do you ask about guns at a family's house before letting your kid go to a playdate there?

[Anonymous]

If someone asked this before a play date, I would suggest we meet at a playground. I would also think you are nuts and would not invite you or your child over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not disclose that we have guns. They are safely stored. If you ask, I will lie. It's a security issue.

a security issue?! what the hell do you think is going to happen if you tell people you have guns?! I promise, no one is coming to forcibly take your guns from you.

you're psycho.

It increases the chances that someone will break in and steal them, moron.

But, but, but.... they're locked away! There's NO CHANCE someone could steal them, I thought!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone asked this before a play date, I would suggest we meet at a playground. I would also think you are nuts and would not invite you or your child over again.

sounds like win-win

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always ask. And no, I would not let my child go to a home that has firearms.

I would rather be uncomfortable and impolite than have a dead child. Simple as that.

This, right here. My only exception would be a law enforcement officer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone asked this before a play date, I would suggest we meet at a playground. I would also think you are nuts and would not invite you or your child over again.

Oh this works out perfectly then because I don't want my kid around gun nuts.

[Anonymous]

I understand the folks who ask because they wouldn't let their kids go to ANY house with a gun (understand, but don't agree with).

But I don't understand the folks who ask that are okay with safely stored guns. NO ONE is going to tell you they keep a handgun in the nightstand, or loaded shotguns in the easy access hunting rack in the garage. Everyone who answers yes is going to say something along the lines of "we keep them locked up" - how much more detail do you need? Or are you just looking for evasiveness?

Also, if you ask about guns, but don't ask about pools, prescription drugs, or other weapons, that's a bit hypocritical. "Drowning is responsible for more deaths among children 1-4 than any other cause except birth defects." (CDC - https://www.cdc.gov/homeandrecreationalsafety/water-safety/waterinjuries-factsheet.html )

We don't ask. I do my best to get to know each family first and only send my kids to to places I trust. Even then, of course there's always a risk - but everything carries risk.
Even if you do ask, some folks will lie. And I'm not sure I blame them. For you "no gun houses ever" people, if you knew that another family in your small neighborhood had guns, how many of you would tell other families too, "just to make sure they know and can keep their kids safe"?

[Anonymous]

Yes I ask about guns. If they have them, it depends on the answer of how they're stored.

[Anonymous]

I do ask about storage of guns and also state that my son is not allowed to play with toy guns. I do not do many playdates where I am not there also because my son just left kindergarten.

For that first drop-off play date, he told me later that the mom was picking up some toy guns during the play date. She is very nice and knows that I am extremely careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone asked this before a play date, I would suggest we meet at a playground. I would also think you are nuts and would not invite you or your child over again.

Oh this works out perfectly then because I don't want my kid around gun nuts.

What is the father is a police officer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always ask. And no, I would not let my child go to a home that has firearms.

I would rather be uncomfortable and impolite than have a dead child. Simple as that.

This, right here. My only exception would be a law enforcement officer.

"Elroy police chief's [3 year old] child injured in shooting accident with father's gun" http://www.wiscnews.com/juneaucountystartimes/news/local/article_ffc78273-db48-5844-8e04-562f7fdee28d.html

"An officer’s 2-year-old son died after he shot himself with his father’s gun" https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/12/24/an-officers-2-year-old-son-dies-after-he-shot-himself-with-his-fathers-gun-police-say/?utm_term=.d30f675bb790

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is a Law Enforcement Officer and encourages parents to ask about firearms in our home. It is irresponsible not to.

Yes, DH has a job that requires him to carry a firearm home every day. He stores the gun in a safe, unloaded, and the ammunition in a separate lock box on the top shelf of the garage before he comes into the house. We explain this to parents and understand 100% if they prefer to not allow their child to come over.

See if my child were friend's with someone like pp, I'd allow my kids to play at their house. To me, this is different than someone who has a gun for recreational use or home protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't ask. We assume many families have guns, and we'd only send our kid to houses where we know the parents well enough that we can trust them to keep the guns locked away.

We have guns locked away. We've been asked occasionally, and we've said that "No, we don't own any guns."

It's not information that we wish to disclose to anyone. It's a private matter. As far as other parents need to be concerned, there is absolutely no way that their kids will get their hands on our guns.

I don't get this. If you own guns, why are you ashamed to tell people? And as for other parents, aren't they to judge the situations they put their kids into?

I have no obligation to discuss any of my personal possessions with anyone, and I am totally indifferent to their feelings about it.

This person's responses are really depressing. You are taking the parents' ability to make an informed choice about risk away from them. I would tell you that I have a dog. I would tell you that I have a locked cabinet of alcohol. I would tell you that I have a cabinet of prescription medicine high up on a shelf. I would tell you I have a covered gated pool. Why can't you tell me that you own a gun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand the folks who ask because they wouldn't let their kids go to ANY house with a gun (understand, but don't agree with).

But I don't understand the folks who ask that are okay with safely stored guns. NO ONE is going to tell you they keep a handgun in the nightstand, or loaded shotguns in the easy access hunting rack in the garage. Everyone who answers yes is going to say something along the lines of "we keep them locked up" - how much more detail do you need? Or are you just looking for evasiveness?

Also, if you ask about guns, but don't ask about pools, prescription drugs, or other weapons, that's a bit hypocritical. "Drowning is responsible for more deaths among children 1-4 than any other cause except birth defects." (CDC - https://www.cdc.gov/homeandrecreationalsafety/water-safety/waterinjuries-factsheet.html )

We don't ask. I do my best to get to know each family first and only send my kids to to places I trust. Even then, of course there's always a risk - but everything carries risk.
Even if you do ask, some folks will lie. And I'm not sure I blame them. For you "no gun houses ever" people, if you knew that another family in your small neighborhood had guns, how many of you would tell other families too, "just to make sure they know and can keep their kids safe"?

My next door neighbor is a gun-owner. We heard from the neighbor on the other side of the house. We have his son over to play at our house/yard, but once I knew about it, I stopped letting my kids go over to their house. I makes excuses, and we're not super close, so its fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't ask. We assume many families have guns, and we'd only send our kid to houses where we know the parents well enough that we can trust them to keep the guns locked away.

We have guns locked away. We've been asked occasionally, and we've said that "No, we don't own any guns."

It's not information that we wish to disclose to anyone. It's a private matter. As far as other parents need to be concerned, there is absolutely no way that their kids will get their hands on our guns.

I don't get this. If you own guns, why are you ashamed to tell people? And as for other parents, aren't they to judge the situations they put their kids into?

I have no obligation to discuss any of my personal possessions with anyone, and I am totally indifferent to their feelings about it.

This person's responses are really depressing. You are taking the parents' ability to make an informed choice about risk away from them. I would tell you that I have a dog. I would tell you that I have a locked cabinet of alcohol. I would tell you that I have a cabinet of prescription medicine high up on a shelf. I would tell you I have a covered gated pool. Why can't you tell me that you own a gun?

Absolutely right. If someone asked me, "hey, my child is really afraid of dogs. do you have a dog?" I would say, "we do, and he can be very enthusiastic around new people. he sometimes jumps on people. would you prefer we meet up somewhere other than our house?" I would have zero problems with this; in fact, we often go to a friend's house rather than having her daughter come to our house because our dog frightens her girl, who is 2.5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is a Law Enforcement Officer and encourages parents to ask about firearms in our home. It is irresponsible not to.

Yes, DH has a job that requires him to carry a firearm home every day. He stores the gun in a safe, unloaded, and the ammunition in a separate lock box on the top shelf of the garage before he comes into the house. We explain this to parents and understand 100% if they prefer to not allow their child to come over.

See if my child were friend's with someone like pp, I'd allow my kids to play at their house. To me, this is different than someone who has a gun for recreational use or home protection.

Thanks. However, I would completely understand if you were uncomfortable. DS has one friend whose parents are uncomfortable and I understand. I always send snacks for everyone over to her house and try to reciprocate with play dates at the park or indoor play area. DH wants people to ask and follow their gut feeling no matter what - and so do I.