we're Jewish, 7yo daughter wants advent calendar
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Anonymous
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Sure, it's just a calender with chocolate. While you're at it, get a big blue sock and fill it with toys. Can't hurt to put some lights on the house too, after all they're just lights. She might enjoy taking some pictures with Santa - NBD, it s just a guy in a red suit. That's cool.
Just don't wonder why she has no interest in coming home for the Jewish holidays from college. Your daughter isnt a religious Jew, so you wont mind when your son in law handles the religious stuff.So mazel tov on your grand babies christening and confirmation! You'll have a wonderful time at your daughters home for Christmas. Merry Christmas to the whole mishpacha! |
Anonymous
You are a bitter person. |
Anonymous
| Jesus was Jewish. So your daughter wants a calendar to count down the days. Big deal. |
Anonymous
NP. Maybe in tone, but she's just being realistic. The statistics bear it out. "Inter-faith" upbringing usually ends in assimilation. Intermarriage is something like 75% now and Orthodox Jews are the only sect of Judaism whose population is growing and not shrinking. |
Anonymous
An earlier pp suggested moving to Israel to avoid assimilation. My first reaction to this was that it was a rude thing to say. But perhaps it makes sense for those who truly do not want to assimilate to be in a place where there is no outside influence. |
Anonymous
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Former Catholic here in an interfaith relationship raising a child mainly Jewish. I absolutely draw the line at an advent calendar. Advent is a really specific, religious ritual. In my family we did the advent calendar, plus special prayers each evening and candles for each night of advent. So if I were raising a child totally Jewish, there's no way I'd ok an advent calendar.
I will say, though, that advent calendars seem to be increasingly commercialized these days. So to the extent that some secular Christmas traditions don't really seem to be a threat, maybe advent calendars are becoming the same thing. Even so, I think I would nix the advent calendar because it's specifically meant to make a huge deal about anticipating the birth of Christ. This just is not compatible with a Jewish education. |
Anonymous
I am the PP and that is not quite what I said. I said Jews wanting to avoid assimilation while living a secular lifestyle might want to move to Israel OR NYC. Both have outside influences (NYC certainly so!) , but both also have the critical mass of secular Jews to make maintaining secular Jewishness viable. For one thing, in both places, even a young person who does not go out of their way to marry another Jew, stands a good chance of doing so anyway. In the rest of the world, unless there is a positive commitment to in dating and in marriage, they will intermarry, by sheer odds. And they will likely intermarry with someone with no particular interest in Jewishness, religious or secular. Thats leaving aside the fact that there will be little in their own dayevorp to day lives making them more "culturally Jewish" in any meaningful sense. As the Yiddish proverb had it "Mit honik ken men khapn mer flign vi mit esikr." You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. |
Anonymous
Note, this was to just suggest that tone does matter. |
Anonymous
Interfaith mom here. (Former catholic.) If the Jewish people want to avoid assimilation, I think they should become more welcoming to non-Jewish parents. I've had a really difficult time finding any place welcoming, and I actually really want to give my child a Jewish upbringing. |
Anonymous
The question of how synagogues should deal with interfaith families is an important one, and there are different approaches. I think its somewhat different from the issues raised by OP though. |
Anonymous
Agree that it's tangential. But, maybe if there were a stronger interfaith model, then the advent calendar would be less of a big deal overall. |
Anonymous
I doubt it. OP does not belong to a synagogue, and does not indicate a particular issue with the synagogue they go to occasionally. I really think this will just create another discussion of A. The differences between welcoming synagogue policies, and less welcoming laypeople B A lot of complaining about C and O shuls that have some halachic limits on what they can do for interfaith families C. Complaints about rabbis who give sermons against intermarriage. Some of which are very synagogue specific, or movement specific. |
Anonymous
My mom didn't think they were unusual back in the 70s when I was a kid growing up in a small (non-German) town in the midwest. They are as American as anything else that has been here for several generations. And yes, many of these things are cultural as much as religious and anyone is very welcome to partake in them, without feeling like they are impinging on a religious ceremony that is not "for" them. |
Anonymous
| Has anyone remembered that Jesus wasn’t even born this time of year?! |
Anonymous
| Oh and he wasn’t blind and blue eyes either. |