we're Jewish, 7yo daughter wants advent calendar
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Anonymous
Oh, this joyful time of year... we're pretty lax Jews, i.e. we don't belong to a shul but we celebrate holidays with family, and I feel my daughter is learning enough about her culture to keep the meaningful traditions alive. I myself grew up in an overwhelmingly Catholic town in New England as one of three Jewish kids in our elementary school, so the DMV is obviously extremely diverse by comparison! However it is simply an unavoidable fact of American life that all things Christmas are the norm at this time of year (decorations, music, movies, sales -- basically anything that can be "themed"). And naturally my 7yo has noticed that only Christmas stuff is everywhere, not Hanukkah. And she's started pointing out how it's "not fair" for this to be the case. I've been explaining how Hanukkah isn't really on a par with Christmas in terms of the religious significance of the holiday and how the marketing aspects of the two holidays came to be (never too early to start explaining America's true religion: capitalism!) but she really loves the concept of the advent calendar and wants to get one. I know for her it's all about the little surprises behind the little doors, and as I said, we're pretty lax Jews, but I just can't wrap my head around this. It's giving me flashbacks to my own childhood when I strongly advocated for the right to decorate a Hanukkah Bush in lieu of a Christmas Tree, and it was a total nonstarter in my family (a la Tevya: TRADITION!). I don't even fully understand the concept of advent, except as a countdown to Christmas, but I know it has some religious significance and it would feel weird to have one in my house. I should probably just buy some extra gelt and keep it around for distraction anytime she mentions the advent calendar. But I know this is part of the larger lifelong conversation about religion, American secular traditions, and where lax Jews like us fit into it all, so I'm trying to handle it appropriately without invoking my Tevya genes, and without completely capitulating to the capitalist urges that make the whole thing as problematic as possible. Thoughts on this, oh DCUM readers? Happy Holidays! 
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Anonymous
| We are practicing Christians and a couple of years ago my kids asked for a menorah and dreidels. We bought them and celebrated both holidays. I realize that it might be different this way then your way around to Christianity but it's possible and it's always nice to learn about other cultures. |
Anonymous
| Why not do a countdown to Hannukah or New Years? You can do a paper chain with activities or things written on it. That's all an advent caldendar is (well the non religious ones) |
Anonymous
| sure why not. |
Anonymous
I really, really, really do NOT want to judge you, but I think you just may be a TAD unrealistic? Unless you live in an overwhelmingly Jewish neighborhood (which it sounds like you do not) I don't think you can easily maintain a distinct Jewish identity, let alone the traditions, without membership in a synagogue (in theory you could in some other Jewish institution with the same level of community and commitment and regular attendance, but AFAICT no such institution exists around here). If you want to be secular, and also guarantee the kids are unassimilated, you probably need to move to NYC, or maybe even to Israel. |
Anonymous
| OP, wherever you come out on this—and you’re totally within your rights to decide whatever—just don’t let your daughter see you obsessing. When I was that age I wanted a doll in a wedding gown, because I liked the whole Victorian costume thing and wedding gowns were the closest thing you could buy in a kid’s doll. But I remember hearing my parents obsess for several nights about whether this would send an unintended signal that they expected me to get married. They meant so well, but at that tender age the whole thing freaked me out. GReally, it was just a doll in a pretty dress. (I’m married and Christian fwiw, but that doll had nothing to do with me getting married.) |
Anonymous
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Can you invent something?
I'm thinking about how "Mench on a Bench" was created after the success of "Elf on a Shelf" Good luck! |
Anonymous
| You are overthinking this OP. We got a Sponge Bob one at Safeway and countdown to Hanukkah. |
Anonymous
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We're atheists and the kids basically want a box of chocolates where they open one each day, and I say what the heck, give it to them.
After years of this, I assure you they show no particular interest in Christianity. I doubt your kid will be infected either. |
Anonymous
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OP, I hate to say this, but I'm a Christian and I find your attitude a little offensive. Advent calendars are not "cultural symbols." Advent is a holy time in the Christian faith, counting down the weeks until the birth of the savior. Churches celebrate each Sunday in a special way.
Sorry, but to me, this is on par with the "cultural appropriation" whining that liberals love to do. |
Anonymous
Charming. I wonder if the “doubt” of some bigotted rando on DCUM will give OP the comfort she’s loooking for. |
Anonymous
Meh. If her kid is so weak-minded that she is converted to Christianity by a box of chocolates, nothing anybody can say here could possibly comfort her. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
OP, as someone who was raised Christian and is in the process of converting to Judaism, an Advent calendar is definitely more religious than say, a Christmas tree. The period of Advent is a Christian time of the weeks leading up to the birth of the savior Jesus. A Christmas tree is a pagan symbol co-opted to represent the Christmas holiday. That said, you can make your own countdown calendar! Countdown to the end of Hanukkah, or New Years, or classes for the year. |
Anonymous
Get over yourself; Christians didn’t invent counting down to a special event. Is “Space Oddity” Christian cultural appropriation, too? |