I'd want to be friends with anyway, but that doesn't mean I want my kids to be affected by something they have nothing to do with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If a parent discloses they have guns in the home, what are the chances the initial busybody isn't going to go running around clutching her pearls and informing other parents? From what I've seen in other situation on DCUM, the answer is slim to none. She will blab without a doubt and file it under "safety first" or "better safe than sorry." For a lot of gun owners it *is* a security issue for their guns to be general knowledge, so if the guns are locked away, ammo stored separately, they won't disclose to you not because they are ashamed, or irresponsible, or twisting their gun-totin' mustaches and cackling, but because they don't need Mrs. Parker's entire third grade class knowing there are guns in that home.

Oh, stop. Even if this happened - so what?

So what? I'm not the PP, but do you seriously not care about the kids here? It sounds like some of these people would do what PP said, and I bet they'd tell their kids that Johnny's parents are evil, and then Johnny is going to tell the class that, and now the kids are dealing with it.

[Anonymous]

Guys, the person who insists on lying about her guns is clearly ashamed of her guns. She's not afraid you are going to steal them. She's not afraid you're going to tell people. She's ashamed. Can we just stop trying to rationalize with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, the person who insists on lying about her guns is clearly ashamed of her guns. She's not afraid you are going to steal them. She's not afraid you're going to tell people. She's ashamed. Can we just stop trying to rationalize with her?

I agree.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the people that think it's none of anyone's business. There are thousands of accidental gun deaths per year because parents don't keep their guns locked up. It's a legit concern and completely valid question to ask if you are sending your child over to a friend's house, especially if you don't know the parents that well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the people that think it's none of anyone's business. There are thousands of accidental gun deaths per year because parents don't keep their guns locked up. It's a legit concern and completely valid question to ask if you are sending your child over to a friend's house, especially if you don't know the parents that well.

We keep our weapons locked up. There will be no accidental deaths. If, God forbid, one of our guns ever causes a death, it will be intentional, that I can assure you.

Therefore, it's none of your business what we have LOCKED UP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always ask. And no, I would not let my child go to a home that has firearms.

I would rather be uncomfortable and impolite than have a dead child. Simple as that.

So you wouldn't even care how they store their guns? Just if they have one then you won't let them go there?

Some people are like that and it's OK. Maybe they are pacifists, maybe they have trust issues. Maybe it's a cultural values thing - if you have guns (even though they are secured), then they don't want to have social interactions with you and it applies to kids.
It's a free country, people can decide what's best for them (and hey, if you have the right to own a gun, then I (and by extension my child) certainly have the right to avoid vising your house). Different strokes for different folks, that's all. Let's all breathe out. Your kid can play with other kids whose parents also own guns, or whose parents don't ask about this.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I wouldn't expect someone who had guns in the house to be responsible about locking them up. Almost all of those people assume that nothing will happen - that's the reason they allow guns in the house. They ASSUME they're safely locked up and that their kids don't have the combo or can't access the key, they ASSUME the kids know never to go into the room that has the guns and ASSUME their kids are good kids who don't disobey the parents, they ASSUME their kids aren't the type of kids to try to impress other kids, assume their husband could never ever get distracted by something important and forget or not be able to secure the weapon after using it or maintaining it and therefore leaving it accessible to the kids JUST THIS ONCE, etc. And then they're a statistic and say on the news "but I never ever thought it could actually happen to US!"

So I feel like it's a bit of a pointless exercise asking them anything. It would be pretty rare for any parent of a younger child to say "yeah, we have a gun and the kids can easily access it but they know not to, so don't worry".

They will always lie and/or assure you that there's NO WAY the kids could POSSIBLY access them.

Personally, I just don't let my kids go somewhere unless I know the parents pretty well. I'm the type of person who talks about important stuff and doesn't just make small talk fluff all day, and I can usually trust the reading I get from people. Accidents can always happen of course, but I do what I can to minimize risks of not just gun casualties but other things that I'm concerned about too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always ask. And no, I would not let my child go to a home that has firearms.

I would rather be uncomfortable and impolite than have a dead child. Simple as that.

So you wouldn't even care how they store their guns? Just if they have one then you won't let them go there?

Some people are like that and it's OK. Maybe they are pacifists, maybe they have trust issues. Maybe it's a cultural values thing - if you have guns (even though they are secured), then they don't want to have social interactions with you and it applies to kids.
It's a free country, people can decide what's best for them (and hey, if you have the right to own a gun, then I (and by extension my child) certainly have the right to avoid vising your house). Different strokes for different folks, that's all. Let's all breathe out. Your kid can play with other kids whose parents also own guns, or whose parents don't ask about this.

That's certainly true. And it's equally true that gun owners are not required to disclose their possession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the people that think it's none of anyone's business. There are thousands of accidental gun deaths per year because parents don't keep their guns locked up. It's a legit concern and completely valid question to ask if you are sending your child over to a friend's house, especially if you don't know the parents that well.

We keep our weapons locked up. There will be no accidental deaths. If, God forbid, one of our guns ever causes a death, it will be intentional, that I can assure you.

Therefore, it's none of your business what we have LOCKED UP.

Go away, PP, no one likes you. You are a liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always ask. And no, I would not let my child go to a home that has firearms.

I would rather be uncomfortable and impolite than have a dead child. Simple as that.

So you wouldn't even care how they store their guns? Just if they have one then you won't let them go there?

Some people are like that and it's OK. Maybe they are pacifists, maybe they have trust issues. Maybe it's a cultural values thing - if you have guns (even though they are secured), then they don't want to have social interactions with you and it applies to kids.
It's a free country, people can decide what's best for them (and hey, if you have the right to own a gun, then I (and by extension my child) certainly have the right to avoid vising your house). Different strokes for different folks, that's all. Let's all breathe out. Your kid can play with other kids whose parents also own guns, or whose parents don't ask about this.

By refusing to acknowledge that some people may have their guns stored in a completely safe manner, you are no longer about protecting your kids. You're saying you refuse to be friends with someone who owns a gun. The irony is the people who say stuff like this seem to be the ones who pride themselves on being open-minded, yet that's the exactly opposite of what they're doing in this case. I get the safety issue, I do, and you have every right (and obligation) to protect your children. But when they are in no danger of coming into contact with a gun at someone's house, that's no longer what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the people that think it's none of anyone's business. There are thousands of accidental gun deaths per year because parents don't keep their guns locked up. It's a legit concern and completely valid question to ask if you are sending your child over to a friend's house, especially if you don't know the parents that well.

We keep our weapons locked up. There will be no accidental deaths. If, God forbid, one of our guns ever causes a death, it will be intentional, that I can assure you.

Therefore, it's none of your business what we have LOCKED UP.

Why are you so sure that you and your spouse are perfect?

[Anonymous]

My husband is retired law enforcement, but before he retired, he locked his firearm in his cruiser and did nor bring it into the house. As soon as he retired, he sold it. We do not own guns, because my dad committed suicide when I was 11, and since I have PTSD, I cannot be around them. Even when he was in law enforcement, though, we never had anyone ask how and where he stored his firearm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I wouldn't expect someone who had guns in the house to be responsible about locking them up. Almost all of those people assume that nothing will happen - that's the reason they allow guns in the house. They ASSUME they're safely locked up and that their kids don't have the combo or can't access the key, they ASSUME the kids know never to go into the room that has the guns and ASSUME their kids are good kids who don't disobey the parents, they ASSUME their kids aren't the type of kids to try to impress other kids, assume their husband could never ever get distracted by something important and forget or not be able to secure the weapon after using it or maintaining it and therefore leaving it accessible to the kids JUST THIS ONCE, etc. And then they're a statistic and say on the news "but I never ever thought it could actually happen to US!"

So I feel like it's a bit of a pointless exercise asking them anything. It would be pretty rare for any parent of a younger child to say "yeah, we have a gun and the kids can easily access it but they know not to, so don't worry".

They will always lie and/or assure you that there's NO WAY the kids could POSSIBLY access them.

Personally, I just don't let my kids go somewhere unless I know the parents pretty well. I'm the type of person who talks about important stuff and doesn't just make small talk fluff all day, and I can usually trust the reading I get from people. Accidents can always happen of course, but I do what I can to minimize risks of not just gun casualties but other things that I'm concerned about too.

Every single person I know who has guns does have them stored in a completely safe manner. And many PPs who have posted on here state the same. None of those people are relying on assumptions to keep their own children safe. They're relying on the precautions they have taken to store their guns so that children cannot access them. Your sweeping generalizations make you look like more of an idiot than the people posting about how people knowing they have guns is a safety issue.