Baby Now or Wait 2 Years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

My problem is with her belittling a profession she likely doesn't knows anything about. I come from a long line nurses, and it's hard work.

I don't think she is as much criticizing the profession as she is saying hm, I'm not sure that doing this while you're trying to start out working in that field is going to be much easier than doing it while you're in school...
Either way I agree the dig wasn't nice

if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing)


" if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing)". That is the definition of belittling a professsion.

it was a side-point. you clearly have trouble distinguishing relevant from irrelevant. but since you insist - yeah, smart people don't go to nursing. maybe they should but they don't. [/quote



You're an idiot. There are many smart nurses.

[Anonymous]

there is nothing wrong careers, perhaps, but it comes at a cost that you refuse to acknowledge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

My problem is with her belittling a profession she likely doesn't knows anything about. I come from a long line nurses, and it's hard work.

I don't think she is as much criticizing the profession as she is saying hm, I'm not sure that doing this while you're trying to start out working in that field is going to be much easier than doing it while you're in school...
Either way I agree the dig wasn't nice

" if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing)". That is the definition of belittling a professsion.

it was a side-point. you clearly have trouble distinguishing relevant from irrelevant. but since you insist - yeah, smart people don't go to nursing. maybe they should but they don't.

" Smart people don't go to nursing". Don't point out someone's IQ when you can't properly out together a sentence.

[Anonymous]

smart women (and men) who like medicine become doctors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:there is nothing wrong careers, perhaps, but it comes at a cost that you refuse to acknowledge.

OP here. I acknowledge it comes at a cost, but what's it to you or others? It doesn't affect anyone but my family. My career choices are mine alone. I worked as a retail pharmacist for 4 years, and chose to leave that profession to become a CRNA. Yeah it sucks that I had to go back to school, and I'm a little older, but I'm fine with that. I'm doing what will make me happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:smart women (and men) who like medicine become doctors.

But everyone wants to be a doctor. I bet you aren't.

[Anonymous]

I did not read the entire thread, but we got pregnant with our first two in under six months each, but then it took two years for our third. You have no idea whether you will get pregnant right away, have a hard time, or have miscarriages. So please keep that in mind when making your decision. If you wait, just know that your "plan" may not happen exactly as you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the terror of declining fertility is a little overblown on these boards, but if you think you'll want three there's no good reason to wait until 35 to get started. Not because all your eggs dry up on the eve of your 35th birthday, but because it's healthiest to give your body time to recover between pregnancies (the WHO recommends at least 2-3 years between pregnancies to protect maternal health, reduce premature birth and infant and child mortality).

Starting your family at 35 isn't a big deal, but finishing at 43 might be.

I agree with this post. It's not that being 35 is some huge problem, but I do think packing three pregnancies into 3-4 years is not a great idea for anyone at any age.

Nothing magical is going to happen between 33 and 35 in terms of you being able to carry a healthy pregnancy, that's for sure.

Except that if you start trying and DO run into unexpected issues or setbacks...there's a big difference between starting to seek fertility assistance at 37 than 35.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there is nothing wrong careers, perhaps, but it comes at a cost that you refuse to acknowledge.

OP here. I acknowledge it comes at a cost, but what's it to you or others? It doesn't affect anyone but my family. My career choices are mine alone. I worked as a retail pharmacist for 4 years, and chose to leave that profession to become a CRNA. Yeah it sucks that I had to go back to school, and I'm a little older, but I'm fine with that. I'm doing what will make me happy.

Why on earth did you post on a public message board?? You will only get anecdotal evidence one way or the other. Most people seem to think you should try now instead of waiting two years. That is obviously not what you wanted to hear. So you have already made up your mind and are looking for validation? Maybe talk to your friends about it. As for me, I had all sorts of plans laid out for how to balance my career and kids and timing. It didn't go at all according to plan, but after many years, I have the kids but not the career. Wish I could have had both, but it didn't work out that way for me and I have no regrets about the choice I made. I do have several friends who put off kids and were unable to conceive and either spent huge sums of money on donor eggs and gestational surrogates, or have been waiting 4 years or more to adopt. Only you and your husband can choose which risk you want to take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there is nothing wrong careers, perhaps, but it comes at a cost that you refuse to acknowledge.

OP here. I acknowledge it comes at a cost, but what's it to you or others? It doesn't affect anyone but my family. My career choices are mine alone. I worked as a retail pharmacist for 4 years, and chose to leave that profession to become a CRNA. Yeah it sucks that I had to go back to school, and I'm a little older, but I'm fine with that. I'm doing what will make me happy.

Why on earth did you post on a public message board?? You will only get anecdotal evidence one way or the other. Most people seem to think you should try now instead of waiting two years. That is obviously not what you wanted to hear. So you have already made up your mind and are looking for validation? Maybe talk to your friends about it. As for me, I had all sorts of plans laid out for how to balance my career and kids and timing. It didn't go at all according to plan, but after many years, I have the kids but not the career. Wish I could have had both, but it didn't work out that way for me and I have no regrets about the choice I made. I do have several friends who put off kids and were unable to conceive and either spent huge sums of money on donor eggs and gestational surrogates, or have been waiting 4 years or more to adopt. Only you and your husband can choose which risk you want to take.

Op here. I already explained why I am asking. The above is about my career path, which is my choice. I asked when people thought it was best to have a baby, considering my timeline. My DH and I are at odds over it. Some said now, some said after I graduation, and some said my second year. As I said, I am well aware it will be harder to get pregnant after 35, and it may take a while. I froze my eggs when I was 19. Although, I prefer not to use them, I have it as backup.

[Anonymous]

You went from a Pharmacist to an RN? That's a downgrade.

BTW! I'm an RN too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's problems arise from the fact that this is her second career but she wants pursue it like it's her first - to focus properly on coursework etc, just like other students. but, she is not like other students, she is several years (it seems like 5 or so) behind them. that introduces significant problems into her planning. the other problem is that she wants to have 3 kids in five year. that's basically five years of pregnancies, babies and toddlerhood all while pursuing a career that means so much to her. at 32 she doesn't feel ready to have a baby but in just a few years she thinks she will be ready for work, pregnancy, baby and toddler all happening at once.

Not Op but many people change professions all of time. Why are you focusing on criticizing her for it? When I was in my MBA program at 26, most of my peers were 30+. Was their age a reason to look down or criticize them? No! Everyone had their own walk of life. I applaud Op for leaving her last job to pursue her career. It's never too late.

Start to learn to nicer. Mean women raise mean kids.

And what is it to you whether she wants to have 3 kids in 5 years? You can not be ready at 32 and be ready by 34 for kids. It's not unheard of. She is smart to get school out of the way. Some of you have a strong case of superiority complex. My cousin is a nurse. She is currently back in school to be a nursing instructor while raising 2 under 2 and a teenager. She is 36 and most of her peers are the same age. There are many people going back to school in grad programs or for an advanced degree that are 30+. The oldest in my MBA class was a 56 year old dad. Instead of judging, motivate others. It will get you father in life.

She is back in school to become a nursing instructor? What program is that? One that makes you an instructor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there is nothing wrong careers, perhaps, but it comes at a cost that you refuse to acknowledge.

OP here. I acknowledge it comes at a cost, but what's it to you or others? It doesn't affect anyone but my family. My career choices are mine alone. I worked as a retail pharmacist for 4 years, and chose to leave that profession to become a CRNA. Yeah it sucks that I had to go back to school, and I'm a little older, but I'm fine with that. I'm doing what will make me happy.

Uhh you do know you came on here and specifically asked for feedback, right?

[Anonymous]

Everyone is talking about fertility. As a doc I can tell you that there is NO WAY to do a CRNA with a newborn. And work part time?? Haha. You can have it all. Just not at the same time. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is talking about fertility. As a doc I can tell you that there is NO WAY to do a CRNA with a newborn. And work part time?? Haha. You can have it all. Just not at the same time. Sorry, OP.

Op here. That's why I want to wait until after I am done with the program, but my DH wants one now. Thankfully, I have you who understand a CRNA is hard work.